meeyauw: LOL Cat Bible: Lectionary Readings for Christmas Eve 2010

Friday, December 24, 2010

LOL Cat Bible: Lectionary Readings for Christmas Eve 2010

Christmas Eve, Friday, December 24, 2010

Isaiah 9:2-7
Psalm 96
Titus 2:11-14
Luke 2:1-14, (15-20)

Isaiah 9

1 Mai proffercy, let me show you it. Iz gonna be awright. Fr Galileliliee anyways.
2 Cats that iz in dark haz evn bettah nihgt vizhun than befoar.
3 Cookies an cheezburgrs everywhrs!
4 Midian no can haz cheezburgrs.5 Evry warryuh's boot wll be burntd so no mre kickng cats, lol.
6 We haz boy kitteh yay lol!! Him wll haz governanmnt an wll be calld d00d, l33t, Ceiling Cat, leadr of the littah, teh most effectual Top Cat lol.
7 Hims governanenemnt wll get biggah an biggah an him wll sit on David's thron cushions forevah. Srsly. Ceiling Cat sayz.

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Psalm 96

1 Ceiling cat want nyoo song, k? So all teh kittehs be sings to him.
2 So sings to Ceiling Cat an sez he ful of win. And speekz his win for daze an daze.
3 An tel uther kittehs he reel gud, k? His win wiv all kines of kittehs.
4 Cos Ceiling Cat is gud! An you say he gud, k? Haz moar scary and fierce than uther kittehs!
5 Ceiling Cat is only reel Ceiling Cat! An he maeks Ceiling.
6 All nice thingz be befoar him, an hiz haus be big an tuff.
7 Yoo be folowin Ceiling Cat kittehs, k? Yoo be sez, 'he haz a strong, an he haz a glory!'.
8 So yoo sez Ceiling Cat is OSSAM, k? Yoo maeks him cookie an not eatz it for when see him, k?
9 Be sayin nice things bout Ceiling Cat, an be 'Oh Noes! Ceiling Cat be fwightning!'.
10 An tel uther kittehs he in charge, k? Urf is heer now, an is stuck, liek kitteh stuck in sofa. Ceiling Cat sez 'Yoo iz gud kitteh' or 'Yoo is bad kitteh'.
11 An let the Ceiling an Urf haz a happy! Let waterz and lolruses maek noizes!
12 An let garden haz a happy, an fings in garden (exept doggiez), an trees an fings in trees.
13 An all be sings to Ceiling Cat, cos he be comes to sez 'GOOD KITTEH' or 'BAD KITTEH' to all kittehs in Urf.

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Titus 2:11-15

11 Cos Ceiling Cat's pwr is savin us an everyone knows it, so tehre.
12 So dont do bad stuffs or has teh bad secks, and stay off teh catnipz for now
13 Cos then Baby Jesus might turn up on his invisible bike an bring cheezburgrs!
14 An you know he dedded for us, so we owez him, kthxbye.
15 So tehre.

Luke 2:1-14, (15-20)

Jeebus iz bornd
1 'Roun dis tiyem, Agustis Seezr wuz like, "I can has sensus?"
2 ('Coz while Quirinius was Teh Boz of Syria, is invisible sensus!)
3 And all teh doodz went home for teh saying, "I iz heer!"
4 So Joseph went from Naz'reth to Judeeah to Bethlehemm whar David wuz borned, 'coz David wuz hiz graete-graete gran-daddie,
5 An Mary went wif him, 'coz she was gonna be married wif him an she had Jeebus n her tummy oven.
6 When they wuz ther, it wuz time for teh kittn to be borned.
7 it wuz a boy, so he wuz wrapd in blanket like burrito an placd him in fud dish (srsly!), cuz innkeeper wuz liek, no room here kbai!

Sheep-doodz n Angels
8 Then there wuz sheep-doods in teh field, an they wuz watchin teh sheep in teh dark. Iz vry vry boring. srsly.
9 An suddenly, visible angel! An glory! O noez!!
10 But teh angel sed, "DONT AFRAID OF ENYTHING! it r ok, you can has gud news for all teh doodz!
11 Todai in da city ov David, you can has sayvur! is Christ da Lord! w00t!
12 Iz sign fer u, find da kitteh wrapd like brrito in a big fud dish."
13 An suddenly, moar angelz! They sez,
14 "w00t to teh Ceiling Cat! An peace fer doodz he luffs! Kthxbai."
15 An when da angelz go invisible again, sheep-doodz sed, "sweet, nao we find teh brrito-baybee sayvur!"
16 So dey left da sheeps (sheeps r vry borng) and found Joe an Mary and da baybee in da fud dish.
17 An when dey saw it wuz baybee an not brrito, they told evrywun he wuz kewl,
18 An all teh doodz who herd were lyke, "neat-o brrito!"
19 An Mary wuz lyke, "o rly?"
20 Teh sheep-doodz sed, "Yay fer Ceiling Cat! Was not invisible brrito!"
21 On dai numbah 8 fr Jeebus's laif, it wuz tiem 2 circumcize him (iz laik getting fixd and naemd an stufs). Joseph wantd to call him George or Nathan or sumthin liek tht, but Mary wuz liek STFU we iz callen him Jeebus, coz Gabriowl sed tht wuz hiz naem an also coz we dont has naimz liek Billy Bob yet.

Our cat, our Xmas tree, & time-lapse from Griffin Hammond on Vimeo.

Weekend Cat Events

Get ready now cuz the wild weekend is coming!
Board the Friday Ark at The Modulator (submit your post here)

Weekend Cat Blogging
#290 Dec 24-26 Christmas Edition: Jules and Vincent at Judi’s Mind Over Matter
(see the week’s host to enter your WCB post in the comments for the weekend roundup)

The Carnival of the Cats
#354 – Nikita Cat
(submit your post here)

Ree-purrted by KC

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