meeyauw: LOL Cat Bible: Lectionary Readings for Sunday, February 20, 2011

Monday, February 21, 2011

LOL Cat Bible: Lectionary Readings for Sunday, February 20, 2011

Sunday, February 20, 2011

Leviticus 19:1-2, 9-18
Psalm 119:33-40
1 Corinthians 3:10-11, 16-23
Matthew 5:38-48

Leviticus 19:1-2, 9-18

Dees Other Laws
1 CEILING CAT sez to Moses
2 "Go sez to teh Israelis 'Be excellent cuz I'z CEILING CAT and I'z excellent.

9 An den when you has BBQ makes lots and lots of cheezburgers.
10 An no eats all teh Cheetos. Leaves sum for teh homeless kittehs and space alienz. I IZ CEILING CAT.
11 No be steelin'
     No be lying.
     No fooling u fwends.
12 No swearing in teh name of Ceiling Cat. I IZ CEILING CAT.
13 No steelin u naybur's Ex-Bawks.
     An pay teh delivery guy.
14 No makin fun o teh deaf peeple or trippin blind peeple, be 'fraid o Ceiling Cat!
15 No makin fun o Judge Judy or Joe Brown cuz theyz good judges cuz they no take no crap.
16 No spreadin rumors even if Louie does has big harballs.
     No be puttin kittehs in danger. I IZ CEELING CAT.
17 No fiteing in teh back seat wif u brother an no ganging up on u sister.
18 No gettin back at peeples or makin drama. Free luvz to all! I IZ CEILING CAT.

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Psalm 119: 33-40

Teh He
33 Teach me, lord, teh wai ov ur decreez, Dat i cud follow it 2 teh end. [b]
34 gimie understandin, so dat i cud keep ur law An obey it wif all mah hart.
35 direct me in da path ov ur commandz, 4 thar i find delight.
36 turn mah hart toward ur statutez An not toward selfish gain.
37 turn mah eyez away frum worthles things; Preserve mah life accordin 2 ur werd. [c]
38 fulfill ur promize 2 ur servant, So dat u cud be feard.
39 taek away teh disgrace i dread, 4 ur laws r gud.
40 how i long 4 ur precepts! In ur righteousnes preserve mah life.

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1 Corinthians 3:10-11, 16-23

10 Ceiling Cat gived me grace. I builded a good foundashn n sum othr d00d iz on mai foundashn, buildin Ceiling Cat's building. Build cairfly evribodi!
11 Bcz Jesus iz teh onli good foundashn.

16 U iz Ceiling Cat's tempul. Ceiling Cat's spirit iz in u, givin u cheezburgr.
17 If ennibodi nox down Ceiling Cat's tempul, Ceiling Cat will nok him down. Dat shud maek u feel betterz.
18 Dont get trix0red LOL. If u thinkz u is smart it is bettr to become stupid n get smartr from dere.
19 Liek I sed befor, teh wisdm of teh wurld is dum to Ceiling Cat. Sum d00d rited "He catchiz teh wise in their clevrness";
20 oh yeah n "Ceiling Cat knows dat teh thotz of teh wise iz good for nuffing."
21 So quit braggin about d00dz! Evrithing is urz,
22 Paul or Apollos or Rocky or teh world or lief or deth or now or latr - evrithing,
23 n u iz Christ n Christ is Ceiling Cat's.

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Matthew 5:38-48

A Eye for a Eye
38 Ceiling Cat iz liek "i 4 i, fnag 4 fang"
39 but im liek if bad kittehz spank u, turn otehr cheek
40 if bad kittehz take ur fir, give ur tail 2 41 if dogs chase u 1 mile, run 2 Luvin ur enemiz LOL
42 if u makes a cookie 4 some1, doe not eated it
43 kittehz iz liek "wuv ur BFFz, hate bad kittehz"
44 but im liek "wuv bad kittehz 2"
45 u r all Ceiling Catz kittenz. Sun shines on good kittehz and bad. Also rain :-(
46 if u wuv only ur BFFs, u no can has cheezburger. even teh IRS d00dz do taht!
47 if u iz liek "oh hai" 2 only ur BFFs, wtf? only n00bz do taht.
48 b k00l liek teh Ceiling Cat

Weekend Cat Events

Weekend Cat Blogging
#298 Feb 19-20 Samantha, Clementine & Maverick
(see the week’s host to enter your WCB post in the comments for the weekend roundup)

The Carnival of the Cats
#362 – When Cats Attack!
(submit your post here)

Ree-purrted by KC

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