The New Kitchen Windows (or How We Spent New Year’s Day)

The front kitchen window as it was when I bought the house.
Note how the doorway to the living room and stairs is going to be walled off on the left.

The debris from the demolition of the ancient plaster kitchen ceiling had been cleared. The dust was settling. I was recovering and was able to breath easier again, but still was not well. By New Year's Day, John had progressed to the point of being able to install the new kitchen windows on the front of the house. The kitchen area is being moved from the back of the west side of the house to the front. I love the beaver bog across the road and need to be able to see it all the time, so John designed the kitchen so that will be possible. You see in the photo above that the old (but not original) drywall was still in place on New Year's morning. John had to remove this wall to properly install the window and rebuild the wall. We were fortunate that the day was one of the warmest winter days I have experienced in Vermont.

A ladybug infestation was found inside the old, warm wall.

Besides the "normal" mouse and squirrel damage, bones and feces, John uncovered beetle infestations and this ladybug infestation in the old wall. These Asian ladybugs infest thousands of homes in the north country. I have written about them here if you would like to learn more. All of the pests and filth were cleaned before the work proceeded.

Finally, the entire wall was ready for the new window.

The old window had to be removed. John found that there originally had been two windows on this wall, two feet apart. They were taller and narrower windows than the one you see here. See the door on the right in the photograph above? This window was going to replace that door. John found that the Anderson window here was installed wrong and was beginning to rot because of the poor installation. But John's renovations found the damage in time to make repairs.

The old window is removed and we have fresh, warm air pouring into the house.

It is now dark and the first new window is in place.
I was able, in small ways, to help install it.

The 2nd window is now in place.
You can see the old window standing on the floor on the right.

Sunlight now pours into the kitchen every day. The sheet rock is on the walls now (you will see those photos soon), the walls are clean and draft-free, and the kitchen is going to be magnificent!

_/\_/\_

Bizarre Home Improvements

The original bedroom floor is revealed.
The skylight was removed last winter.

In order to properly restore the house, John had to level the entire house with jacks. This would also insure that the kitchen floor was level. He was able to jack the house up quite a bit (a couple of inches) but it still was not level because something was holding it down. John found that our bedroom floor, above the kitchen, was the reason. People had installed a new bedroom floor in a bizarre attempt to keep the kitchen ceiling in place. Instead of repairing the kitchen ceiling, they covered it with multiple layers of stuff and it was still falling down. To prevent the floor above from shaking the ceiling down, they put in new joists on top of the original  bedroom floor. They used hundreds of dollars of joists, covered those with a subfloor and then with carpeting. Because of this new floor and the layers of ceiling underneath, there was at least eight inches difference in height in these two rooms.

There used to be a step going into our bedroom at the top of the stairs.

John uncovered a blue linoleum floor from the 1950s underneath the new floor. The linoleum was in perfect condition. The step into the bedroom and the step down into the closet under the eaves are now gone and the room is larger and level.

Two old cast iron registers that allowed heat to rise from the kitchen
were uncovered under the floor.

Our bedroom, over the kitchen, was always the coldest room in the house. I remember keeping thermometers in the room and once registered a low temperature of 43°F (6°C) for several nights. It was difficult sleeping there. You had to wear socks, sweats, bathrobes and use at least two quilts for those windy, winter nights. There were no heating ducts in any of the upstairs rooms.

We quickly found that the new floor covered heat registers that had been in the original floor (and the original kitchen ceiling), allowing heat to rise from the first floor. But wait! There's more!

John moved all the furniture out and back in and finished restoring the floor in only one day.
You can see the space beneath the floor and the snow on the window.
Snow outside and in!

The west side of the bedroom has windows where we can see the summit of Barton Mountain. But the northwest arctic winds come from there, also. And John found that the room was never sealed when the new floor was built. You can see in the photos above and below the huge space between the wall and floor that was simply left open. This means that winter winds blew directly from outside into the bedroom. No wonder we froze in the winter! What a bizarre way to "improve" a house!

You can look into the kitchen from the southwest corner of the bedroom. The northwest corner of the bedroom led directly to the attic and the outside.

Once the strange openings in the wall were uncovered, Zorro the Cat would let himself outside simply by slipping under the wall, running through the attic, down the attic stairs and to the outside. The wind would come into the room the same way.

Once the newer floor in the bedroom was removed, the house was no longer pinned in place and bounced up a couple of more inches level. The holes in the wall are plugged with insulation for the time being. The southwest holes that opened into the kitchen below are nearly repaired now. And warmth? We are now as warm upstairs as we are downstairs! In fact, since we both like a cool bedroom, we may have to open windows in the winter soon!

_/\_/\_

A Christmas Eve View

The view of Barton Mountain
from our bedroom window on Christmas Eve morning.

_/\_/\_

Demolition (or How We Spent Our Christmas)

Gold flock wallpaper — the third layer under the ceiling.

With a house leaking wind and snow (yes, we even got snow inside!), it was vital that, holidays or not, John continued the renovations of the house. The week before Christmas he began the kitchen. There were several layers of ceiling to be removed, and this was the absolute worst thing to live through.

Partially demolished kitchen showing the 2nd yellow ceiling layer
and the original replacement window.

Under the suspended ceiling that we have lived with for years, there was a yellow sheetrock-type ceiling. Under that was gold flocked wallpaper. And under the wall paper was sheetrock and insulation. Under the insulation was the original plaster ceiling from 110 years ago. It was disgusting. It held a century of filth and dust. There were squirrel and mouse skeletons and scat. When the plaster came down, it created an awful rolling cloud throughout the house. I failed to wear a mask, despite John's warnings, and the next day (the Wednesday before Christmas) I was barely able to breathe and was at the clinic getting asthma treatments.

180° from the previous photo showing the kitchen with partially demolished ceiling.

John cleaned and vacuumed and cleaned and shoveled debris as I used a nebulizer and masks at home. I have slowly gotten better, but the doctor thinks that until we can open the house in the spring, I will be using extra asthma meds for months. At least now, in the middle of January, I am able to help John a teeny tiny bit, go to work and continue my housework and cooking.

This used to be the sun porch. Now it is part of the kitchen area.
Windows and doors are being moved about. Outside the door on the right
will be a porch for sitting in the summer.

The photographs in this post go up to right after Christmas. The entire area is now studded and sheet rocked. Windows have been moved, new windows have been installed and now the house is clean and tidy. I have half of a kitchen for cooking.

Looking from the old kitchen into the new living room with the saw.

This is what happens when you demolish a 110 year old plaster ceiling.

The new living room, dining room, kitchen and another dining area will be open. But every wall had to be rebuilt. The foundation had to be repaired. The sill that the house sits on had to be fortified. And the house had to be jacked and leveled. The construction spilled upstairs to the bedroom above the kitchen and into the basement and original living room.

Another view of the demolition of the ceiling.

And another view.

We had no choice but to continue with the ceiling demolition while the house was closed. But if we have to do more ceilings in the future, I will need to leave or we will do it in the summer.

Besides a century of filth, the plaster was hiding mouse and squirrel scat.

I am so grateful to my husband for cleaning up the filth that was in the house. I always wondered why I was sick more often here in Vermont but never ever sick in New Hampshire. Now we know why.

The original wiring under the 2nd floor joists with the original porcelain hardware to guide the wires.

We found wonderful artifacts inside the walls, including newspapers and porcelain devices for wiring the walls early in the last century. We found how the original house was originally laid out in four rooms downstairs with different window configurations.

>If only the succeeding "electricians" had been as neat as the original electricians.

More photos in the future will show you how the kitchen has evolved!

If you ever have a choice of living in a house while this is going on or of temporarily moving somewhere else . . . MOVE!

_/\_/\_

LOL Cat Bible: Lectionary Readings for Sunday, January 16, 2011

Sunday, January 16, 2011

Isaiah 49:1-7
Psalm 40:1-11
1 Corinthians 1:1-9
John 1:29-42

 

Psalm 40 4 Teh Directa of Teh Music. A Psalm ov David 1 iz waiting fur teh ceiling cat; tearz is on mai cheekz an he sez "oh, hai!" 2 he lifts mi out of durty litturs box an putz me on teh kichun florr 3 he putz new meow in mai mouf, meow of praiz fo’ he. allz will see an leep an curlz up in da lap of he. 4 warm is teh cat who make he hiz lap, doez no fear teh dogz, t’ tho wo purrz to ‘tend sky hol. 5 mahni, o cat mi cat, ar teh wonderz yeh hav dun. teh th’ngz yeh plan’d fer uz no un can recon to yeh; wer mi to meow an tellz of tehm, tehy wud be too mani meowz. 6 let looze an offer’ng yeh didnz desire, buh mi nailz yeh haf clip’d; burnt ofr’ngz an s’n offer’ngz yeh didnz make rulez ov. 7 Den i sed, "her im, i has come - It written bout me in da scroll. 8 i desire 2 do ur will, o mah ceilin cat; Ur law iz within mah hart." 9 i proclaim righteousnes in da great assembly; I no seal mah lips, As u knoe, o lord. 10 i no hide ur righteousnes in mah hart; I speek ov ur faithfulnes an salvashun. I no conceal ur luv an ur truth Frum teh great assembly. 11 do not withhold ur mercy frum me, o lord; Cud ur luv an ur truth always protect me. 12 4 troublez without numbr surround me; Mah sins has overtaken me, an i cant c. They r moar than teh hairs ov mah head, An mah hart fails within me. 13 be pleezd, o lord, 2 save me; O lord, come quickly 2 halp me. 14 cud all hoo seek 2 taek mah life Be put 2 shame an confushun; Cud all hoo desire mah ruin Be turnd bak in disgrace. 15 cud dose hoo say 2 me, "aha! Aha!" Be appalld at their own shame. 16 but cud all hoo seek u Rejoice an be glad in u; Cud dose hoo luv ur salvashun always say, "teh lord be exaltd!" 17 yet im poor an needy; Cud teh lord finkz ov me. U r mah halp an mah deliverr; O mah ceilin cat, do not delay.

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1 Corinthians 1:1-9

O HAI
1 Dis is lettur frem Paul, frienz wif happy cat, an cieling cat sai hai, an mei brofer tew!
2 To de box of ceiling cat that is ovr ther wher u ar, an to all dat is bff wit happy cat and miau to him and stufz.
3 Noms and sleepz to u saiz happy cat!

THNX
4 I thnx ceiling cat fur all teh happies
5 becuz now u has lotz of cheezburgers an can miau relly cute an open dors and stufz.
6 Becuz ur srsly frienz wif happy cat
7 he saiz do awsom stufz now and he coem later.
8 He also sai dnt wurry, even if u scratch teh sofa, iz ok.
9 Ceiling cat dont run off, an he sais u an happy cat is frienz forevur!!

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John 1:29-42

Ceiling Catz Shepe Happy Cat
29 Next dai John seed Happy Cat . Sez "O hai Ceiling Catz shepe. Him fix invisibul error!!!1!
30 Tihs gai ai sed folowz me.
31 Ai washt peepz wit water (WTF??!1! Srsly) so Israel ppl no him."
32 John sez "Invisible Cat caem an stuck to him.
33 Invisibul Cat proovs
34 I seed an I no him is Ceiling Catz Kitteh!!!1!"

Happy Cat Noo Posse
35 Next dai John seed Happy Cat.
36 Sez "O hai Ceiling Catz shepe" (agin lol)
37 Hiz ppl heerd him. Tehy stalk Happy Cat.
38 Happy Cat seed tehm sed "Oh hai, sup?" They sed "Oh hay Teachr, ware ur place?"
39 Him sai ovr heer. So they chillt wit him an eated cheezburgrz.
40 Andrew was 1 those gais.
41 Andrew telled his brother Simon "Oh hai we found teh Chozen Wan. He was behind teh sofa."
42 They went to saw Happy Cat an he sed "Yu Simon. I cal yu Rocky LOL."

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Weekend Cat Blogging
(see the week’s& host to enter your WCB post in the comments for the weekend roundup)

The Carnival of the Cats
(submit your post here)

Ree-purrted by KC

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A Christmas Cactus

Schlumbergera bridgesii

We recently learned that the Christmas cactus at the library may be fifty years old. It is very large and has thick woody stems in the pot. This year the cactus bloomed for Christmas, and since I have a very small, young Christmas cactus that did not bloom, I decided to learn how to get it to bloom for next Christmas

Fortunately, the book I was currently reading, A Field Guide to the Familiar: Learning to Observe the Natural World by Gale Lawrence, has a short chapter on Christmas cactus. She says that the scientific name for the cactus is Schlumbergera bridgesii. If you search the Internet for this, you find that there are other species of plants called Christmas cactus with different scientific names. I am going to stick with her designation.

Ignoring for now the interesting information about Christmas cacti that Lawrence has in her book, I'll only quote her paragraph on getting the cactus to bloom for Christmas:

.....you must slow down your watering in September, giving your plant just enough water to keep it from shriveling and allowing it to rest for six to eight weeks. If you have a room that doesn't get used after dark in the fall, you can station the resting plant there. Otherwise you'll have to cover it each evening to assure it at least thirteen hours of uninterrupted darkness. If you can't control the light, perhaps you can manipulate the temperature. At a cool 50-55°F (10-13°C), the Christmas cactus will produce buds no matter how much light it gets.

December 3, 2010

I moved my cactus into our bedroom because it is unheated. I did not control the light and I did not moderate the temperature — and I have no blossoms. Next year I will do the right thing.

December 15, 2010

Gale Lawrence retired from UVM and developed two web sites. They have not been updated since the early 2000s, but are worth looking at. She also has links to other natural history books and sites. Visit her at The Naturalist's Almanac and Book of Days and at The Vermont Almanac. Lawrence is the author of four books and two of them are at the Barton Public Library.

My Christmas Cactus Set on Flickr

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Two Viburnums

America Cranberrybush (Viburnum opulus var. americanum)

There are two Viburnums in the woods: the hobblebush and the highbush cranberry. They have similar, but distinctive leaves, are both shrubs and both have red berries in late summer and red leaves in the fall. Hobblebush is so plentiful in the woods that the young shoots look like ground cover and we did not identify it for months. The highbush cranberry is not as plentiful as the hobblebush but looks so similar that we became confused. John and I have finally identified each plant and sorted out the photographs of each.

Hobblebush (Viburnum lantanoides)

You can see the differences and similarities of the two species in the photos. The leaves are distinctive: the hobblebush highbush cranberry leaves look like maple leaves. The berries are very similar, also.

I found that Viburnum is now a popular landscaping shrub. They are from the honeysuckle family, change colors in the fall and make berries for the birds that winter with you. The USDA Natural Resources Conservation Service states "American cranberrybush is a good wildlife food and cover plant for small mammals and birds. Twigs are eaten by deer, moose and beaver. Fruits are a staple winter food for ruffed grouse and are eaten sparingly by pheasants and at least five species of songbirds. Humans find the fruit tart but edible and excellent as a preserve or sauce." The same can be said of the hobblebush, whose "branches often bend and take root, tripping or hobbling passers-by; hence its common name." (source: Lady Bird Johnson Wildflower Center) There are many beautiful species for all different planting zones. Some look like hydrangeas. There are over 150 species and almost all of them are in North America.

Here are links for information and photographs about these two species of Viburnum:
  A great introductory gardening guide is here.
  USDA American cranberrybush profile
  USDA hobblebush profile
  My hobblebush photos on Flickr
  My American cranberrybush photos on Flickr

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LOL Cat Bible: Lectionary Readings for Sunday, January 9, 2011

Sunday, January 9, 2011
First Sunday after the Epiphany

Isaiah 42:1-9
Psalm 29
Acts 10:34-43
Matthew 3:13-17

 

Isaiah 42:1-9

Teh Survint of Ceiling Cat 1 "Heer is mi survint, whoom I are upholdz, mi choosended one in whoom I are deelite; I wil putz mi Spirits on himm n him wil are bringded justis 2 teh nashuns. Srsly. 2 Him are wil dont beens shouted or has a cri outt, or raez him voiss in teh streetz. 3 A broosed reed he wil dont are brokded, n a smolderin wik he wil dont are snuffed out. In fathefulllnis he wil is bringded forf justis; 4 he wil dont aer faultered or b discurajed till he are istablished justis on teh erffs. In him law teh ilindz wil put der hoep." 5 dis is wat Ceiling Cat are sezed. Srsly— he hoo are creatided teh hevanz n are strecheded dem out, hoo spred out teh erffz n al dat aer coemed out uv it, hoo givezed breff 2 its pplz, n life 2 dose hoo are wok on it: 6 "I, Ceiling Cat, are has calleded u in ritechusnis; I wil are taked hold ov ur hand. I wil keepded u nd wil maked ur 2 b a cuvnint 4 teh pplz, n a liet 4 teh jentilz, 7 2 opin eyz dat has a blinded, 2 free sum captivz from prizun n 2 reelees from teh dunjun dose hoo are sitz in teh darknisz. Srsly. 8 "Ize teh LRD; dat iz meh namez! I wil nott are givez meh glori 2 anuder or meh praze 2 idullz. Srsly. 9 Se, teh formir tingz hav tookded place, n nu tingz I are been deeclairded; b4 dey aer springz intu bein I are annownce dem 2 u. Srsly."

Psalm 29 1 David has teh Psalm. Give cheezburger to Ceiling Cat, he iz teh l33t, give Ceiling Cat teh gl0ry An grace. 2 Give cheezburgerz to teh Ceiling Cat cuz of his name, lol, an has beautiez as u praize his name. 3 Teh meow of teh Ceiling Cat is teh meow of teh waterz! (He has teh voice of all of teh waterz, tho kittehs DO NOT WANT water.) 4 Teh meow of teh Ceiling Cat is purrty an powerful. 5 Teh meow of teh Ceiling Cat maeked kitteh tree fall down; it maeked teh kitteh trees of Lebanon go boom. 6 He maeked dem to skip like teh bby cowz; Lebanon an Sirion like teh l33t unicornz. 7 Teh meow of teh Ceiling Cat parted teh fire, lol! 8 Teh meow of teh Ceiling Cat maeked teh treez dance lyk WOAH, espeshully in Kadesh, cuz they is speshull kittehs. 9 Teh meow of teh Ceiling Cat maeked teh hinds to calve? an discovr teh forestz of l33t! In teh litter box, lol, evry kitteh meow Ceiling Cat's glory! 10 Teh Ceiling Cat sit on teh flood (cuz little kittehs DO NOT WANT teh floodz); w00t, teh Ceiling Cat be teh Lord forevrz. 11 Teh Ceiling Cat give teh catnip to teh kittehs; teh Ceiling Cat gives teh blessings of teh catnip to his kittehs an givez dem teh peaces.

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Acts 10

CATNELIUS IZ LIEK "I CAN HAZ PETER?"
1 At Cezarea der wuz a d00d naemd Catnelius n he wuz da "big cat" in da Regimans.
2 He n hiz famileh luvd Ceiling Cat n talkd 2 him daileh n gave cookiez to kittehs who wuz liek "I has be in need."
3 One dai durin kitteh litter time he sees sum craezy-azz vishuns.
4 Catnelius wuz liek "oh shaet LOL"
5 Teh anjul sed "Ur praers n cookiez has be a memorial offerin 2 da Ceiling Cat.
6 Now send sum peeps 2 git Simon (most catz call em Peter, idk y).
7 Ya git hiz azz ova hear."
8 Wen teh anjul lef Catnelius got 2 d00ds n a Gawd-freain soulja. H gaev em teh dirt on Ceiling Cat n send em 2 Joppa.

TEH TRIPPEH VIJUNS OF PETER
9 Teh nex dai Peter wuz talkn 2 Ceiling Cat on teh roof.
10 Den he sez "I has hunger n I want sumtin 2 eatz."
11 He saw a big sheet like peepz hav on deir bedz.
12 It has animulz on its wit teh 4 feetz.
13 Den a voice (Ceiling Catz I think) sez 2 Pete, "Git up, Peter. Can has cheezburger."
14 Peter sez, "uh-uh, Loard, I dont eatz teh unclaen."
15 Den God wuz piszed n hes liek, "Do not call teh cheezburger unclaen dat I has made claen."
16 Repeat step 13-15 three tiemz.
17 While Petey wuz wunderin bout teh vishunz, sum d00ds is stopped at teh gaet.
18 "Haysup," dey sez, "Were iz Simon (most catz call em Peter but idk why)?"
19 Whiel Pete wuz still thinkin, Ceiling Cat sez "Hay, 3 d00ds r lookin 4 u.20 Git yo azz up n go downstaers."
21 Peter went downstaers n sed "Wut do u want."
22 Dey sez, "We has come from Catnelius da "big cat" from teh Regimans. He iz teh right-ness God-freain d00d. Da Ceilin Cat made uz come get u."
23 Den Pete invite dem 2 hiz litterbox, thx!

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Matthew 3:13-17

Happy Cat gets Water Baf!
13 Den Happy Cat caem from Garary, to has water baf from John
14 But John was all "Ur doin it rong, j00 needz to water baf me"
15 And Happy Cat sayed "STFU and gib to me water baf n00b" and John did.
16 Wen he was gived water baf he gtfo of teh water and, ZOMG, teh ceilinz opened up and Hover Cat caem down liek a duv and landeded on him
17 And, ZOMFGWTF, a voice from heven sayed "Hai guise, dis my son, and I tink he teh 1337."

Weekend Cat Blogging
#292 Jan 8-9 Kashim, Othello and Salome
(see the week’s host to enter your WCB post in the comments for the weekend roundup)

The Carnival of the Cats
#356 – Billy SweetFeets
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_/\_/\_

LOL Cat Bible: Lectionary Readings for January 2, 2011

Sunday, January 2, 2011
Jeremiah 31:7-14 or
Sirach 24:1-12
Psalm 147:12-20 or
Wisdom of Solomon 10:15-21
Ephesians 1:3-14
John 1:(1-9), 10-18

 

Psalm 147 1 Praise Ceiling Cat! Happyz for Ceiling Kitteh is full of win; feelz good, yeah; he deeservs it. 2 Ceiling Cat builds big house: wit lotza cheezburgers n beds n no goggies. Den he bring all teh little kittehs insydez n sez: "Heer, Ai madez dis and gibs dis to you." 3 Dere, dere, not cry, Ceiling Kitteh cleans your boo-boo n givz cookie. lickedy-lick, sad hooman has flavr. 4 All the starz, they iz mine! They called what Ceiling Cat calls'em. Ceiling Kitteh calls'em starz: "mine!" 5 Ceiling Kitteh is allova the ceilling, and seeeeeeeez you dancing. 6 Ceiling Cat lifting heavy sad ppls, but teh ebils no can haz yummy noms. 7 Sing for Ceilling Kitty, hooman, give him bellyrubs; sing and dance, and give moar bellyrubs. 8 He refillz deh cookie platez n makes hoomins buy moar cheezburger. 9 He give noms to da moo cows & deh lowd birdies too. 10 Ceiling kitty no impressed by horseys or strong doods, srsly. 11 Dah Ceiling Cat lovz all kittehs who haz fear of him, And who knowz dat Ceiling Cat haz srs lovez. 12 Praize dah Ceiling Cat, Kittehs. Praize dah Ceiling Cat, Hoomans. 13 Cauze he keeps the bad goggies outsyd n makez dah houze saefr, and givez Itteh Bitteh Kitteh Committehs as gifts. 14 An he givez peece to dah couch, an sendz the bezt of cheezburger to hiz kittehs. 15 Wen he meows or purrz, aminals n hoomins listin. 16 He putz comfy bwankets on teh bed n chuzes da preety colorz in teh houzes. 17 Ceiling Cat maek pillow avalanch cuz no kitteh lieks teh real sno. 18 He sez wen it nyce outside and wen it time for noms. 19 Ceiling Kitteh sez to all deh kittehs be nice to goggie and hoomins n luvs him n all uthr kittehs. 20 Da kittehs r speshul cuz he 'splains dis to dem. Praise Ceiling Kitty and give gushi foods.

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Ephesians 1:3-14

Free stuf frum teh Ceiling Cat
3 Luv teh Ceiling Cat nd Jesus dat givez us teh free stuf.
4 Teh Ceiling Cat pikded us to be teh holey nd gud kittehs.
5 Ceiling Cat adopps uz as teh kittehs thru Jesus cuz he wants to,
6 nd givz us teh Jesus, who he luvs lots.
7 Jesus lets us off teh hook 4 arr invisible errorz.
8 No end of teh good cuz Ceiling Cat has teh brainz.
9 He tellz us evrythin we needs to kno abt, cuz he wantd 2.
10 Nd wen teh time is rddy, its will awl be in wun cookie bag with teh nam uv Jesus awn it.

11 A plan- Ceiling Cat haz it, and choosded us for it. He knos wat hes doin. Srsly.
12 This wai teh Jew kittehs maek Ceiling Cat happy nd they gets saved,
13 nd nao evry1 else has teh life saved 2. We is addoptd 4 real nao, like he promisd.
14 Ceiling Cat buys us so we can has gud stuf.

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John 1:(1-9), 10-18

Teh Cat Macro Becamded Flesh
1 In teh beginz is teh meow, and teh meow sez "Oh hai Ceiling Cat" and teh meow iz teh Ceiling Cat.
2 Teh meow an teh Ceiling Cat iz teh bests frenz in teh begins.
3 Him maeks alls teh cookies; no cookies iz maed wifout him.
4 Him haz teh liefs, an becuz ov teh liefs teh doodz sez "Oh hay lite."
5 Teh lite iz pwns teh darks, but teh darks iz liek "Wtf."
6 And teh Ceiling Cat haz dis otehr man; his naem iz John.
7 He tellz teh ppl dat teh lites is tehre, so dat teh doodz mite bleev"
8 Him wuz not teh lite; he jsut sez teh lites is tehre.
9 Teh tru lite ov lotz of lite wuz comes, k?
10 He iz liek, "Oh hai, I mades u," but teh wurld duznt sees him.
11 He iz comes to his stuffs, but his stuffs sez "Do not want!"
12 And sum guyz did want, and sez "Teh Ceiling Cat pwns," and deez guyz iz liek his kidz—
13 But not liek reel kidz, k? Iz liek teh Ceiling Cats kidz.
14 Teh cat macro comez dwn frm Ceiling (omg) and he is lives wif us. We is sees teh glorie taht is frum teh one n only; him come from teh dad wif teh grace and teh truth.
15 John is liek "Oh hai" becuz uf him. He sez "OMG tihs guy iz teh one taht is comes after me him iz bettr becuz him comes frst, k?"
16 Becuz is a lotz of grayce we can has cheezburgers.
17 Moses is liek "Hay I has teh lawz"; Jebus is has teh grayce and teh trooth.
18 Ceiling Cat is Invisible, but teh one n only (him is wif Ceiling Cat) is liek "Hay look."

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Weekend Cat Blogging
#291 Dec 29-31 New Year’s Edition: Pam at Sidewalkshoes
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The Carnival of the Cats
#355 – Nikita Cat
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