Sunday, April 26, 2009

Activity at Beaver Pond 5

We climbed down Willoughby Lake Road to look at the new beaver activity on pond 5 of May Brook. They have cut down trees on both sides of the brook, enlarged the dam, and even built a new lodge right on the river bank! Above you see the lodge from the side and below you see it from behind.

Here is the old mill house at the top of an abandoned human mill and cement dam that the beavers have dammed up. The water was high the weekend of April 4.

Above you see the pond above the millhouse as seen from the beaver lodge.

This photo above is of beaver teeth marks on a standing tree.
Below you see examples of trees that are no longer standing.



Above: the grove on the brook is being systematically logged by the beaver on both sides of the brook.

John found this folding ruler by the side of the new lodge. The ruler was metric. Which confirms what we all suspected: these are Canadian beaver!
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A White Flag

We saw this whitetail doe at John's a few weeks ago. You can see that her white flag is very fluffy and large (I've never seen deer tails this big). This may be a sexual display during mating season.

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No More Dates

funny pictures of cats with captions
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LOL Cat Bible: Lectionary Readings for the Third Sunday of Easter

Third Sunday of Easter
Zephaniah 3.14–end
Acts 3.12–19
Psalm 4
1 John 3.1–7
Luke 24.36b–48


Zephaniah 3.14–end

14 Meow, first filial female of Zion; RAWR Itzreal?; drool like old man in full wet diaper, first filial female of Jouslum.
15 Sky Catz is not judge judy, gone fishing for enemas: Big Kahuna of Itzreal?, and Sky Catz is in the house, d00dz: Srsly, I poked you in the eyes again.
16 Then yammered to Jouslum, RAWR NO MORE: and to Zion, STIFF LITTLE FINGERS rocks!!
17 Teh Sky Catz thy Ceiling Cat has big strong wind; Cats rock, Cats happy; Catnap with affection and meow with glee.
18 Me gets many many whining catz, d00dz crying, too heavy to carry.
19 Lookey, me take back furball: me gets gurlz standing by lamp post, drives her to meeting; Yo! you cheer for me in all litterboxz where doo doo sits and smells.
20 Tehn me meows, me gets you; me calls you something-or-other and meows to all Catz of Urth, me puts you in Cat carrier and pokes your eyes, meows the Sky Catz, srsly.
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Acts 3.12–19

12 Den Peter gose in anoder long speech cuz him lik talkin, an him sed: "Hey jookittehs! Yu are suwpwised? LOL, ur stoopid. Wai yu lukin at us lik we madeded him walk lik diz all on ouwah own? LOL, stoopid!
13 Yu kno dat kitteh yu madeded ded wit teh name of Baby Jesus?
14 Haha, yu gots pwned. Dood, him wuz Holiez and teh Ritchus Wun, srsly! Insted yu let diz bad kitteh go! LOL!
15 Dood, Baby Jesus wuz all lik teh maker of cat macrows, srsly! Dun wry, Ceiling Cat makeded him com back to teh lif!
16 An cuz dis ex-lamez0r kitteh haf faif in Baby Jesus dat him heelded! Rly! Yu haf eyez, see?!
17 Nao, is okai. Yu wer stoopid and stufz. Ur alfa kittehz wer stoopid too.
18 An dun wry. Ceiling Cat yoosed yu! LOL! Ceiling Cat wuz in ur akshuns, fulfillin profisies!
19 Yu rly needz to tern to teh Ceiling Cat an can has reepentz. Him mek yu INVISIBLE ERROR even MOAR INVISIBLE. Rly! Him can do dat.

Psalm 4

1 Hai Ceiling Cat!
Lissen, K?

2 Hay kittehs, why u no liek me?
U leiks total junk stuffs!

3 Ceiling Cat keeps the gud kittehs safe!

4 U haz teh shakez,
so be good, K?
U should totelly liek shut up n think!

5 Ceiling Cat is wachin u too!1!111
oh noes!

6 And theyz all liek,
"Invisible Ceiling Cat!"

7 I iz happi,
even more then when
they has teh cheezburger.

8 I gunna go to bed now,
u watch me, K?
Kthxbye!



1 John 3.1–7

1 Hoewz grait iz teh luv teh Father haz lavizhd on uz, dat we is be called childz ov Ceiling Cat! And dat is wut we r! Teh reazonz teh wurldz does not be knowingz us iz dat it is be not know him.
2 Der fwiendz, now we iz be childrenz of Ceiling Cat, and wut we will be haz not being maded known. But we iz b knowing dat wen he apyrz, we shal be like him, coz we shall seez him as he is be being.
3 Evry1 hu is be haz dis hope in him purifyz himzself, juzt az he is being purez n stuff.
4 Evry1 hu sinz brakez teh law; in fakt, sinz is lawzlesnesss.
5 But u know dat he apyrd so dat he mite takez our sinz and giv us cookies! And in him iz be no sinz. No1 hu livz in him sinz.
6 No1 hu sinz haz teh seen him or knownz him.
7 Deerz childrnz, du nit let pplz leed u astray wiv cookies. He hu is be doing wut iz rite iz richus, juzt as he is be richus.

Luke 24.36b–48

36 OK so de apoceclipse iz together, and Jesus Kat is poof appear liek lazerz and sed "Peaz."
37 They is all liek "hax!"
38 Jesus iz liek "wtf nubs is me."
39 Disciplines is liek "o rly!" and Jesus is liek "ya rly."
40 Jesus is liek "srlsly guys. Stil me even if Iz gots wholes in handz and feetz.
41 Dey still not get it, so Jesus is liek "It can haz be food times now?"
42 Teh Apostasis is liek "here haz fish"
43 Jesus is like "kkthx" and eated teh fish. Thiz time he not makez lots of fishes an bread fer sandwhichez prolly cuz dere not enuff mayo.
44 Jesus is liek "nubs I told joo. it was writed."
45 Den Jesus is liek "I open ur minds."
46 Jesus is liek "srsly. That book sed teh rescuer, which iz me guyz!! gets hurtz lotz and standz up even thoug ded."
47 "Also go tell guyz bout peas with mah namez." They look all confuz by dis, cuz peaz really small.
48 He is liek "u r all being teh witnesses, witch meanz guyz dat lookz at stuff." They did caz dey haf eyez.



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Tuesday, April 21, 2009

Building Bluebird Houses

Last Saturday, John made four bluebird houses while I photographed. They are gifts for some very special people. They are based on plans found at www.allwoodwork.com/plans/bluebird.htm. Above, John is measuring and cutting the side and top pieces.

Cutting the back piece.

Assembling all the pieces.
Below: a finished house.
The next time we will add hinged doors.
Then we will build bat houses!

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LOL of the Day

funny pictures of cats with captions
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Sunday, April 19, 2009

LOL Cat Bible: Lectionary Readings for the Second Sunday of Easter

Second Sunday of Easter
Exodus 14.10–end; 15.20–21
Acts 4.32–35†
Psalm 133
1 John 1.1—2.2
John 20.19–end


Exodus 14.10–end; 15.20–21

10 Tehn teh Irsaaiels sawd Egipshins and wer all, "OMFG@!!!"
11 So teh Isrealights were ril madd @ Mosis b/c tehy didint want 2 dei! tehy all "wy we hafta dei heer?!?! we wooda deid in egypp anywai."
12 Tehy wud rathur do evrything 4 the egipshins then dei!!! Right??
13 So Mosis sed "OMG CHILLOUT! Ceiling Cat sez wer ttly OK. u no see gypshuns nemor.
14 "Ceiling Cat will gives u cheezburgers! I promis u all! dun moov!"
15 So Ceiling Cat sez "wy u all scard An axkin fer help? keep moovin.
16 holdz up ur big stik over teh see. teh see will splitz apart, leik srsly! An u An teh Izrelites can walks on grownd An not get wet becuz DO NOT WANT!!1!
17 An cuz teh gypshuns, tehy stubrn, tehy chayse u. but I wil pwnz dem all.
18 An aftur pwnzing, teh gypshuns kno I is Ceiling Cat."
19 So teh big clowd taht wuz Ceiling Cat wuz in frunt but it movd 2 teh bak. it movd
20 so it wer btween teh gypshuns An teh Izrelites. An teh clowd wuz dark scarei clowd fur teh gypshuns, but wuz nyse hapei clowd fur teh Izrel d00ds. An teh armeis no can see cuz it wer dark (cept 4 kitties cuz dey cn C in dark).
21 Moses put his han ovur teh see, An Ceiling Cat mayk big wind that blowd see all nite till see wuz drei lan so kitties no get wet. teh waterz wer dvided.
22 Teh izrelites crosd see on drei urth an no get wet. but tehr wuz walls o water on teh sieds.
23 But teh gypshuns An teh charyots chaysd tehm OMG!!
24 Tehn, rite be4 sun caym up, Ceiling Cat lookd at teh gypshuns An he pwnzd dem so dey freekd ouwt.
25 An teh weelz ov teh charyots wuz stuk an not moov gud. teh gypshuns sed "Ceiling Cat fites 4 justis 4 teh izrelites, An he no leik us. we shud skedaddlz, leik srsly."
26 Ceiling Cat sed 2 moses: "hold ur han ovur teh see, An teh waterz, tehy cum bak An coverz teh gypshuns."
27 so moses hold hiz han ovur teh see, An teh waterz go bak 2 normul. teh gypshuns treid 2 run awai, but Ceiling Cat frew dem in2 teh see.
28 Teh waterz coverd teh charyots An all teh gypshun armei d00ds. leik srsly. not evun 1 gypshun cud excayp teh waterz.
29 But teh izrelites, tehy crosd see on drei urth an no get wet An tehr wuz walls o water on teh sides 4 dem.
30 So Ceiling Cat savd teh izrel peepz taht dey. An teh izrelites seed teh gypshuns ded on teh beech.
31 an teh izrelites seed taht Ceiling Cat can pwn gypshuns, An tehy leik "wow taht be awsm!!" An tehy bleev Ceiling Cat An moses.

20 Miriam, sis of Aaron An Moses, took teh tambreen, An teh laydeez go aftur her. Teh laydeez had tambreens too An tehy dansd.
21 An Miriam sanga song to tehm lyk this:
"Singa song to Ceiling Cat, cuz he wins teh day;
he frew teh gypshuns in2 teh see."
Miriam singa short song.

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Acts 4.32–35†
Teh Buhweevahs Wer Like Commiez, LOL

32 Dood, teh kittehs shaird, srsly. All ov it.
33 An teh apawsals kept tawkin bout Baby Jesus all teh time an it wuz so good
34 dat all teh kittehs had plenti of cheezburgers an cookiez, rly. An sumtiems teh kittehs sowd all dey ownd
35 an dey put it at teh apawsals paws an dey took it an gav it to kittehs witout stuff. It wuz so awsum, lol.

Psalm 133

1 Behold, how gud an how plezent eet ees fur cafren to dfell togefa in uniteh!
2 Eet ees lik teh precioussssss oinkment upon teh hed, fat ran down upon teh beard, even Aaron's beard: dat went down to the skirts of his garments;
3 As teh dew of Hermon, an as teh dew dat desended upon teh mountains ov Zion: for dere teh LORD commanded teh blessing, even life for evermur.

1 John 1.1—2.2
Word of Lief

1 K so thsi iz bout Word of Lief whihc waz from beginin n we herd n saw wiht ar aiz n tuchd wiht ar pawz
2 An Lief waz reveeld, n we saw n wer liek "OMG LOOK AT" n we dugg it n rote in hedlien "ETEARNL LIEF WIT FAHTER AND WAZ REVEELD 4 US!!!1"
3 No Rly, It tru!!!
4 Is ROFLCOPTER awsom!

Ceiling Cat is lyte
5 Baby Jebus sais Ceiling Cat is made of win, he cannot has failz.
6 If you be down wit Ceiling Cat but has failz, u fail alwayz.
7 But if u be down wit Ceiling Cat and haz win, you can has baff wit Baby Jeezuz and cleaneded all ur evulz.
8 you all has evulz, +1 truth.
9 Telded the Ceiling Cat bout ur evulz and he will be leik iz OK datz kewl.
10 Donut be tellin leiz to Ceiling Cat.

Baby Jeezed helpded us
1 Lissen kidz, I be tellinz u to not dos thoz invisibuhl evils. Buht if u do thoz invisibuhl evils anywayz, Bebeh Jebus, he tellz teh Ceiling Cat taht u rly be gud.
2 An Bebeh Jebus, he be tellin Ceiling Cat for everywunz! Not jus for u, but for teh whole world!

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John 20.19–end
Da Desipuls Seez Happy Cat

19 On teh evening ov dat first day ov teh week, wen teh desipuls were togetehr, wif teh doors locked fer fear ov teh Joos, Happy Cat caem n stood wit dem n seded, "purring fil u!"
20 After him seded dis, him showed dem him hns n side. Teh desipuls were ovurjoyed wen dey see teh Happy Cat.
21 A gain Happy Cat seded, "purring fil u! As teh Ceiling Cat has sent meh, Iz sending u."
22 N wif dat him breeatedhd on dem n seded, "Smell teh Hover Cat, un eat".
23 If u fergive catz wen dey eat ur cookie, dey are fergiven; if u dun fergive dem, dey are not fergiven."

Thomascat Seez Happy Cat
24 Now Thomascat (called 2catymus), one ov teh Twelf, was not wif teh desipuls wen Happy Cat caem.
25 So teh otehr desipuls told him, "OMG We haf seen teh Ceiling Cat’s Kitten!" But him seded to dem, "His wounz--show dem to me."
26 Later him desipuls iz in teh house a gain, n Thomascat was wif dem. Though teh doors were locked, but Happy Cat waz liek "Oh hai! Purring fil u!"
27 Den him seded to Thomascat, "My wounz--let me show u them. Srsly."
28 Thomascat seded to him, "OMG! U rulz!"
29 Den Happy Cat told him, "Becuz u sees meh, u haf bleevs, iz gud; but iz moar bettr if u dun sees me n stil bleeve."
30 BTW: Happy Cat does a lotz moar big tings n of teh otehr stuffs, n I rites dem daown, but I eated dem.
31 But I dun eated dees stuffs, so u kin bleeve Happy Cat is Ceiling Cat's kitty n haf teh lifes, k?



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Sunday, April 12, 2009

Signs of Spring: Canada Geese

It's a glorious morning when you hear your geese honking in the bog. They came back last weekend and are still here, so I will assume they are the breeding pair that has been here the past two summers. John saw a third goose fly in and be beaten off.

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Acrophobia

We had a state mathematics network meeting at Vermont College in Montpelier. The stairs up to one session were very steep. The problem was going down: even holding onto the railing with both hands I felt as if i was going to fly off into space. But I made it down safely.
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Wild Edibles: Oyster Mushrooms

On Burton Hill Road last Sunday, John spied these oyster mushrooms (shitake mushrooms) growing on sugar maples. They find damaged spots on the tree and grow under the bark, as you can see here. You typically harvest these mushrooms in early September or before the first frost.

In the links that I read, I found that these mushrooms have cancer fighting properties and can also reduce cholesterol. I guess I should include them in my cooking (which John does habitually).

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Judging NEK History Day

I was asked by the Old Stone House Museum to be one of the many judges at the Northeast Kingdom History Fair. Students in grades 6 through 12 exhibited their historical inquiry projects in the big arena at IROC in Derby on March 26. The fair was open to the public from noon on, and prizes were awarded around 7:30 p.m. I had never been to a history fair and found it very interesting. Most of the exhibits were great so it was difficult to choose. I was a seventh grade judge with four other teachers and librarians. We choose as our first prize a display about Robert Frost and how he changed our perceptions of poetry. The list of winning exhibits can be found here on the museum's blog.

The photo above is of the graves of Alexander Twilight (1795-1857) and his wife Mercy (d. 1878) in the Brownington Cemetery.

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Saturday, April 11, 2009

LOL Cat Bible: Lectionary Readings for Easter Sunday

Easter Sunday
Acts 10.34–43† or Isaiah 25.6–9
Psalm 118.[1–2] 14–24
1 Corinthians 15.1–11 or Acts 10.34–43†
John 20.1–18 or Mark 16.1–8





Acts 10
CATNELIUS IZ LIEK "I CAN HAZ PETER?"

1 At Cezarea der wuz a d00d naemd Catnelius n he wuz da "big cat" in da Regimans.
2 He n hiz famileh luvd Ceiling Cat n talkd 2 him daileh n gave cookiez to kittehs who wuz liek "I has be in need."
3 One dai durin kitteh litter time he sees sum craezy-azz vishuns.
4 Catnelius wuz liek "oh shaet LOL"
5 Teh anjul sed "Ur praers n cookiez has be a memorial offerin 2 da Ceiling Cat.
6 Now send sum peeps 2 git Simon (most catz call em Peter, idk y).
7 Ya git hiz azz ova hear."
8 Wen teh anjul lef Catnelius got 2 d00ds n a Gawd-freain soulja. H gaev em teh dirt on Ceiling Cat n send em 2 Joppa.

TEH TRIPPEH VIJUNS OF PETER
9 Teh nex dai Peter wuz talkn 2 Ceiling Cat on teh roof.
10 Den he sez "I has hunger n I want sumtin 2 eatz."
11 He saw a big sheet like peepz hav on deir bedz.
12 It has animulz on its wit teh 4 feetz.
13 Den a voice (Ceiling Catz I think) sez 2 Pete, "Git up, Peter. Can has cheezburger."
14 Peter sez, "uh-uh, Loard, I dont eatz teh unclaen."
15 Den God wuz piszed n hes liek, "Do not call teh cheezburger unclaen dat I has made claen."
16 Repeat step 13-15 three tiemz.
17 While Petey wuz wunderin bout teh vishunz, sum d00ds is stopped at teh gaet.
18 "Haysup," dey sez, "Were iz Simon (most catz call em Peter but idk why)?"
19 Whiel Pete wuz still thinkin, Ceiling Cat sez "Hay, 3 d00ds r lookin 4 u.
20 Git yo azz up n go downstaers."
21 Peter went downstaers n sed "Wut do u want."
22 Dey sez, "We has come from Catnelius da "big cat" from teh Regimans. He iz teh right-ness God-freain d00d. Da Ceilin Cat made uz come get u."
23 Den Pete invite dem 2 hiz litterbox, thx!

Psalm 118.[1–2] 14–24

1 Givz all sortz of madz propz to lieks teh ceiling cat cause he's liek good and such; hiz awesomeness goes on for liek everz.
2 Letz izarail sez "Him luf goes on for liek everz."
3 Let teh family of liek Aaron liek sez "Him luf go on liek forever."
4 Letz those dat fearz teh Ceiling Cat sez "Doods him luf and niceness goez on for liek everz"
5 I was liek in some liek major badness and liek I called for Ceiling Cat: He liek said "Hai I'm hear what u want?", I waz all liek " needed some helpz plz", and den Ceiling Cat cames toed me and liek gives me something. It was a bigly biger big field wif some liek flowerz and suf, Me and Him waz hapi now.
6 Ceiling Cat is liek on me side; I will not be fraid: What could a Grue do to me long as liek Ceiling Cat and his luf is with me.
7 Ceiling Cat taked me parts wif dem that wif me: saying liek dat they willn't have his luf dat I want.
8 It iz liek gooder to liek putz ur selfs faithz in liek ceiling cat tehn to putz ur trustz en likes non ceiling catz ppl.
9 It iz liek gooder to liek put all uf ur trustz in Ceiling Cat than to liek put them in liek royal ppl.
10 All of teh othre ppl liek came aroundz me: but in teh name Celing Cat I wil maked dem luf him.
11 Tey were all liek around me; I mean realy around me, they were around me: but in teh name of Celing Cat I wil maked dem luf him.
12 Tey surronded me liek flowers round a cat in a goodest painting: tey were runed away liek tey food of teh fat house cat: fur in teh name of Ceiling Cat I will maked dem luf him.
13 You haved trust bad at me dat I maybed fall: but Ceiling Cat helped me.
14 Celing Cat is my luf and my music ting, and is liek going to be my happy song luf after I is not live.
15 Teh voice of happyness giving and goodness is in teh places of teh place of teh Ceiling Cat: teh right paw of Ceiling doseth really awesome tings.
16 Teh right paw of Ceiling Cat is taked high: teh right paw of Celing Cat doseth really awesome tings.
17 I will not no live, but live, and sez to all teh good tings of Ceiling Cat.
18 Ceiling Cat has liek learned me good: but he no give me no life.
19 Open teh gate of Celing Cat: I wilf goes into tem, and I shall say how good Ceiling Cat is.
20 Teh gate of Ceiling Cat, so teh goodly good may come in.
21 I will sez how good u is: caus liek u did hearded me, and liek I get good tings liek flowers from u.
22 Teh Celing that teh Grues no want is become teh ceiling of teh building.
23 This is Ceiling Cat's stuf that he is diding; it are awesomly awsome in all of ur eyes.
24 This is teh day which Ceiling Cat did maked; we will do happy dances and be realy glad while we did it.
25 Not now, I ask u, O Ceing Cat; O Ceiling Cat, I ask u, sended me some goodness and maked sure that it's emailed.
26 Good gived is he that is moving in teh name of Ceiling cat: we have gived him all kind of cookies out of his hoze.
27 Celing Cat is teh only Ceiling Cat, which did showed us light: when wes give him cookies, even teh ones wif M&Ms in em.
28 U is my Ceiling Cat, and I will give u mad propz: U is my Ceiling Cat, I will moved u high up on teh scale.
29 O gives teh Ceiling Cat all likes Cheezburgerz; cuz lieks him gewd: for his cooledness goeed on likes 4everz.

GOT U A EASTER EGG BUT I EATED IT

1 Corinthians 15.1–11
Jesus died for u n den he comed bak

1 OK, remembr what I told u befor about Jesus, itz importnt.
2 If u follo what I tolded u, u wil be saevd. Othrwaiz itz no use.
3 Dis iz teh moast importnt thing: Jesus died becz of our Invisible Errors (liek it wuz fortolded in teh Bible),
4 he wuz burieded an caem bak to lief on teh thrd dai (liek it wuz fortolded in teh Bible).
5 Peter seed him an so did his twelv followrz.
6 An after dat fiev hundrid peeplz seed him. Sum iz evn stil aliev.
7 Jamez seed him too,
8 an I wuz last, liek teh redhedded stepchield LOL.
9 I iz teh leest importnt of Jesuss followrz. I duzint evn dizurv to be wun, bcz I wuz meen to Ceiling Cat's church.
10 But Ceiling Cat wuz niec to me. I iz what I iz. I wrkd rilli hard, hardr dan ennibodi, but rilli all teh credit goez to Ceiling Cat.
11 So no mattr who sez it, dis iz what we tellz evribodi, and dis iz what u beleevded.



John 20.1–18
Teh Empty Plac whar teh ded guise iz

1 Early on teh first day ov teh week, while it was still dark, Marykitteh Magdacatlene goez to teh plac whar teh ded guise iz n see dat teh stone haf been takeded from teh front.
2 So teh lady caem rly fast liek to Simon Petercat n teh otehr disipul, teh one Ceiling Cat’s son luvs, n seded, "Dey haf taked teh Ceiling Cat’s son out ov teh plac whar teh ded guise iz, n we dun know whar dey haf putted him!"
3 So Petercat n teh otehr disipul go to teh plac whar teh ded guise iz.
4 Bov were rly fast liek, but teh otehr disipul goez fastr den Petercat n got to teh plac whar teh ded guise iz first.
5 Him bent ovur n see in at teh strips ov linen lying der but dun go in.
6 Den Simon Petercat, who was behind him, got der n goez into teh plac whar teh ded guise iz. Him see teh strips ov linen lying der,
7 as well as teh burial clov dat haf been around Ceiling Cat’s sons’ hed. Teh clov was foldeded up by itself, not wit teh linen.
8 Finally teh otehr disipul, who haf go to teh plac whar teh ded guise iz first, also goez inside. Him see n bleeved.
9(Dey still dun understn from Scaptur dat Ceiling Cat’s son haf to rise from teh dead.)
Ceiling Cat’s son Appears to Marykitteh Magdacatlene
10 Den teh desipuls goez back to der homehs,
11 but Marykitteh stood outside teh plac whar teh ded guise iz crying. As teh lady waz cryin, her bent ovur to look into teh plac whar teh ded guise iz
12 n see two catangels in wite, seating whar Ceiling Cat’s son's body haf been, one at teh hed n teh otehr at teh foot.
13 Dey ask her, "Why u crying?" "Dey haf taked mai Ceiling Cat’s son away," teh lady seded, "n I dun know whar dey haf putted him."
14 At dis, teh lady turned round n see Ceiling Cat’s son stning der, but teh lady dun realize dat it was Ceiling Cat’s son.
15 "Lady," him seded, "why u crying? Who iz u looking fer?" Finking him was teh gardener, teh lady seded, "Sir, if u haf takeded him away, tell meh whar u haf putted him, n I will get him."
16 Ceiling Cat’s son seded to her, "Marykitteh." Teh lady turned to him n cry out in Catamaic, "Cattoni!" (which meens Teacher).
17 Ceiling Cat’s son seded, "Dun hold on to meh, fer I dun yet coem bak to teh Ceiling Cat. Go instead to mai brotehrs n tell dem, 'Ai coem bak to mai Ceiling Cat n ur Ceiling Cat, to mai Ceiling Cat n ur Ceiling Cat.' "
18 Marykitteh Magdacatlene goez to teh desipuls wif teh noos: "I haf seen teh Ceiling Cat’s son!" N teh lady told dem dat him haf seded dees things to her. Ceiling Cat’s son Appears to Him Desipuls.

Mark 16.1–8
OMFG WARE TEH Happy Cat GO?!?!11!

1 K so tehn on Mondy Mary Magdaln an Mary hoo wuz Jamses mom taekd sum spisez to rub on teh Happy Cat husk soes it dont stank.
2 An dey getz to teh cavez rly erly in teh mornan, liek sunries.
3 An dey wuz wundrin hoo wuz gunna maekded teh srsly big rokk door opind.
4 An dey lookded an seen teh door alredy opind.
5 And wen dey goed in teh caev dey seen a d00d thar in wite robes, an dey got skeert.
6 Teh d00d sez 'O HAI THAR, don be skeert. U comed heer lookin fer teh Happy Cat u lef heer, rite? He camed bak frum teh deds an aint heer no moar.
7 Now GTFO an txt Hiz d00dz an Pete an tell em dat dey can haz meetz wit teh Happy Cat in Galalee liek He sed befoer He wuz ded. kthxbi'
8 An teh chikz GTFO rly kwik cuz dey was srsly skeert, an dey dint tawk teh hole way homed.

128298125379532500odeerpeepzi.jpg

LOLCat of the Day

funny pictures of cats with captions
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Thursday, April 09, 2009

Buddy Takes a Hike

Last weekend, when John and I took a walk in my woods to see how the land looked after the winter, Buddy came with us. He is happy in this photo, but after an hour he began to complain softly. Then loudly. Then he stopped walking and did a lot of sitting. John finally began to carry him towards the very end. Buddy isn't as young as he used to be!

Buddy Set
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Wednesday, April 08, 2009

The Pinnacle

Fox fur
Two weeks ago, John took me to the Pinnacle in central New Hampshire. This is an area of glacial erratics where buds were beginning to burst and the snow was still deep.

John points out a young deer track.

Glacial erratic with rock tripe and the natural amphitheater behind.

Rock tripe & American Rock Shield
Rock tripe is an edible lichen found in eastern parts of the US that is commonly found on rock faces and cliffs. It is very sensitive to air pollution, so when you see it growing abundantly, chances are good that the air around you is unpolluted. . . . . rock tripe was used by the American Indians as a food source, but only after extensive soaking to remove its tannins. It was also purportedly eaten by George Washington’s soldiers in Valley Forge to prevent starvation. Nutritionally, rock tripe has one third more calories per weight than honey or corn flakes. In Japan, it is considered a delicacy and is called "iwa-take" for rock mushroom and is often served in salads or deep fried.

Rock Tripe. The most wonderful of all is probably the greenish-black rock tripe, found on the bleakest, highest rocks in the northern parts of this continent. There is a wonderful display of it on the cliffs about Mohonk Lake, in the Catskills. Richardson and Franklin, the great northern explorers, lived on it for months. It must be very carefully cooked or it produces cramps. First gather and wash it as clear as possible of sand and grit, washing it again and again, snipping off the gritty parts of the roots where it held onto the mother rock. Then roast it slowly in a pan till dry and crisp. Next boil it for one hour and serve it either hot or cold. It looks like thick gumbo soup with short, thick pieces of black and green leaves in it. It tastes a little like tapioca with a slight flavoring of licorice. On some it acts as a purge.

American Rock Shield
Xanthoparmelia cumberlandia (American Rock Shield) - The thallus is greenish yellow, forming orbicular colonies 3-12 cm broad, the central part tending to become densely lobulate (provided with numerous lobules) with age. Apothecia are common. The lower surface is tan and moderately rhizinate. Hale (1979) considers it common on exposed rocks.

Red bud

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Sunday, April 05, 2009

LOL Cat Bible: Lectionary Readings for Palm Sunday

Liturgy of the Palms:
Mark 11.1–11
or John 12.12–16
Psalm 118.[1–2] 19–242

Liturgy of the Passion:
Isaiah 50.4–9a
Psalm 31.9–16 [or 9–18]
Philippians 2.5–11
Mark 14.1—end of 15 or 15.1–39 [40–end]


Liturgy of the Palms

Mark 11.1–11
Teh Tryumfal Entree

1 Wen dey wuz neer Jerusalem an caem to Bethphage an Bethany at teh Mownt of Olivz, Happy Cat sendz
2 of hiz desipulz,2 an he wuz liek "U goez 2 teh taon ovar dere, an wen u getz dere u iz gunna fynd a hors an nobuddy evur roed dat hors. U untyz it an bringz it heer, k?
3 An if enywun iz liek 'Hay, wai u doin dat?' u sez 'Teh Lord needz it. Hez gunna bringz it bak wen hez dun.'"
4 An dey went and dey fownd teh hors an it wuz tyd up. An wen dey untyd it,
5 sum peepulz wuz liek "Hay, wai r u untyin dat hors?"
6 An dey sed wut Happy Cat toldz dem to sai, an teh peepul wuz liek "O, okai!"
7 Wen dey brot teh hors 2 Happy Cat an put deir jackitz on it,Happy Cat satz on it.
8 An lotz of peepul put jackitz on teh rod an othurz put branchiz on teh rod.
9 An teh peepul wuz liek "Yay! Teh gai dat comz in the naem of Ceiling Cat has cheezburgrz!
10 Teh kingdum of David iz gunna hav cheezburgrz! YAY!!!!!"
11 An Jebus goed into Jerusalem an went 2 teh tempul, but it wuz laet, so he goed 2 Bethany an goed 2 bed.

John 12.12–16
Jebus Comes to Town

12 Teh next day, all teh kittehs herd dat Jebus wuz goinz to Jerusalem. A bunch of kittehs
13 all broughted catnip an went to teh road to see hims. Dey wuz shoutins
O Hai Ceiling Cat!
Jebus can has cookies plz?
O Hai Jebus, u iz are King!!1!
14 Jebus saw a donkey, and wuz all liek "O Hai, iz my donkey naow." An dis wuz liek a ting peoplez would say, and dat wuz
15 "No be scareded, Jerusalem
cuz ur King is ridins a donkey. Srsly."
16 But Jebus's kittehs didn't get it at teh time (dat Jebus ridins a donkey wuz liek dis ting peoplez used to say). But laterz, dey wuz all liek "WTF, dat poem bout teh King ridin a donkey wuz totally about Jebus!!1! Even tho it wuz wrote a long timez ago. Srsly!"

Psalm 118

1 Givz all sortz of madz propz to lieks teh ceiling cat cause he's liek good and such; hiz awesomeness goes on for liek everz.
2 Letz izarail sez "Him luf goes on for liek everz."
3 Let teh family of liek Aaron liek sez "Him luf go on liek forever."
4 Letz those dat fearz teh Ceiling Cat sez "Doods him luf and niceness goez on for liek everz"
5 I was liek in some liek major badness and liek I called for Ceiling Cat: He liek said "Hai I'm hear what u want?", I waz all liek " needed some helpz plz", and den Ceiling Cat cames toed me and liek gives me something. It was a bigly biger big field wif some liek flowerz and suf, Me and Him waz hapi now.
6 Ceiling Cat is liek on me side; I will not be fraid: What could a Grue do to me long as liek Ceiling Cat and his luf is with me.
7 Ceiling Cat taked me parts wif dem that wif me: saying liek dat they willn't have his luf dat I want.
8 It iz liek gooder to liek putz ur selfs faithz in liek ceiling cat tehn to putz ur trustz en likes non ceiling catz ppl.
9 It iz liek gooder to liek put all uf ur trustz in Ceiling Cat than to liek put them in liek royal ppl.
10 All of teh othre ppl liek came aroundz me: but in teh name Celing Cat I wil maked dem luf him.
11 Tey were all liek around me; I mean realy around me, they were around me: but in teh name of Celing Cat I wil maked dem luf him.
12 Tey surronded me liek flowers round a cat in a goodest painting: tey were runed away liek tey food of teh fat house cat: fur in teh name of Ceiling Cat I will maked dem luf him.
13 You haved trust bad at me dat I maybed fall: but Ceiling Cat helped me.
14 Celing Cat is my luf and my music ting, and is liek going to be my happy song luf after I is not live.
15 Teh voice of happyness giving and goodness is in teh places of teh place of teh Ceiling Cat: teh right paw of Ceiling doseth really awesome tings.
16 Teh right paw of Ceiling Cat is taked high: teh right paw of Celing Cat doseth really awesome tings.
17 I will not no live, but live, and sez to all teh good tings of Ceiling Cat.
18 Ceiling Cat has liek learned me good: but he no give me no life.
19 Open teh gate of Celing Cat: I wilf goes into tem, and I shall say how good Ceiling Cat is.
20 Teh gate of Ceiling Cat, so teh goodly good may come in.
21 I will sez how good u is: caus liek u did hearded me, and liek I get good tings liek flowers from u.
22 Teh Celing that teh Grues no want is become teh ceiling of teh building.
23 This is Ceiling Cat's stuf that he is diding; it are awesomly awsome in all of ur eyes.
24 This is teh day which Ceiling Cat did maked; we will do happy dances and be realy glad while we did it.
25 Not now, I ask u, O Ceing Cat; O Ceiling Cat, I ask u, sended me some goodness and maked sure that it's emailed.
26 Good gived is he that is moving in teh name of Ceiling cat: we have gived him all kind of cookies out of his hoze.
27 Celing Cat is teh only Ceiling Cat, which did showed us light: when wes give him cookies, even teh ones wif M&Ms in em.
28 U is my Ceiling Cat, and I will give u mad propz: U is my Ceiling Cat, I will moved u high up on teh scale.
29 O gives teh Ceiling Cat all likes Cheezburgerz; cuz lieks him gewd: for his cooledness goeed on likes 4everz.

funny pictures of cats with captions
more animals

Liturgy of the Passion:
Isaiah 50.4–9a

4 teh sovereign Ceiling Cat has given me an instructed tongue,
to know teh word dat sustains teh weary.
him wakens me morning by morning,
wakens mai ear to listen like wun being taught.
5 teh sovereign Ceiling Cat has opened mai ears,
an ai haf no been rebellious;
ai haf no drawn back.
6 ai offered mai back to those who beat me,
mai cheeks to those who pulled owt mai beard;
ai did no hide mai face frum mocking an spitting.
7 becus teh sovereign Ceiling Cat helps me,
ai wil no be disgraced.
therefore haf ai set mai face like flint,
an ai know ai wil no be put to shame.
8 him who vindicates me is near.
who den wil bring charges aginst me?
let us face each other!
who is mai accuser?
let him confront me!
9 it is teh sovereign Ceiling Cat who helps me.
who is him dat wil condemn me?
dey wil awl wear owt like a garment;
teh moths wil eat dem up.

Psalm 31.9–16 [or 9–18]

1 In yu, o Ceiling Cat, ai haides; dis kitteh dont want to be fownd in littrboxz. Plez send meh to ur richoushnessh ov cookiez an burdiez!!
2 Ai azkin srsly! Make meh monorail kitteh, safe abuv othr kittehs.
3 3-5 Ai has a seekrit. Plez comez findz meh! Plez beh sofa so ai can haides, plez be meh haidysofa. Plez keep dis kitteh away from teh trapz.
6 6-13 I haz no leikz fah evewythin but yu, Ceiling Cat. I mew songs ov yu! Ai give yu all meh cheezburgers! Yu make meh safe abuv othr kittehs. Safe from dem all wais. Thx fah bein sofa. Ai luv yu Ceiling Cat an givz yu all meh cookiz!! Oh noes! Dere is trap! Be meh sofaz agen! Ai mew fah yu, cuz teh kittehs fink ai haz uglies! Ai haz embarrusin! Dey wishen I wuz ded bi diseez! Dey wishen ai wuz in de toylut bowl! Ded bonse ai wish ai wuz! Mai bonse waisted awai cuz ai iz mewing awl dai lawng. Ai haid in sofa frum dem agen. Ceiling Cat iz mai sofa.
14 14-18 Awlwais, yu haides meh frum Basement Cat's minyunz. Yu givs meh blankit an fudz an cuddlee. Yu savz meh cuz yu luvs meh. Plez to haz embarrusinz on teh ivil kittehs? Maek dem in the littrboxz! Plez for dem to say "Wai? Wtf?" Dey call fah meh bad namz an ai mew fah yu! Dey laff at meh frum the toylut bowl an wantz meh in der wif dem!
19 19-22 Yu give meh cookiez! Yu rly Ceiling Cat! Ai run to yu an yu haidz meh. An yu haidz awl teh kittehs dat run to yu! All cheezburgers fah Ceiling Cat! Yu make othr kittehs be fownd in littrboxz, but not teh kittehs dat givz yu cheezburger! Yu herd mai mew. Yu grab meh an heer mai mew.
23 Luv Ceiling Cat kittehs! Ceiling Cat haidz yu an meh, srsly!
24 Yu haz RAWR when Ceiling Cat iz on ur side! He iz here to beh haidysofa!

Philippians 2.5–11

5 U shud tihnk liek teh Baby Jeebus:
6 Hoo wuz teh saem as Ceiling Cat, yet nut robber, but deesidid knot to stey up dere
7 an maed himzelf jus liek uss, becumin not Ceiling Cat no mor:
8 Him wuz pretend lessr, nd obeyed thingz til deaf of cross.
9 So Ceiling Cat sez to him, "UZ AWESUM! lol" and callz him nice namez,
10 so dat wen we hears hiz nice namez, we bow at nee nd givez him all deh cheezburgerz, whether we findz dem in teh sky or on teh ground or in teh cavez,
11 and we all sez, "UZ AWESUM! UZ CEILING CAT JR! CEILING CAT ROX!"

Mark 14.1—end of 15 or 15.1–39 [40–end]
Happy Cat getz katnipsed at Bethany

1 Nao itz two dayses til cheezbrgr feest of Passovers and Unlevennseded Kibls, an soopr relijinkittehs an teh lawkats ar tryin for find speshul sly sekrt sneeky wai of catnap Happy Cat an pwnzor himz.
2 "Wez cant pwnzor Happy Cat wen its cheezbrgr feest," they sayz, "or teh peeps wil say 'DO NOT WANT!'"
3 OK, Happy Cat ar in Bethany, he ar layin bai fud tabl at hous of d00d naemd Simon teh Leper (leperd iz kinduv cat LOL he wuz kitteh!!!), womnkitteh coms wif bag of uber1337 roxxorz katnips, maed frm pyur nard (LOL nard is frm HARBL GOES WHERE!!). Womnkitteh broek teh bag an porr teh katnipz on Happy Cat an his hed an eers an noes.
4 Happy Cat peepz ar pissd an ar sayn, "WTF wy shez can wayst katnips?
5 Katnips can b solded for lotz of ca$h so homless kittehs can has cheezbrgrs." An dey is bein meens to hers.
6 "ZOMG chilz n00bs!!!11!" sed Happy Cat. "Wy u ar bein l0srs? Dis kitteh iz bein niec at meh.
7 U guise can givs stuf to homless kittehs wenevr u wants. bt u guise wont hav meh furevah.
8 De ladah did wat she cud. She poured smelly watah on meh bodah b4 de buryin.
9 Ize tellz u guise de truht, werevah de gospal is pweached, on de ceiling or on de ground, wat de lady haz dun will be dayur, in memory of her."
10 Tehn Jewdahs Izcareoht whnt 2 teh cheef preestz 2 beetrai Happy Cat 2 dem.
11 Dem wer deelaited 2 heer dis n promized 2 give him monies. So him watchd 4 chanz 2 hnd him ovr.

The Lord's Supper
12 On the first day of the Feast of Unleavened Bread, when it was customary to sacrifice the Passover lamb, Happy Cat's disciples asked him, "Where do you want us to go and make preparations for you to eat the Passover?"
13 So he sent two of his disciples, telling them, "Go into the city, and a man carrying a jar of water will meet you. Follow him.
14 Say to the owner of the house he enters, 'The Teacher asks: Where is my guest room, where I may eat the Passover with my disciples?'
15 He will show you a large upper room, furnished and ready. Make preparations for us there."
16 The disciples left, went into the city and found things just as Happy Cat had told them. So they prepared the Passover.
17 When evening came, Happy Cat arrived with the Twelve.
18 While they were reclining at the table eating, he said, "I tell you the truth, one of you will betray me—one who is eating with me."
19 They were saddened, and one by one they said to him, "Surely not I?"
20 "It is one of the Twelve," he replied, "one who dips bread into the bowl with me.
21 The Son of Man will go just as it is written about him. But woe to that man who betrays the Son of Man! It would be better for him if he had not been born."
22 While they were eating, Happy Cat took bread, gave thanks and broke it, and gave it to his disciples, saying, "Take it; this is my body."
23 Then he took the cup, gave thanks and offered it to them, and they all drank from it.
24 "This is my blood of the covenant, which is poured out for many," he said to them.
25 "I tell you the truth, I will not drink again of the fruit of the vine until that day when I drink it anew in the kingdom of God."
26 When they had sung a hymn, they went out to the Mount of Olives.

Happy Cat Predicts Peter's Denial
27 "You will all fall away," Happy Cat told them, "for it is written:
" 'I will strike the shepherd,
and the sheep will be scattered.'
28 But after I have risen, I will go ahead of you into Galilee."
29 Peter declared, "Even if all fall away, I will not."
30 "I tell you the truth," Happy Cat answered, "today—yes, tonight—before the rooster crows twice you yourself will disown me three times."
31 But Peter insisted emphatically, "Even if I have to die with you, I will never disown you." And all the others said the same.

Gethsemane
32 They went to a place called Gethsemane, and Happy Cat said to his disciples, "Sit here while I pray."
33 He took Peter, James and John along with him, and he began to be deeply distressed and troubled.
34 "My soul is overwhelmed with sorrow to the point of death," he said to them. "Stay here and keep watch."
35 Going a little farther, he fell to the ground and prayed that if possible the hour might pass from him.
36 "Abba, Father," he said, "everything is possible for you. Take this cup from me. Yet not what I will, but what you will."
37 Then he returned to his disciples and found them sleeping. "Simon," he said to Peter, "are you asleep? Could you not keep watch for one hour?
38 Watch and pray so that you will not fall into temptation. The spirit is willing, but the body is weak."
39 Once more he went away and prayed the same thing.
40 When he came back, he again found them sleeping, because their eyes were heavy. They did not know what to say to him.
41 Returning the third time, he said to them, "Are you still sleeping and resting? Enough! The hour has come. Look, the Son of Man is betrayed into the hands of sinners.
42 Rise! Let us go! Here comes my betrayer!"

Happy Cat Arrested
43 Just as he was speaking, Judas, one of the Twelve, appeared. With him was a crowd armed with swords and clubs, sent from the chief priests, the teachers of the law, and the elders.
44 Now the betrayer had arranged a signal with them: "The one I kiss is the man; arrest him and lead him away under guard."
45 Going at once to Happy Cat, Judas said, "Rabbi!" and kissed him.
46 The men seized Happy Cat and arrested him.
47 Then one of those standing near drew his sword and struck the servant of the high priest, cutting off his ear.
48 "Am I leading a rebellion," said Happy Cat, "that you have come out with swords and clubs to capture me?
49 Every day I was with you, teaching in the temple courts, and you did not arrest me. But the Scriptures must be fulfilled."
50 Then everyone deserted him and fled.
51 Thiz one guy wuz followinz Happy Cat, wearinz nuddin but linen undiez. Teih catched him,
52 but he left teh linen undiez and ran off nakedz. lol!



Before the Sanhedrin
53 They took Happy Cat to the high priest, and all the chief priests, elders and teachers of the law came together.
54 Peter followed him at a distance, right into the courtyard of the high priest. There he sat with the guards and warmed himself at the fire.
55 The chief priests and the whole Sanhedrin were looking for evidence against Happy Cat so that they could put him to death, but they did not find any.
56 Many testified falsely against him, but their statements did not agree.
57 Then some stood up and gave this false testimony against him:
58 "We heard him say, 'I will destroy this man-made temple and in three days will build another, not made by man.' "
59 Yet even then their testimony did not agree.
60 Then the high priest stood up before them and asked Happy Cat, "Why you not sez nuttin? What is this testimony that these men are bringing against you?"
61 But Happy Cat sez nuttin. Again the high priest asked him, "Are you the Christ, the Son of the Blessed One?"
62 "I am," said Happy Cat. "And you will see the Son of Kittehs sitting at the right hand of Ceiling Cat and coming on the clouds of heaven."
63 The high priest be rippin all his closes. "Why we need any moar witnesses?" he asked.
64 "You heers the blasphemy. What you fink?" They all condemned him as worthy of death.
65 Then tehy begins to hiss at him; tehy blindfolds him, scratches him wit der pawz, and said, "Prophesy!" And teh guards tooks him and beated him.

Peter Disowns Happy Cat
66 While Peter was below in the courtyard, one of the servant girls of the high priest came by.
67 When she saw Peter warming himself, she looked closely at him. "You also were with that Nazarene, Happy Cat," she said.
68 But he denied it. "I don't know or understand what you're talking about," he said, and went out into the entryway. After a little while, those standing near said to Peter, "Surely you are one of them, for you are a Galilean."
69 When the servant girl saw him there, she said again to those standing around, "This fellow is one of them."
70Again he denied it.
71 He began to call down curses on himself, and he swore to them, "I don't know this man you're talking about."
72 Immediately the rooster crowed the second time. Then Peter remembered the word Happy Cat had spoken to him: "Before the rooster crows twice[i] you will disown me three times." And he broke down and wept.

Happy Cat STFU an dont anser Pilot

1 K so den liek all teh cheefs n catz dat rite downd teh stuffs haz meetz an tied up teh Happy Cat n taeked Him to Pilot.
2 An Pilot sez 'r u teh King uv teh j00s?' An Happy Cat iz liek 'If u sez so.'
3 An teh cheefs wuz in His base, makin akyoosashuns. But Happy Cat chill an sez nothin.
4 An Pilot sez ta Him, 'Why u STFU d00d? Ur gettin pwnd srsly.'
5 But teh Happy Cat stil chill an Pilot wuz liek 'OMFG l33t'.
6 K see on dis day Pilot gots to let 1 uv teh crimnals maek freed.
7 An thar wuz a cat thar naem Barabbis, an he wuz thar fer killin some d00dz in teh base.
8 An teh crowdz axd Pilot to maek teh relees liek norml.
9 An Pilot sez, 'Shud I maek freed teh King uv teh j00s?'
10 Cus he noed teh cheefs wuz srsly jellus of teh Happy Cat.
11 But teh cheefs sez 'I see wut u did thar' an maed teh crowdz ax fer Barabbis.
12 An den Pilot sez 'K so WTF I susspose to do wit teh King of teh j00s?'
13 An teh crowdz sez 'pwn him!'
14 An Pilot wuz liek 'WTF? Wut he did?' but teh crowdz meowd evn lowder: 'pwn him!'
15 An Pilot wantz all teh peepz to liek him so he maeks free Barabbis an pwns Happy Cat.

Happy Cat getz pwnd ovr an ovr
16 An teh soljerz taekd teh Happy Cat to a plase calleded Praetorium, an moar d00dz showded up.
17 An dey dressded Him up in l33t purpl robez an putted a hat maed uv tharn on Hiz hed,
18 An dey stikked thar paws out liek Hitlar an sez 'All hale teh King uv teh j00s!'
19 An dey pwnd Him on teh hed wit a stik an spitted on Hims an neelded down to maek bowz. 20 Wen dey was doen makin fun dey taeked teh l33t robez off an putted His nrml close on an taeked Him out to pwn Him on teh cross.
21 An dey maekded a cat naemd Simon halp teh Happy Cat crry dis cross cuz it wuz srsly hevy. 22 An dey taekded Him to dis plase called Golgotha, wich meen 'All ur skullz r belong to us.'
23 An dey givded Him sum b00z but He dint drank nun.
24 An wen dey had pwnd Him on teh cross dey taekded His cheezbergrz an playded dice to see hoo taekded them az teh prize.
25 An it wuz 3 in teh affernewn an dey pwnt Him.
26 An dey maed a sine ovr Hiz hed dat sed: TEH KING UV TEH J00S.
27 An dey pwnd deez 2 d00dz dat wuz in teh base, stealin an put 1 on teh rite an 1 on teh lef.
28 Dis maed teh script tru, teh part dat sed 'Him gonna get pwnd wit teh crimnals.'
29 An all teh peepz dat comed by LOL an maek fun seyin, 'Dis iz teh cat hoo sez he gonna pwn teh tempal? If u so l33t,
30 Save urslfs an stop gettin pwnd on teh cross.'
31 An teh cheefs an cats hoo rite teh stufs down all LOLd to an sez 'He can haz halp all teh udder catz, but cant haz halp himslfs LOL.
32 If ur teh King uv Isreel stop gettin pwnd an well beleev u.' Teh d00dz pwnd nex to Him wuz srsly pissd at Him.

Happy Cat maeks ded and berryd
33 Frum 6 to 9 it getz srsly dark owtsied liek u woodnt beleev.
34 An at 9 teh Happy Cat yelt 'Eloi, Eloi, lama sabachthani?' Dat meenz 'OMFG OMFG y do u haet me?'
35 An sum of teh peepz rownd thinkded He wuz tryin to txt Elias to com HALP.
36 Den 1 cat putted sum vinigur on teh stik an gaved to Jesus an sez, 'OMG letz c if Elias gonna com.'
37 An Happy Cat yelt reel lowd an wuz teh ded.
38 An teh flag at teh cherch getz pwnd in haf.
39 An wen teh gard nex to Happy Cat seen Him wuz ded he sez, 'Dis cat wuz teh Kitten of Ceiling Cat. Srsly.'
40 An thar wuz sum chikz far away an it wuz Mary Magdaln an Mary hoo wuz Jamses mom,
41 an lotz uv udder chikz cuz Happy Cat can haz strong pmphandz LOL.
42 Den at nite cuz it wuz teh day befoer Sundy,
43 Dis cat full uv WIN naemded Josif uv Armathea gose up to Pilot liek 'STFU an gimme da Happy Cat husk.'
44 An Pilot axed teh gard if Happy Cat wuz ded an teh gard sed 'Ya rly'
45 so Pilot sed 'K' an givded teh husk to Josif.
46 An Josif buyd a niec blankit an roled teh Happy Cat husk up in it an put it in teh cavez an cloesd teh door (it wuz a big rokk LOL).
47 An Mary Magdaln an Mary hoo wuz Joses mom seen it.

funny pictures of cats with captions

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