LOL Cat Bible: Lectionary Readings for the First Sunday of Christmas

First Sunday of Christmas

Isaiah 61.10—62.3
Psalm 148 [148.7–end]
Galatians 4.4–7
Luke 2.22-40

Isaiah 61.10 - 62.3

10 I can haz Ceiling Cat! ZOMG! He givded meh a kitteh collur of happeh. Liek 2 kittehz who lurvs each othurz.
11 Az teh urfs can haz plantz, and gaerdenz can haz flwrs ZOMG! In dat wai will Ceiling Cat give cheezburgerz to kittez, and make kittez to sai, "ZOMG, d00d!". Srsly.

Zions new naym
1 4 zions saek im gonna not keep silent, 4 jerusalems saek im gonna not remain quiet, Till her righteousnes shinez out liek teh dawn, Her salvashun liek blazin torch.
2 Teh nashuns will c ur righteousnes, An all kings ur glory; U will be calld by new naym Dat teh mouth ov teh lord will bestow.
3 U will be crown ov splendor in da lordz hand, Royal diadem in da hand ov ur ceilin cat.

Psalm 148
Prais four Ceiling Cat cuz Him Agsepshunilee Cool

1 Prais teh Ceiling Cat! Prais teh Ceiling Cat, SRSLY! {{verse wai iz yuz no praising yet? }}
2 Prais Him an awl Him angles; {{verse yuz srsly get praising riet nao }}
3 Prais Him

Galatians 4: 4-7

4 But when we had growd up, Ceiling Cat sended his kittn,
5 so we wud get our inheritens.
6 Ceiling Cat's spirit iz in our hartz, sayin "Daddi, daddi,"
7 So you iz not a slaev no moar, u iz Ceiling Cat's kittn, an you iz gettin an inheritens from him.

Luke 2: 22-40
Jebus brung to teh templlez

22 When Jebus' mom an dad wer dun gettin cleen by lickin themslvs, they took teh baybee to Jerusalem to bee presenteded to Ceiling Cat
23 ('coz hiz law sed so)
24 an to sacrimifice two birdeez ('coz he sed thats teh roolz).
25 So der wuz dis dood calld Simeon, an he wuz a gud dood and teh Ceiling Cat thot he wuz kewl.
26 It had been reveald to him by Hover Cat dat he wud not dye before he had seen teh lordz Christ wrappeded lk burito.
27 He wuz hangin out in da temple and when he saw da baybee burito,
28 Simeon did not eated baybee but insteads hugged him an sed,
29 "Spiffy Ceiling Cat, I can to be dying nao,
30 'coz I saw teh salvation and teh coolness
31 that u maded for all teh peoplez an stuffs,
32 for teh Gentiles and for teh gloree uv Israel."
33 His Mom an Dad were lyke, "sweet, are baybee iz teh kewlness!"
34 Simeon sed, "yer baybee iz destined to make teh rizing and falling of lotz of doodz in Israel, an doodz will say he iz not kewl,
35 but all teh heartz will be revealed. O ya, and yer sole will be peerced, too, but nvm that wan, iz gonna be ok."
36 So der waz also an old proffit ladee named Anna (I meen REALLY old), an her daddy wuz Phanuel, an hiz famlee wuz Asher,
37 an she wuz a widder. Sadness! She wuz in teh temple all teh time for teh praying an stuffs and sumetimes she maded cookies.
38 She saw da baybee an sed, "thx, Ceiling Cat! U rokk!" an told all teh doodz about how Jerusalem waz gonna be a kewl place agen sumdai.

Goez bak 2 Naz'reth
39 When dey were dun wif all teh leegal stuffs, it wuz tiem to go home to Naz'reth.
40 And teh baybee got to be big and tuff and smart and Ceiling Cat thot he was a purty gud kid, if ya know what I means.

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