Friday, March 28, 2008

LOL Cat Bible: Lectionary Readings for the Second Sunday of Easter

Second Sunday of Easter

Acts 2:14a, 22-32
Psalm 16 (Ps. 16:11)
1 Peter 1:3-9
John 20:19-31

Psalm 16
Gud Stuffs

1 Hai, Celing Cat, I can has protekshuns?
2 I sez 2 Ceiling Cat: "Hai! Celing Cat! U R teh ooberest! LOL!!!11"
3 if u no lyke den u suck.
4 If u no lyke Ceiling Cat den F U, n00b! Sumthin bout libashuns!
5 Ceiling Cat can has my stuffses.
6 Thx 4 mah howse, Ceiling Cat!
7 U tells me 2 do stuff!
8 Ceiling Cat alwayz be wit me, kinda creepy
9 but oober asum!
10 Cuz u no leev me 4 woomun, Ceiling Cat, even if her chesticlz be hyoooooj!!
11 You teechz me 2 not suck

Acts 2: 14-32

14 Den Peter stowd up wit teh eleven an sed to teh cwowd: "Oh hai!
15 Weez not drunk sillee! It be nine ay em, DO NOT WANT!
16 U know wut Joel teh profitz sez? Wel I tell yu:
17 'In teh last daiz, Ceiling Cat sez,
Im in ur urthz, puurin teh spiritz on all kittehs,
Ur suns and doters can has profisies,
Ur yung kittehs can has fun time in teh eyez!
Ur old kittehs can has fun time in teh branez!
18 Yo!
I can has be puttin my spiritz on even teh servents! RLY!
And dey can has profisies.
19 Iz gunna show u all ov teh fun stuffs up in teh Ceilin, srsly.
Oh! Yeh! Iz almos can has no memowies. Iz awso gunna show fun stuffz on teh urthz.
Oh wate, dos not fun! Urthz can has firez an smoke. Kawf! Kawf! DO NOT WANT!
20 Teh big day staw, no moar!
An teh moon can has be all blud and stuffz. Yuk!
but den Jeebus can has be back! Yayz!
21 An evewywun who be like "Jeebus!" can has cheezburger! Rly!'

22 Hey kittehs of teh Israel, lissen to dis: Jebus wuz of Ceiling Cat, srsly. He doed ALL teh cool stuffz an stuff.
23 An den yu kill him, rly.
24 But den Ceiling Cat browt him bac! He can has teh powah! Deths... wuz dat? lol.
25 Dis iz wut David sed:
'Ceiling Cat alwayz be wit me, kinda creepy
26 but oober asum!
27 Cuz u no leev me 4 woomun,
Ceiling Cat, even if her chesticlz be hyoooooj!!
28 You teechz me 2 not suck'
29 Kittehs,I can has wordz that teh David... he is ded.
30 But he wuz profet, srsly. Ceiling Cat sed dat his kittehs one day be on teh thronez.
31 Den Ceiling Cat wuz all sayin about Baby Jebus raisen frum teh ded!
32 Baby Jeebus wuz all bac from the ded, yu kno dis. Yu saweded!

1 Peter 1:3-9

3 Jeebus’ dad, Ceiling Cat, is win, cauze he gave us Jeebus and made him a zombie,
4 and will let us has chzburgurs and cookies wit him latr,
5 if u leik him.
6 Don’t run out of happy cuz some stuff is teh sux,
7 cookies and chzburgurs r better than gold,
8 and tho Ceiling Cat is leik invisible bike,
9 u can has them if u leik Jeebus and believe in Ceiling Cat.

John 20:24-31

24 Naow Thomas teh dscpl wuznt wiht teh otehr dscpls wen Jesus camez.
25 Teh otehr dscpls sayed "OMG we haz sawed teh Dood!" But Thomas sayed "His wounz--show them to me."

26 Ltr, teh dscpls iz in teh hous wif Thomas. Teh doorz iz lockded, but Jesus waz liek "Oh hai!"
27 And Jesus sayed "My wounz--let me show u them. Srsly, stfu."

28 And Thomas sayed "OMG! U rulz!"

29 Jesus sez to him "Becuz u seez me and beleevs, iz goode; but iz moar bettr ifs sumone duznt seez me but stil beleevs."

30 BTW: Jesus haz does a lotz moar of teh otehr stuffs, and I rites tehm downd, but I eated tehm.
31 But I dint eated theez stuffs, so u kin beleev Jesus and hav teh lifes, k?


Messages from LOL Cat Bible:

60% of the Bible is translated.  
I joined twitter, so if you are really 
inclined you can follow what I'm doing.
Ceiling Cat sez yu mabee shud maek dis paypacraft. 
Its awsum! Lurn how an upload pikchas heer!

We hope to have many other Holy Kitties featured this year.
Please e-mail your photo, caption and link to me at
Get ready now cuz the wild weekend is coming!
Board the Friday Ark at The Modulator (submit your post here)

Weekend Cat Blogging #147 Mar 29-30: Amar and Luna at CatSynth
(see the week’s host to enter your WCB post 
in the comments for the weekend roundup)

Bad Kitty Cats Festival of Chaos Edition 38 • 03-30-2008
The Brats at Pet’s Garden Blog
Optional Theme - Eyes Or Ears
(submit your post here)

The Carnival of the Cats #211 is going to 

1 comment:

  1. Lolcat translations can be a little touch hit or miss, but the opening Psalm was rly kul. Srsly!


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