meeyauw: LOL Cat Bible: Lectionary Readings for January 2, 2011

Monday, January 03, 2011

LOL Cat Bible: Lectionary Readings for January 2, 2011

Sunday, January 2, 2011
Jeremiah 31:7-14 or
Sirach 24:1-12
Psalm 147:12-20 or
Wisdom of Solomon 10:15-21
Ephesians 1:3-14
John 1:(1-9), 10-18

Psalm 147

1 Praise Ceiling Cat! Happyz for Ceiling Kitteh is full of win; feelz good, yeah; he deeservs it.
2 Ceiling Cat builds big house: wit lotza cheezburgers n beds n no goggies. Den he bring all teh little kittehs insydez n sez: "Heer, Ai madez dis and gibs dis to you."
3 Dere, dere, not cry, Ceiling Kitteh cleans your boo-boo n givz cookie. lickedy-lick, sad hooman has flavr.
4 All the starz, they iz mine! They called what Ceiling Cat calls'em. Ceiling Kitteh calls'em starz: "mine!"
5 Ceiling Kitteh is allova the ceilling, and seeeeeeeez you dancing.
6 Ceiling Cat lifting heavy sad ppls, but teh ebils no can haz yummy noms.
7 Sing for Ceilling Kitty, hooman, give him bellyrubs; sing and dance, and give moar bellyrubs.
8 He refillz deh cookie platez n makes hoomins buy moar cheezburger.
9 He give noms to da moo cows & deh lowd birdies too.
10 Ceiling kitty no impressed by horseys or strong doods, srsly.
11 Dah Ceiling Cat lovz all kittehs who haz fear of him, And who knowz dat Ceiling Cat haz srs lovez.
12 Praize dah Ceiling Cat, Kittehs.
Praize dah Ceiling Cat, Hoomans.
13 Cauze he keeps the bad goggies outsyd n makez dah houze saefr, and givez Itteh Bitteh Kitteh Committehs as gifts.
14 An he givez peece to dah couch, an sendz the bezt of cheezburger to hiz kittehs.
15 Wen he meows or purrz, aminals n hoomins listin.
16 He putz comfy bwankets on teh bed n chuzes da preety colorz in teh houzes.
17 Ceiling Cat maek pillow avalanch cuz no kitteh lieks teh real sno.
18 He sez wen it nyce outside and wen it time for noms.
19 Ceiling Kitteh sez to all deh kittehs be nice to goggie and hoomins n luvs him n all uthr kittehs.
20 Da kittehs r speshul cuz he 'splains dis to dem. Praise Ceiling Kitty and give gushi foods.

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Ephesians 1:3-14

Free stuf frum teh Ceiling Cat
3 Luv teh Ceiling Cat nd Jesus dat givez us teh free stuf.
4 Teh Ceiling Cat pikded us to be teh holey nd gud kittehs.
5 Ceiling Cat adopps uz as teh kittehs thru Jesus cuz he wants to,
6 nd givz us teh Jesus, who he luvs lots.
7 Jesus lets us off teh hook 4 arr invisible errorz.
8 No end of teh good cuz Ceiling Cat has teh brainz.
9 He tellz us evrythin we needs to kno abt, cuz he wantd 2.
10 Nd wen teh time is rddy, its will awl be in wun cookie bag with teh nam uv Jesus awn it.

11 A plan- Ceiling Cat haz it, and choosded us for it. He knos wat hes doin. Srsly.
12 This wai teh Jew kittehs maek Ceiling Cat happy nd they gets saved,
13 nd nao evry1 else has teh life saved 2. We is addoptd 4 real nao, like he promisd.
14 Ceiling Cat buys us so we can has gud stuf.

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John 1:(1-9), 10-18

Teh Cat Macro Becamded Flesh
1 In teh beginz is teh meow, and teh meow sez "Oh hai Ceiling Cat" and teh meow iz teh Ceiling Cat.
2 Teh meow an teh Ceiling Cat iz teh bests frenz in teh begins.
3 Him maeks alls teh cookies; no cookies iz maed wifout him.
4 Him haz teh liefs, an becuz ov teh liefs teh doodz sez "Oh hay lite."
5 Teh lite iz pwns teh darks, but teh darks iz liek "Wtf."
6 And teh Ceiling Cat haz dis otehr man; his naem iz John.
7 He tellz teh ppl dat teh lites is tehre, so dat teh doodz mite bleev"
8 Him wuz not teh lite; he jsut sez teh lites is tehre.
9 Teh tru lite ov lotz of lite wuz comes, k?
10 He iz liek, "Oh hai, I mades u," but teh wurld duznt sees him.
11 He iz comes to his stuffs, but his stuffs sez "Do not want!"
12 And sum guyz did want, and sez "Teh Ceiling Cat pwns," and deez guyz iz liek his kidz—
13 But not liek reel kidz, k? Iz liek teh Ceiling Cats kidz.
14 Teh cat macro comez dwn frm Ceiling (omg) and he is lives wif us. We is sees teh glorie taht is frum teh one n only; him come from teh dad wif teh grace and teh truth.
15 John is liek "Oh hai" becuz uf him. He sez "OMG tihs guy iz teh one taht is comes after me him iz bettr becuz him comes frst, k?"
16 Becuz is a lotz of grayce we can has cheezburgers.
17 Moses is liek "Hay I has teh lawz"; Jebus is has teh grayce and teh trooth.
18 Ceiling Cat is Invisible, but teh one n only (him is wif Ceiling Cat) is liek "Hay look."

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Weekend Cat Events

Weekend Cat Blogging
#291 Dec 29-31 New Year’s Edition: Pam at Sidewalkshoes
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#355 – Nikita Cat
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