meeyauw: LOL Cat Bible: Lectionary Readings for Sunday, February 6, 2011

Tuesday, February 08, 2011

LOL Cat Bible: Lectionary Readings for Sunday, February 6, 2011

Sunday, February 6, 2011

Isaiah 58:1-9a (9b-12)
Psalm 112:1-9 (10)
1 Corinthians 2:1-12 (13-16)
Matthew 5:13-20

Isaiah 58

1 Yu shud meow lotz cuz ya liek yu needa tell teh noobz there dumb.
2 Thar ahweyz lukin foar meh an liek but dat wuz before wen thay wuzent ghey.

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Psalm 112

1 Praise Ceiling Cat! Blessed iz teh kitteh dat fears Ceiling Cat, who taeks heppehs in teh commandments!
2 His kittehs will be pumpeded wif katnip an shall p0wnz0rz da backyard, an the shall be kick ass.
3 Ceiling Cat iz liek rich an stufs, an him iz liek always gude.
4 He turns on teh light cause iz dark; him iz liek rly nice.
5 It iz wail when yoos rubs a humins legs an him scratcha an feeds yu.
6 For dah gude kittehs wills eva be fogottans.
7 Him noes fraid uf bad nuse.
8 His hart iz stedy; him will be no fraid, til he seez teh doggies.
9 Him has gives many cheezburgers to dah houseless kittehs; him shall beez rewardeds.
10 Teh bad kitteh seez teh gude kitteh ina his home an gnashes his teefs an goes away; gude kitteh lievs, bad kitteh gets wet.

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1 Corinthians 2:1-12 (13-16)

1 Dear humainz, I will you to my words, but I cant spellz.
2 UM, Jezus knows I is a fine talker.
3 I come tuz ya like all shakin' like a liefs an' stuff,
4 and I didnts sound intelligunt, but had enough holy-skillz,
5 dat you knows 2 trusts holy-skills and not wisedom.

1 7You beez talkin about Cat in the ceillings wizedom. He knows how many times u fap before all fails.
6 sumz of us is wise though, but not like age-wise and shit.
8 Jesus was nail to teh crossed cuz presidents were nubs.

9 Cat in teh ceilling iz acceptings of any fapper, even nubz.
10 the Cat in the ceilling macros all in holy-faggotry, even himself.
11 Humanz can fap much like Cat in the ceiling watches u fap--even when there is no hole.
12 Cuz Ceiling Cat watches you, you'll fap quicker than peeps who isn't being watch.
13 Fapthrens, We are not speaked in right words, but in lolz.
14 Peepz who isn't got ceilings isn't understooding of me.
15 If u beleived what I says, WOOT!

16 If nubz isnt beleived Ceiling Cat, copy paste mah macroz, lol.

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Matthew 5:13-20

Teh Cheezburgerz and teh meme
13 u r teh cheezburgerz. if cheezburgerz haz no cheez, taste bad. trashcat can has it.
14 u r teh meme of teh internet. lolcat pic online iz not invizible.
15 emos dont frendslock lj posts. tehy post public 4 all teh internetz.
16 u 2 post lolcat pic online so internetz is liek "OMG! ur so k00l! Ceiling Cat rockz!"
17 dont break law. im in ur urfs fulfillin ur propheciez
18 iz all true. srsly. law iz not deleted
19 if u break law, no can has cheezburger. if u teach law, can has lotz cookiez
20 u b good kittehz or Ceiling Cat is liek "bad kittehz! u can not has mi pad!"

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