LOLCat Bible: Lectionary Readings for the 31st Sunday in Ordinary Time

31st in Ordinary Time | Proper 26 | Pentecost +23
Habakkuk 1:1-4, 2:1-4 or Isaiah 1:10-18
Psalm 119:137-144 or Psalm 32:1-7
2 Thessalonians 1:1-4, 11-12
Luke 19:1-10

HALP! Holy Cat photos are needed for this weekly post. If your cat is without sin, has a visible halo or any other mark of holiness or worthines, please send me her/his photo as soon as possible.

If you would like to help with the translation, click here. These are the sections of today's readings that have been translated:

Habakkuk 1:1-4

1Teh oracle dat Habakkuk teh prophet gotzted.
Habakkuk sez:
2 OHAITHAR Ceiling CAt, why u be ignorin me?
3 ur all liek, "violence n haterz, let me show you them"
4 there4, u suck. luv, Habakkuk

Habakkuk 2:1-4

1 yway, waitin to hear from u, KTHXBAI
CEILING CAT'S answer:
2 So Ceiling Cat sez: "here's a tablet, u better fucking get this."
3 "I knoes u be waitin 4 a revelashun, but these things take time. Itz comin tho, u wait." (Check back of book if u can't wait)
4 "n this d00d here, his desirez not right, but all these kittehs still think he's pretty fucking cool"

Isaiah 1:10-18

10 Ffs, dis iz teh last taim ceiling cat iz gonna tel u:
11 "ZOMG GUISE, AI HAZ ENUF OV U KITTEHS! Tank u so much 4 kepin al teh mousez for me but ai kant eats dem al dat fast! Iz not lol ennimor! We iz waistin teh mousez! U iz can haz bein killin al teh mousez an i iz sik ov it!
12 "Eniwai, hu tolded u to get al teh mousez and be rekkin mai haus? Not ai. Ceiling cat don be tellin nowun to be makin teh mes u kittehs haz maid.
13 "So nau ceiling cat be tellin u to stop gettin al teh mousez,
14 an u not be aloud to haz al nait partees enimor coz ceiling cat iz gettin jak ov it. Teh muzak iz too laud an teh nayborz don liek r0x0rz muzak eniwai. If u guise haz anuzza partee den ceiling cat wil be shautin 'oh hai everywun, i iz in ur partay and i iz shuttin it daun.'
15 "An i noes dat u iz gunna cumplain bout it, but ceiling cat iz gunna sai 'tork to mai por' and waiv hiz por arund soz that he kant here u kittehs cumplainin. It iz al ur foltz for not ternin daun teh muzak, an i iz punishin u al.
16 "Soz befor ceiling cat kikz ur kittehbutts outta teh haus, kleen it up alredi. Stop be trashin mai haus
17 uzzawize no mor cheezburgrz, EVA."
18 At tis point, ceiling kat iz eetin a cheezburgr NOM NOM NOM to remaind teh kittehs hu da boss.

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