Friday, May 23, 2008

LOL Cat Bible: Lectionary Readings for the Second Sunday after Pentecost

Second Sunday after Pentecost

Isaiah 49:8-16a
Psalm 131 (Ps. 131:2)
1 Corinthians 4:1-5
Matthew 6:24-34



Psalm 131
Ai iz Calm

1 My hart iz not brave, Ceiling Cat, i dont tink about big tings, like tuna on frigarator
2 but i haz learned to STFU; like a kitteh witout mama, like a small kitteh is meh soul
3 Izrael, believe in Ceiling Cat for eveh and eveh

1 Corinthians 4:1-5
Apossels uv Christ

1 Evribodi ought to treet us liek we workz for Ceiling Cat n he trustz us wif hiz secretz.
2 If u iz trustid then u gotz to akt liek it.
3 I doant caer if u jujiz me. I doant evn juj maiself LOL.
4 Duznt mean I iz inosent. Meanz Ceiling Cat jujiz me.
5 So doant juj nuthing yet. Wait for Ceiling Cat. He will turn on teh liet n look into evribodis heartz n sai "Good job" if u dezervz it.

Matthew 6:25-34
Pls to stop havin teh kittehz lulz

25 so i sez, stop havin teh kittehz bout ur lifes, wat cheezburgerz or drinx u is havin, or about ur bodeez n wat u iz wearin. Iz life not moar importint den teh foodz, and teh bodeez moar importint den teh cloathz?
26 Lookit teh birdz in teh ceilingz, dey dont be in teh fieldz gatherin teh f00dz or puttin dem away in teh barnz, but teh Ceiling Cat givez dem f00dz anywayz lolz. Wat, u aint more better den dem?
27 Who can make teh life longur by havin teh kittehz newayz?
28 And y u be havin teh kittehz about teh raimentz? Lookit teh lileez in teh fieldz. Dey dont work or nuffingz
29 but Solom0n cant pwn them even with his pimp outfitz. No rly.
30 If teh Ceiling Cat makes teh grass all pritty, and it gets thrwn into teh 0venz 2morr0w, wat about u, peeplz who no beleiv dat much?
31 So plz to be stoppin havin teh kittehz n sayin "oh noez, i can has cheezburger?" or "wat 2 be wearin 2dae?"
32 Bcuz onlee teh n00bz be havin kittehz about thees thingz, k? Ceiling Cat noez wat u need. srsly.
33 Look around first for teh kingd0m and teh r0xorz of teh Ceiling Cat, an u can has all thees thingz.
34 So stop havin teh kittehz bout teh fut00r bcuz it have enuff kittehz alreddy. 2dae pwns u enuff. kthxbai.

Humorous Pictures
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News from lolcatbible.com: May 12th
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Get ready now cuz the wild weekend is coming!
Board the Friday Ark at The Modulator
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in the comments for the weekend roundup)


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at The Catboys Realm
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