LOL Cat Bible: Lectionary Readings for Sunday, June 6, 2010

Sunday, June 6, 2010

1 Kings 17:8-16, (17-24)
Psalm 146
Psalm 30
Galatians 1:11-24
Luke 7:11-17

1 Kings 17:8-16, (17-24)

8 Ceiling Cat whisperd to Elikhat:
9 Him catwalk to Zarephath of Sidon an der yu stay. Ai aksd a widoe slave-kitteh toh giv yu cookies.
10 Him gud kitteh catwalks to Zarephath an met teh widoe slave-kitteh. Den kitteh aproach teh widoe an aksd for sip ov wotr.
11 Teh widoe giv wotr, also cookies her giv gud kitteh.
12 Widoe kitteh sed toh gud kitteh, wut evr yu sed com from Ceiling Cat, ai wil obei but ai an meh onlei kitten hav flour. dem few nof enuf gud for tow ov us. meh an kitten mey starv toh deth an famin.
13 Elikhat sed toh widoe,pur kitteh, be nof afreid. Catwalk toh yuz kitteh basket. but meyk a tayne cookie toh meh tooh.
14 Becoz teh Ceiling Cat sed toh meh, dem hav famin an sufer, yuz flour wil beh enuf toh yu an yuz kitten, yu wil nof starve toh deth til teh famin wil ovr.
15 Teh pur kitteh went toh her kitteh basket an meyk a cookie an teh flour was nof used up. Dem has cookie toh Elikhat teh widoe an her kitten.
16 Teh was stil der, an dat teh word ov teh Ceiling Cat was fulfild.
17 One dey, teh widoe's onlei kitten got ill an died.
18 Pur widoe kitteh sed toh Elikhat, "Meh had done samting nof ryt toh yu Good Kitteh? did yu catwalk hir toh remynd meh ov myne invisible error an tuk meh onlei kitten?"
19 Giv meh yu kitten, Elikhat sed. Gud kitteh climb toh a tree an him wif teh kitten.
20 Him shout out to teh Ceiling Cat an sed, famin to tis land an sufer, wai tuk teh pur kitten an meyk sad teh widoe?
21 Elikhat leyd teh kitten on teh branch ov tree an shouted from one toh three, "Ceiling Cat wake kitten up! mercy beh!"
22 Ceiling Cat herd gud kittehs plea, an teh kitten wok up.
23 Den, Elikhat an teh kitten climb down teh tree an catwalk to teh widoe.
24 Trulee der yu ar a gud slave-kitteh ov teh Ceiling Cat! wat yu reely sey him tru!, sed teh widoe.

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Psalm 146 1 Praise Ceiling Cat Praise Ceiling Cat, o mai sole 2 I iz in mai life praisin Ceiling Cat all teh timez I iz singin to Ceiling Cat all mai life 3 Don't be in ur base trustin ur princez Cuz they iz gunna die an can't do nuffin 4 When their spirits iz in teh sky returning to teh urfs They is nuffin 5 If u gets Ceiling Cat to help you can haz cheezburger 6 Teh lolcoder of Ceiling and urfs teh watres and teh fishes 7 He lets hungry kittehs has sammiches 8 Ceiling Cat maikz teh blind kittehs can see Ceiling Cat liftz up kittehs on 4 legz Ceiling Cat <3>

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Psalm 30 1 Ai wull prayseh yu, teh Cieling Cat, cos yu pickd meh upz frm the toylut bowl an di unt letz next doorz dog laff at meh!! WAI DEY LAFF AT MEH!!!11!! 2 O teh Cieling Cat, I corlded yu an yu gis me the maike betta medsin. (Tayste bad tho srsly). 3 O teh Cieling Cat, yu has gotz meh from teh gardin holze an di unt letz meh fallz in teh toylut agen, srsly, ah keeypz duin that… 4 Myawzez 2 teh Cieling Cat, yu furreh toyz ov hiz, that goze skweek! Sayz iz nayme lotz and lotz and lotz!! 5 Cieling Catz mad fing tis shoort, but heez luvz yah frevur, srsly, cuz ai iz mayekin noyzes all nyte (wihch ai iz k wiv), an deh sleepeh kittenz is happeh in teh mornun. 6 Wun ai iz on teh sofur, ai myaw “NAOW, IZ MAI CUSHIN!!!” 7 O Cieling Cat, wun yu lykez meh bestist , yu mayde meh scwatchin powst nt forl ovah wen ai iz scwatchin (vewy inportant), bt wen yu iz hydin ur fayse, ai iz lyke OMG yu dyssapeyude!!! Srsly lyke WTF? Wer yu gon?!!11!!!! YU INVISDIBUL!!! 8 Tuh yu O Cieling Cat, ai myawed mor: 2 Cieling Cat foor murseh!! 9 Wai teh dog allwayz trei 2 putz meh in toylut bowlz!!? Wai?!! Oh noes! Teh dogz trei 2 take mah cookiez!! Iz teh snayulz gunna bee yur kittehz?? Iz it gunna sayz yu luvz Cieling Cat more dan cookiez an meh?? 10 Lizun O Cieling Cat an giz meh cookiez plz, O Cieling Cat, beh mah fwuendz, k? 11 Yuh turnd mah cri cat 2 danz cat, tuk off taht grai furz an yuzed teh fur die of teh fun kynd, srsly, ai hatez teh garai furz, meks meh luk lyk teh ownur of sooicydul catz, srsly. 12 Soze mai hart can myawz 2 yuh an not beh myawluss. O Cieling Cat, ai givz yuh mah cookiez furevr, k, thnx, bai..

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Galatians 1:11-24
Paul txted by ceiling cat

11 Iz not makin dis up. Srsly.
12 No mans telled me. Jebus telled me. Srsly.
13 So ai hopez yu new abuot me befoer. Ai wuz a meen kat to Jebus kats adn treid too taek theyre toyz.
14 Ai haed moer Jooish katnip than othah Jookats cuz I leikd katnip a lot.
15 Bud den teh Ceiling Cat, he putted me ni speshial boxs whne ai wuz a kittn, adn siad,
16 "Oh, hai! Iz teh Ceiling Cat. This iz mai kittn, Jebus. Txt yur freindz, kthnx." Ai didnt aks nowun,
17 Ai jus wen too Arabia (das a big saendboxs!!1). Thne thta wuz dun so ai wen too Demaskas.
18 So thne that wuz dun too so ai goed too Jerusalin so I cuold sai, "Oh, hai, Petah!"
19 An ai didnt tolk to nowun elze! Eksept Jaemz. But hez Jebusz bruthah, so dat wuz ok.
20 So thisz no joek. Srsly.
21 Yeah, an ai bin too Siria and Cylicia too. Srsly.
22 But teh Jebus chruches in Judae didnt kno me.
23 Thei saw on TV boxs dat teh d00d dat wuz heer, hurtin yur churchiz, now hez helpin yur churchiz.
24 An thei saed gud thignz abuot Ceiling Cat.

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Luke 7:11-17
Jebus Raises a Dead Box Kitteh

11 Ltr, Jebus goed to Nain, an hiz minnyons and lotz o doodz went wit him.
12 When he got to da base, he seed a box kitteh that wuz dead--the only kitteh of his mom, and her husbin wuz dead too. And lotz o doodz frum da base wuz wit her.
13 When Jebus seed her, he was liek "Oh noes, dunt cry laydee!"
14 Then he goed and touched teh dead kitteh's box, and the guyz that wuz carryin it were like, "Dood!" Jebus sed, "Kitteh, I say to you, get up!"
15 The dead kitteh sat up and said, "I can haz cheezburgr?", and Jebus gived him back to hiz mom, and she wuz all happy an stuff.
16 Teh hole base wuz all amazed and said "Ceiling Cat is da bomb! Jebus is so kewl! Kthxbai."
17 And lotz more ppl heard abt Jebus bcuz they wanted him to raiz their dead kittehs too.

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The End of the Tale: Patience

This post is the true account of the ending of Girlfriends: A Heartbreaking Tale.
Click on the link to read the sad story.

At that very moment, John just happened to start up the tractor to work on the problem that arose in the driveway when we were trying to finish landscaping it. The girls always stop what they are doing and run to the tractor and wait for their turn in the new hole so that they can dig for newly uncovered grubs. And so the three girlfriends did just that, and waited for their turn in the new hole. Their argument was forgotten. Talk about deus ex machina*! Hens can be petty and argumentative — but also patient.

*A deus ex machina ( or , literally, in Latin, "god from the machine") is a plot device in which a person or thing appears "out of the blue" to help a character to overcome a seemingly insolvable difficulty. Source: http://www.google.com/search?num=
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Girlfriends: A Heartbreaking Tale

It was a beautiful spring day to walk together on the road next to the woods. We had so much to talk about. Our combs were red, our feathers preened, our panties were all fluffy and bouncy. We certainly looked better than our poor sisters on that dreadful night of the raccoons. And we knew it!

But the others began to get ahead of me, walking faster, talking quietly to each other and cutting me out . . .and they were my friends!! Why did they do this? What did I do??

Finally, they simply stepped aside and talked about me while I was standing right there watching! I called to them quietly, I was sad, nearly crying. I wanted them to be my friends. We’d had such a great time until now!

I walked towards them but they looked back at me and took a step away from me! I couldn’t stand it! My best friends were acting like my worst enemies now! Like they wouldn’t care if I was eaten by the raccoon either! Perhaps they wish I had been! They wanted me dead, too!

I can’t take it anymore! I’ll get them!!! They deserve what they get!

How did this end? Click here to find out! Like many girls this age, they argued and made up and were friends again. They had more walks, laid more eggs, and shared Japanese beetle larva again.

But Nate suggested that there could be an alternative ending, an ending to warn all of us of the dangers of cliques, jealousy and anger. Click here to view this ending, but be warned that this ending may be too overwhelming for you.

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Hens in the Lilies (Again)

John and I were preparing to finish the landscaping for the driveway and the day lily beds when I looked up and saw the girls eating the ones we had already planted. Again. I shooed them out. Again. I don’t know why I expend the energy to shoo them out of the flowers when they only return as soon as I am gone.

So, the 10 minute culminating chore that John and I attempted to finisih on the driveway ended up being a three day frustration (more on that in another post). As I waited for John to work on the problem that arose in the driveway, I took these photos. I love photographing chickens because of the way they run. I can’t get enough of them!

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A Women's Retreat: The Seasons of Our Lives

On Saturday, May 22, the Women's Fellowship at church held another wonderful Women's Retreat. It was held at Lakeside Haven B&B in Glover, on Shadow Lake. This is the third retreat I have attended and now that I'm back in Vermont I look forward to attending more. The retreats give you a day of tranquility, worship, study and discussion.

The theme for this retreat was "The Seasons of Our Lives," based on the book The Circle Of Life: The Heart's Journey Through The Seasons. I haven’t read it yet, but our pastor recommends it, and her recommendations are excellent. We have four seasons in our lives just as Nature has four seasons in hers. We discussed the significance and meaning of each season for each of us individually. Our pastor provided music for meditation and beautiful journals for journaling and we shared poetry and readings from the book all through the day.

We each contributed something we cooked for lunch. After lunch, we crafted the seasons of our hearts. I choose summer. The retreat was exactly one week before my wedding and the calm and contentment I felt was something that I wanted to convey in my craft. I wanted the warmth of the summer, the symbolic power of a circle and the connection to sunflowers in my creation. My last craft for another retreat featured triangles which, the pastor said, illustrated my connection to the Trinity. During the crafting session, I walked outside to gather my thoughts and photographed the grape hyacinth and the dying tulip that I have published here. I may not be too talented with art, but I was pleased with what I created (below), even though I used way too much glue. The other women created beautiful, strong expressions of the other seasons. I wish I could share them with you here.

We ended the day as we began it: with worship but now followed by a long goodbye session. It was a wonderful, spiritual day. Our pastor is planning many more and I am looking forward to them. I urge you to attend the retreats offered at your church. If there aren’t any, suggest them to your Women’s Fellowship group.

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Breaking Into the House

Now that the foundation and floor of the Big Room have been repaired, it is time to break through to the original house so that the floor plan is more open and hospitable. The Big Room will be the new living room. The original house wall is about 9 inches away from the wall of the Big Room addition. You can see the original 110 year old clapboards are still there, as were hundreds of spiders and a mess of electrical wires. An animal hole — mouse hole? — in the old house is visible, as are mice urine trails. The clapboards have been removed and are being saved. The kitchen is on the other side of the house wall.

Above, you can see the animal hole in the original wall.

The pile on the bottom left corner of the photo is mouse feces. The builders of the addition stood the studs for the wall of the addition on top of this pile of feces! They did not even bother to clean the mess before they installed the studs.

You can see, above, a bit of the spider infestation between the walls.

The ceiling joists were covered with mouse feces and chewed insulation.

As mice travel, they dribble urine behind them. This signals other mice and leaves trails for mice to follow. The urine trails are also what hawks and owls see when they hunt mice. And they are also how cats and dogs are able to find mice to eat. On the old clapboards above, you can see the effect of decades of mice urine trails on the wall.

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Catgirl Stars As Brachiosaurus!

In May, the Kindergarten and first grades presented Dinomotion! for their spring production at school. Nate and Amy, John and I went to see it. I had my new long lens, which was a huge benefit to getting these shots. Catgirl is in Kindergarten and was at times nervous, shy, tired and happy. When Catgirl saw me and John, she waved to us and we saw her relax a bit. She had her first solo part as the Brachiosaurus and her father had helped her learn her part perfectly. She was a beautiful star that night! You have to forgive me posting so many photographs of her . . . she is just so cute that I couldn’t select just a couple shots.

After the show, Amy & Nate treated us all to ice cream sundaes (except John, who doesn’t particularly care for it) at Tim & Doug’s in Newport. We walked on the boardwalk at Memphremagog, where Ironman told us to watch out for whales and dolphins.

Tim & Doug's Ice Cream Stand is the best place for ice cream!

Lake Memphremagog
Bear Mountain (Vermont) on the left.
Owl's Head (Quebec) on the right.

John and I stopped for sunset photos in Coventry

on the way home from this great evening.

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Best Laid Plans: Moose Tracks

Route 16, which goes by the house, has been repaved. It's been a long process. On May 17, the crew finally had laid the new shoulders of blue stone. They had expensive machinery pounding the stone in the shoulder in a solid, hard mass. This isn't the soft, sandy shoulders of the old road. And then overnight . . . a big, old moose came out of the bog, walked down the road on the new shoulder for almost a quarter of a mile before it crossed the road to the mountain. The shoulder there is permanently holey now. So much for the hard work of that crew.

On the same day, Amelia and I took all three dogs for a walk. I have Willow, so you don't see her. Here is Amelia with Scout and Sophie. Our house is way, way back (that white speck), and the mountain is Barton Mountain, the middle hump. Barton Mountain has three humps: big, medium (in the middle) and small. From where we live, the mountain does not look like a mountain. But that is because we are only about 800 feet (244 m) from the summit, which is at 2, 235 feet (681 m).

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Renovations: Missing Foundations

Above, you see the newly built stone foundation that John had to replace on the house. This is at the eastern wall under the main house. The Big Room addition was built without a foundation. The floor joists were sitting on a single pile of broken bricks! So using granite stones (originally quarried at our own quarry over 100 years ago) found in the old cellar hole, John built the foundation you see here.

The next problem was what you see here: the floor joists of the same room, on the north wall, were completely exposed to the earth outside of the house. The builders had simply covered the insulated joists that you see here with aluminum flashing. Therefore, the mice could move freely from their tunnels in the soil right into the insulation. The entire house was a mouse luxury condo!

Above you may be able to see a granite foundation stone that had been used to prop up the joists. The sill was completely rotted out. The wall was essentially hanging off of the ceiling joists, floating in air.

Above: John and his tractor are pulling out the misplaced granite foundation stone. It wasn’t doing a bit of good where it was and prevented access to the cellar hole under the Big Room.

After the stone was removed and the area cleaned, John rebuilt this section of the foundation. Here you can see a concrete foundation wall that John poured. If you look closely (or click on the photo), you can see Zorro’s paw prints in the concrete. The cat thought this was a terrific entrance and exit to the house. But the wall is closed now and Zorro has to use the doors.

Here, the foundation is completed with cement blocks and mortar. The cellar hole is now sealed. The siding will be replaced properly to protect the floor joists and wall studs. We are crossing our fingers that we don’t find many more severe structural problems!

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