meeyauw: LOL Cat Bible: Lectionary Readings for Sunday, January 16, 2011

Saturday, January 15, 2011

LOL Cat Bible: Lectionary Readings for Sunday, January 16, 2011

Sunday, January 16, 2011

Isaiah 49:1-7
Psalm 40:1-11
1 Corinthians 1:1-9
John 1:29-42

Psalm 40

4 Teh Directa of Teh Music. A Psalm ov David

1 iz waiting fur teh ceiling cat; tearz is on mai cheekz an he sez "oh, hai!"
2 he lifts mi out of durty litturs box an putz me on teh kichun florr
3 he putz new meow in mai mouf, meow of praiz fo’ he. allz will see an leep an curlz up in da lap of he.
4 warm is teh cat who make he hiz lap, doez no fear teh dogz, t’ tho wo purrz to ‘tend sky hol.
5 mahni, o cat mi cat, ar teh wonderz yeh hav dun. teh th’ngz yeh plan’d fer uz no un can recon to yeh; wer mi to meow an tellz of tehm, tehy wud be too mani meowz.
6 let looze an offer’ng yeh didnz desire, buh mi nailz yeh haf clip’d; burnt ofr’ngz an s’n offer’ngz yeh didnz make rulez ov.
7 Den i sed, "her im, i has come - It written bout me in da scroll.
8 i desire 2 do ur will, o mah ceilin cat; Ur law iz within mah hart."
9 i proclaim righteousnes in da great assembly; I no seal mah lips, As u knoe, o lord.
10 i no hide ur righteousnes in mah hart; I speek ov ur faithfulnes an salvashun. I no conceal ur luv an ur truth Frum teh great assembly.
11 do not withhold ur mercy frum me, o lord; Cud ur luv an ur truth always protect me.
12 4 troublez without numbr surround me; Mah sins has overtaken me, an i cant c. They r moar than teh hairs ov mah head, An mah hart fails within me.
13 be pleezd, o lord, 2 save me; O lord, come quickly 2 halp me.
14 cud all hoo seek 2 taek mah life Be put 2 shame an confushun; Cud all hoo desire mah ruin Be turnd bak in disgrace.
15 cud dose hoo say 2 me, "aha! Aha!" Be appalld at their own shame.
16 but cud all hoo seek u Rejoice an be glad in u; Cud dose hoo luv ur salvashun always say, "teh lord be exaltd!"
17 yet im poor an needy; Cud teh lord finkz ov me. U r mah halp an mah deliverr; O mah ceilin cat, do not delay.

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1 Corinthians 1:1-9

O HAI
1 Dis is lettur frem Paul, frienz wif happy cat, an cieling cat sai hai, an mei brofer tew!
2 To de box of ceiling cat that is ovr ther wher u ar, an to all dat is bff wit happy cat and miau to him and stufz.
3 Noms and sleepz to u saiz happy cat!

THNX
4 I thnx ceiling cat fur all teh happies
5 becuz now u has lotz of cheezburgers an can miau relly cute an open dors and stufz.
6 Becuz ur srsly frienz wif happy cat
7 he saiz do awsom stufz now and he coem later.
8 He also sai dnt wurry, even if u scratch teh sofa, iz ok.
9 Ceiling cat dont run off, an he sais u an happy cat is frienz forevur!!

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John 1:29-42

Ceiling Catz Shepe Happy Cat
29 Next dai John seed Happy Cat . Sez "O hai Ceiling Catz shepe. Him fix invisibul error!!!1!
30 Tihs gai ai sed folowz me.
31 Ai washt peepz wit water (WTF??!1! Srsly) so Israel ppl no him."
32 John sez "Invisible Cat caem an stuck to him.
33 Invisibul Cat proovs
34 I seed an I no him is Ceiling Catz Kitteh!!!1!"

Happy Cat Noo Posse
35 Next dai John seed Happy Cat.
36 Sez "O hai Ceiling Catz shepe" (agin lol)
37 Hiz ppl heerd him. Tehy stalk Happy Cat.
38 Happy Cat seed tehm sed "Oh hai, sup?" They sed "Oh hay Teachr, ware ur place?"
39 Him sai ovr heer. So they chillt wit him an eated cheezburgrz.
40 Andrew was 1 those gais.
41 Andrew telled his brother Simon "Oh hai we found teh Chozen Wan. He was behind teh sofa."
42 They went to saw Happy Cat an he sed "Yu Simon. I cal yu Rocky LOL."