meeyauw: LOL Cat Bible: Lectionary Readings for the Fourth Sunday of Advent, Sunday, December 20, 2009

Saturday, December 19, 2009

LOL Cat Bible: Lectionary Readings for the Fourth Sunday of Advent, Sunday, December 20, 2009

Fourth Sunday of Advent
Sunday, December 20, 2009

Micah 5:2-5a
Luke 1:46b-55 or
Psalm 80:1-7
Hebrews 10:5-10
Luke 1:39-45, (46-55)

Micah 5:2-5a

2 Yu, Bethlehem Ephrathah,
Yur a runt of teh clans of Judah
But srsly, I know wut gunna happen
A LeederKitteh ovah Israel gunna com from yu
An his InsideKitteh gunna be frum old tiems
Srsly

3 Israel gun be lef a orfan
But den a girlkitteh gun haf kitten
An moar broders gunna com bak
An join bak wif teh Israeites

4 Him gun stan an take caer ov hiz kittehs
in teh strongness ov Ceiling Cat,
in teh srlsy grate naem ov Ceiling Cat hiz omg,
An theyz gun haev lotz fud nom nom nom nom an stuf, for den hiz big pwnage
it gun reach to ends ov urths.

5 An him gun maek em all warm an sleepy.

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Luke 1:46b-55
Mary's Song of Praise - the MagnifiCat (srsly)

46 Mary sed "Ceiling Cat is laik a big deal,
47 Mai I is happy about Ceiling Cat...
48 bcz he kepted me in maind an now evribodi knowz i can haz cheezburgr.
49 Thank u Ceiling Cat, u iz cool.
50 U iz niec to evribodi.
51 Xcept peeplz who doant dizrv it LOL.
52 U haz pwned teh r00lrz
whiel stil bein niec to teh n00bz.
53 U givd cookies to teh hungri
whiel u tolded teh rich "Niec trai."
54 U wuz niec to Israel
55 an to all Abraham's famili liek u promist."

Psalm 80

1 Heer us, shepurd of kittehs,
U hu leded Joseph liek herd of shepez;
U hu sitzed neks to teh cherubimimim, shiend on

2 Befur Ephraim, Benjamin an Manasseh.
Waek up, u strongz;
Com an saivz us!

3 Restoar us, Oh pwrful Ceiling Cat;
Maek ur fase shyn on us,
dat we can has savingz n cheezburgrz.

4 Oh hai, Ceiling Cat,
How longs u wil has smoldrin angryz
Aginst teh meows uv ur kittehs?

5 U has maided dem eets sad emo bredz;
U has maided dem drink sad emo watrz.

6 U can has maided us has problms wif teh kittehs neks dor,
An nao ar enuhmees mahkz us, srsly

7 Restoar us, Oh pwrful Ceiling Cat;
Maek ur fase shyn on us,
dat we can has savingz n cheezburgrz.

8 U bringed a vyn out ov Egypt;
U chaesd out teh othr nayshuns an putted it in a hol.

9 U cleerd teh urfs for it,
An it taekd ruut an filded teh hoel yard.

10 Teh mowntinz can has shayd,
Teh big treez can be cuvred wif it, tu.

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11 It sentd out it bahwz to teh big watrz,
It has shuetz as far as teh skinyr watrz over der.

12 Why u has brokded its wals
So dat jus enibudy can has graepses?

13 Baorz frm teh foerst ravgez it
An teh amnals can eatdz it.

14 Ceiling Cat, coem bak!
Luk dwn from hole in ceiling and si!
Watch ovr dis vyn (masturbatin, LOL!),

15 Teh ruut ur riet hand can has plantd,
Teh babee u has raisd up fur urslf.

16 Ur vyn, it r cut dwn, it can be on fyr nao;
At ur rebuk ur peoplz dy, srsly!

17 Ur hand can sits on teh dood at ur riet hand (for hed scratchs tiem, yes?),
Teh sun of manz u can has raisd up fur urslf.

18 Den we wil not turnz awai frm u;
Halp us, an we wil sai ur naemz.

19 Restoar us, Oh pwrful Ceiling Cat;
Maek ur fase shyn on us,
dat we can has savingz n cheezburgrz.

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Hebrews 10:5-10

5 So when Jeebus come, him sez,
"Sacrifice and gifts you DO NOT WANT, but u makes me a bodi;
6 burnded offerings n sin offerings no makes u happi.
7 Den I sez, 'Iz here - i has own thread in forum - I do wut u sez, Ceiling Cat.'"
8 Furst him sez, "Sakrificez and gifts, burnded ofrings n sin ofrings no makes u happi" (But da rulz sez u must has dem).
9 Den him sez, "I'z here, I do wut u sez." He pwns 1st to make 2th.
10 An so we iz holee bcuz Jeebus giv last sacrifice. Srsly.

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Luke 1:39-45
Mary vizitz Elizabeth

41 When Elizabeth hurd dat, teh kittn insied her gotted all excitd.
42 Elizabeth wuz all "Ceiling Cat givz u cheezburgr, an he givz ur kittn cheezburgr too.
43 I iz lucki dat teh mothr of mai Lord comed to see me.
44 Jus look at what mai kittn did when he heared u.
45 If u beleev dat what Ceiling Cat sed to u wil come true, u can haz cheezburgr."