Sunday, December 12, 2010

LOL Cat Bible: Lectionary Readings for the Third Sunday of Advent, December 12, 2010

Third Sunday of Advent
December 12, 2010

Isaiah 35:1-10
Psalm 146:5-10
or Luke 1:46b-55
James 5:7-10
Matthew 11:2-11

Isaiah 35: 1-10

1 Teh outside iz gud for dem an teh plants will grow
2 Dey shall blosom an look at teh wunderz of teh Hover Cat cuz he iz teh pwnz0r
3 Dis will mak kittens strong
4 So dey are not scareded cuz teh Hover Cat comez comez wif vengeance to save littel kittens hoo r scareded.
5 Den teh blind will see teh uber Urf and teh deaf will hear teh sound ov teh birds up in sky (an sum hoo cant fly) and teh sound of teh moomoo cows.
6 Den teh kittens shall jump an watr be in teh sandy parts ov teh Urf
7 Grass shall grow thru teh ground an watr will gush an kittens has lotz da cheezcake.
8 An the holy wai wuz thar. Only gud kittehs will pass thru, an teh naughty kittehs will be rejected.
9 Teh bad kittehs an monstrs can not pass but teh gud ones will will walk thur.
10 Thur wil be many cheezecaek thur for dose hoo can pass wer all teh bad thoughts be gone an dey can be happy.

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Psalm 146

1 Praise Ceiling Cat
     Praise Ceiling Cat, o mai sole
2 I iz in mai life praisin Ceiling Cat all teh timez
     I iz singin to Ceiling Cat all mai life
3 Don't be in ur base trustin ur princez
     Cuz they iz gunna die an can't do nuffin
4 When their spirits iz in teh sky returning to teh urfs
     They is nuffin
5 If u gets Ceiling Cat to help you can haz cheezburger
6 Teh lolcoder of Ceiling and urfs
     teh watres and teh fishes
7 He lets hungry kittehs has sammiches
8 Ceiling Cat maikz teh blind kittehs can see
     Ceiling Cat liftz up kittehs on 4 legz
     Ceiling Cat <3 teh right handed
9 ZOMG Ceiling Cat has seen UFO LOL an DO NOT WANT evil kittehs so he maikz dem DO NOT WANT
10 Ceiling Cat is watching you masturbate forever
    Can he haz cheezburger?

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Luke 1: 46-55

Mary's Song of Praise - the MagnifiCat (srsly)

46 Mary sed "Ceiling Cat is laik a big deal,
47 Mai I is happy about Ceiling Cat...
48 bcz he kepted me in maind an now evribodi knowz i can haz cheezburgr.
49 Thank u Ceiling Cat, u iz cool.
50 U iz niec to evribodi.
51 Xcept peeplz who doant dizrv it LOL.
52 U haz pwned teh r00lrz whiel stil bein niec to teh n00bz.
53 U givd cookies to teh hungri whiel u tolded teh rich "Niec trai."
54 U wuz niec to Israel 55 an to all Abraham's famili liek u promist."

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James 5: 7-10

Payshuns
7 Chill kittehs, Ceiling Cat iz coming. See how teh LOLrus wait for teh bukkit?
8 Be payshunt nd wait 4 teh Ceiling Cat, he brings yu teh cheezburgers soon.
9 No fighting whiel yu waitz, or Ceiling Cat bringz teh lazer eyes. Teh Lazer Eyer is almost here!
10 Be payshunt liek teh old kittehs who said teh FAQ.

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Matthew 11: 2-11

2 Now when liek John had hearded in teh place where u go if u liek preak teh rules, and ai mean really break em in teah works of Christ, he sended two of him disciples through teh ineternets,
3 And say to his, is u he that is to come, or does we sees another?
4 Jeus answered him and liek say to his, Go and show John more of teh tings you've seen and heard:
5 Teh no seeing gets some seeing, and teh no walk get walk, teah nasty, come clean, and teh no hear hear, teh no live come live, and teh poor have teh gospel preached to tem.
6 And goodly good in life are he, who will not be offended in my.
7 And as tey leaved, Jesus begun ta sez to teh many worring bout John, Wat gone yuz out into teh wildy to see? sees, tey tat were nice softly soft clothing are in head royal ppls hoze.
8 But wat goned yu oust fur to see? A good guy that sez da truf? Yes, ai sez to yuz, and more tan a profat.
9 But wat goned u oust fur too see? Yessum. A Seercat. Yes. ai saz to yuz, and more tan a Profat.
10 Fur dis are him, of who'd it r wroted. Looki, ai sent my meszage guy in ur face, I'll put yur idea nfront of yuz.
11 Importantly ai saz to u, wif teh kittehs of normaled woman wil raiz a great cat John teh Washerer : teh guy dat lowerest in teh kingdom of Ceiling. Srsly

Weekend Cat Events

Weekend Cat Blogging
#288 Dec 10-12 Salome at Paulchens FoodBlog?! stepping in for Breadchick and LB at The Sour Dough
(see the week’s host to enter your WCB post in the comments for the weekend roundup)

Bad Kitty Cats Festival of Chaos
Optional Theme
(submit your post here)

The Carnival of the Cats
#352 – Mind of Mog
(submit your post here)

Ree-purrted by KC

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