LOL Cat Bible: Lectionary Readings for the Third Sunday in Lent

Third Sunday in Lent

Exodus 17:1-7
Psalm 95 (Ps. 95:1)
Romans 5:1-11
John 4:5-42

Exodus 17:1-7

Water frum Roks

1 awl teh izrelites left teh sandbocks of bad, An tehy moovd arownd wehn Ceiling Cat say so. tehy mayd camp at Rephidim, but tehr no were water.
2 so teh peepls complaned too Moses An say "gives us waters!!!" Moses say, "why y00 complane? is y00 giv Ceiling Cat pop quiz?"
3 but teh peepls wus reely therstee An tehy keeped complanes to Moses. tehy say "why u taked us owt of egypp? y00 wanna kill us An ar baybees An ar moocows from therstee?"
4 so Moses prayd to Ceiling Cat An say "wut i d00 wif teh peepls? tehy gonna frow roks at me soon!"
5 Ceiling Cat say to Moses "tayk sum izrelite leedrs An go in front of peepls. dont furget yor stik!
6 Iz gonna stan in frunt o y00 on a rok at Mount Sinai. hit teh rok wif teh stik, An waters come owt." So Moses did taht wehn teh izrelite leedrs wachd.
7 tehn taht playse wer calld Massah An Meribah cuz the izrelites complaned An gayv Ceiling Cat pop kwiz an akxed "is Ceiling Cat tehre?"

Psalm 95

1 Letz sing to Teh Ceiling Cat, und be shurz to singz real loud kay?
2 Spend Caturday with moar musicz lol.
3 Teh Ceiling Cat are amazing.
4 Teh Worldz be in hiz pawz, and he pwnz teh mountains lyke whoa.
5 Teh Ceiling Cat also pwnz teh seas, and he are make worldz.
6 Worship Teh Ceiling Cat.
7 Teh Ceiling Cat pwnz us all, for we bee sheepz lol.
8 If Teh Ceiling Cat says "Y HALLO THAR," don't turn your insidez to rockz like those at /b/.
9 For /b/ tried teh kitty powerz, even though Teh Ceiling Catz was like "Check dis shiiit out."
10 For OVER 9000! Years, Teh Ceiling Catz was angry at /b/, and said the hartz of /b/ kept runnin away, even without legz, and don't know teh kitteh wayz.
11 Teh Ceiling Cat got mad and said "THIS IS SPARTAAAA!" and kept them from Jesus Kitty.

Romans 5:1-11

Happy Kittyz Wehn Dogz Bark
1 Lissenup, youse yammerin, wez miawing bout Ceiling Cat anna Kitten Jebus,
2 we seez Invisible Water Dish anna graze inna littrboxz, anna miaw-miaw to da Ceiling Cat.
3 More d00dz, webe yammerin bouts Tribbles, anna Trouble Wit Tribbles (datbe da Staw Twek, Season 2, Episode 15) makus gud catz;
4 anna keeps doon it, nice earz; anna nice paws, noses.
5 Miaws summore, slavin ta Ceiling Cat iz gud an youse bin miawin to da Hover Cat, gud fur youse, srsly.

Jebus in Ours Littrboxz
6 Youse be weak kittyz, wen da Jebus did da dirtnap fur da athiesties.
7 Goody two-pawz didda dirtnap; wood youse dirtnap fur da nice d00dz too.
8 Buttz Ceiling Cat scratchz our earz, even wehn wez poopd onna floor, Jebus hung onna nailz fur uz.
9 Lookey, dirtnap boogie, we not RAWR-RAWR cauz da Jebus.
10 Wen we poked his earz we miawed to dat Ceiling Cat bout da nailin of Jebus, Catfight!, scratchy earz, we drinkd warm milk den, srsly.
11 Mor stuffz, we miawed happy Ceiling Cat anna Kittn Jebus Krisp, demz gibbin uz lotsa cheezburgz fur ettin anna warm milk.

Enter the ICHC online Poker Cats Contest!

HALP!
We hope to have many other Holy Kitties featured this year.
Please e-mail your photo, caption and link to me at

I can haz halp plz?
Plz go here.

Get ready now cuz the wild weekend is coming!
Board the Friday Ark at The Modulator (submit your post here)

Weekend Cat Blogging #142 Feb 23-24: Bad Kitty Cats
(see the week’s host to enter your WCB post
in the comments for the weekend roundup)

Bad Kitty Cats Festival of Chaos 02-24-2008
Mz. Mog & Kitty Cats at Mind of Mog
Optional Theme — CatNip Or Treats
(submit your post here)

The Carnival of the Cats #206 2/24/08 is going to
House of the (Mostly) Black Cats
(submit your post here)

Visit the Pet Prayer & Praise Blog

Technorati Tags: LOL Cat Church, LOL Cat Bible, Lectionary Readings, Prayer & Praise Blog, Weekend Cat Blogging

_/\_/\_