LOL Cat Bible: Lectionary Readings for Sunday, August 30, 2009

Sunday, August 30, 2009

Song of Solomon 2:8-13 or
Deuteronomy 4:1-2, 6-9
Psalm 45:1-2, 6-9 or Psalm 15
James 1:17-27
Mark 7:1-8, 14-15, 21-23

Song of Solomon 2:8-13

8 Teh voice of my lover! Srsly, joo look, he's jumping round. Like superman. WTF?

9 My lover is a row or hart, and he is playing hidengoseek threw teh windo. I see joo!

10 Shh, he said, "Sup. OMG, let's go.

11 Winter's over. Nice, cuz rain is wet.

12 It is teh spring! Dere is flowers growed, birdies out of tune, and turtles is talkin. Srsly, wtf up wit dat?

13 Teh fig tree is put for her green figz, and teh grapez smell nice. Get up, plz, kthx.

Deuteronomy 4

OBEDIENCE OR ANNIHILATION

1 ISRAEL! Listen to teh rulez! Follow dem so dat u can liv an cud go in an nap in da houz dat CEILING CAT, Teh CEILING CAT ov ur fathers, iz given u.
2 Keep teh laws ov teh lord ur Ceilin Cat dat i giv u. no changin.
3 U saw wut teh Lord did at Baal Peor. Teh lord ur Ceilin Cat destroyd all hoo followd teh Baal ov Peor,
4 But all u hoo held fast 2 teh lord ur Ceilin Cat r still aliv todai, asidez Jim. 1 8 An wut othr hous iz so kewl as 2 has such awsum laws as mah laws I'm given ya todai?
5 C, i has taught u laws as lord mah Ceilin Cat commandd me, so dat u cud follow them in da land u r enterin 2 taek posesshun ov it.
6 look carefully, 4 dis will show ur smarts 2 teh haus, hoo will hear bout all thees laws an say, "surely dis great haus iz wize an understandin peeps ayup."
7 Wut othr houz iz so great as 2 has their godz near them teh wai teh Ceilin Kat r God iz near us whenevr we pray 2 him, asidez us?

Psalm 45 1 Meh hart is can be oberflode wit many goodz themez; I tellz my tayulz abowt da Kingz; Meh tung bez da pen uv a reddy riter. 2 Yew be shinyer den teh kidz of manz, srsly; Teh grase be dumpt upon j00 moufz; Dat meanz Ceiling Cat has gived you cheezbrgr 4 eva 3 Gloo Ur sharp stikz all on Ur thie, O Beefeh Onez, Wit Ur shinyness an Ur majesties.. 4 An in Ur majesties ride wiff lots of moniez 'cuz uv trufe, humilitiez, and wighteousnessess; An Ur rite hand will beez uv teaching Yew awesomeful thingz. 5 Ur arrowz be shawp in teh hart uv teh King’s eminees; Teh peoplez fall undur Yew. 6 Yer thrown, O Ceiling Cat, be ferevah and evah; A shiny stik uv wighteousnessess be teh shinky stik uv teh floor. 7 j00 has a love fore teh wighteousnessess and you be hatin teh ebil; So cuzza dat Ceiling Cat, Ur Ceiling Cat, said you can has cheezburger Wit teh most flavrful flavrz evor made, moar den Ur bffs. 8 All Ur clothz be smelling good wiff allowz n stuff, From teh shiney white places, wat haz maed youz happeh. 9 Kingz dotters arez hangin' out wiff Ur sweet sweet laydeez; At Ur rite hand is chillin teh kween in teh shiny yelloh metalz from Ophir. 10 Hay! Pay atenshun, O dotter, Fink carefullies and maek shure yu heer; Furget about ur own d00dz, an ur Daddy's howse; 11 So dat da King will think you be super hawttz; 'Cuz Him be ur Lawd, so yew bettr know him be sweet. 12 An teh dotter of Tyre will comes wiff a treasure for yoo; Even dem wiff lots of monies will want to be ur favorite. 13 Teh royal dotter be all shiney wit da palace d00dz; Her wearz be made wiff teh shiny yellow mettal. 14 After puttin' on teh ritz, she will go to teh King; Teh laydeez who know not whur teh harbl goes, the wimmenz who are her bffs, are also goings to be a treasure for you. 15 They will say 'O hai!' and has many happiez; And be in ur palace, srsly. 16 Ur daddies will leaf an ur kidz will be dere, And it's ok if u wantz them to of be being a prinse. 17 I will makes you famus for all da chillens in da fyucher; So teh ppl will give yew cheezburgrz ferevar n evar. kthnxbai.

Psalm 15 1 Oh, hai, Ceiling Cat, hu gona curl up in ur tabby-nackle? Hu gona pet ur fuzy bely? 2 Teh d00dz taht stan up strate, flip cheezburgrz 4 minimum w/out complanez, n no lyez. 3 Teh d00dz taht not trols, not pulz ur leg, not DOS atak ppl, n not get retardid. 4 Teh d00dz taht no a trol wehn tehy seez him; but greetz 2 teh d00dz taht is chiken o Ceiling cat. Oh, n no politishuns. DO NOT WANT. 5 N DO NOT WANT d00dz taht lone u mony for cheezburgr but wan interist on toozday. U r so pwnd!

see more Lolcats and funny pictures

James 1:17-27

17 Oh and everting good that will ever happen to you is because of the Ceiling Cat. Now u see why I like him, lol.
18 And he wrote that FAQ for us so we should thank him and stuff.

Lissen an den taik axshun
19 STFU when Ceiling Cat is talking. Also chill out, no TKs.
20 Cuz Ceiling Cat NOT WANT yu be mad.
21 And stop DL so much porn.
22 But make sure yu unnerstand the FAQ before yu start playing around.
23 But dont just read the FAQ, do sum of the examples too cuz dey helpful. Peepuls who not do that is stupid.
24 And leik, dont think ur all hot soup cuz you just read the FAQ.
25 So leik, make sure you do the stuff right. Don't just talk about it, k?
26 Nobdy who follows teh Ceiling Cat can say bad things. Is not gud. Celing cat shoot you with lazer eyes. Srsly.
27 Gud ppls follow FAQ and halp teh otehrs.

Mark 7:1-8, 14-15, 21-23

Whut haz gud flavr an dont

1 Teh Pharisees and teechurs uv lawz go way frum Jerusalem to see Happy Cat.
2 Dey seed sum uv Happy Cat frenz go NUMNUMNUM but handz iz dirtieded, EWWW!
3 (Pharisees an jooz no liek flavr wifout speshul washded hans liek alwayz tradishun.
4 Wen dey go by foodz, alwyz cleen hans. Also jooz got lotsa tradishun bout washdeding foodz buckets.)
5 So teh Pharisees and teechurs axed Happy Cat, "OMGWTF!!!1!!1 Howcum ur guyz not haz washded liek tradishun an getz dirty flavr? Srsly."
6 Him sez, "LOLZ, Isaiah noze u wen he sez bout u fakerz; cuz teh Bibul sez:
" 'Deez guyz sayded gud stuf wif moufs,
but insydz deyz no got bukkit.
7 Dey wurshup me for nuffin;
dey iz tolded evrywun stuff thatz jus mayd up.'
8 Ur having forgetted wut Ceiling Cat tolded and u jus lieks tradishun."

14 Agin Happy Cat callz peepul and sez, "O hai, ai can has u lissen me?
15 'Dirty' frum outsyd iz not bad flavr. Nsted, iz bad flavr 'dirty' frum insyd.'"

21 Insyd peeplz harts iz big bukkit of meenyness, buttseks, taykin stuff, kil kittehs, harbl goes WHERE?
22 want moar, scratchinz, lyin, yuckies, not liek udder kittehs, tawk bad abowt kittehs, thinked dey bettr kittehs and lotza stoopidz.
23 Theez bad stuff frum insyd and makez 'dirty.' "

Weekend Cat Blogging
#221 Aug 29-30 is being held by Mr Tigger
at The M-Cats Club

Bad Kitty Cats Festival of Chaos
Edition 107 | Sep 06, 2009
Kashim & Othello and Salome
(submit your post here)

The Carnival of the Cats
#285 is going to When Cats Attack Sunday Evening
(submit your post here)

Ree-purrted by KC

News from Ceiling Cat!

August 18th, 2009

Working on a not so secret project.

You can pre-order now and everything! Spread the word. What will your Aunt think of it? As always you can chat with Ceiling Cat right on his twitter.

Visit the Pet Prayer & Praise Blog

Kitty Limericks

Technorati Tags: LOL Cat Church, LOL Cat Bible, Lectionary Readings, Prayer & Praise Blog, Weekend Cat Blogging_/\_/\_

BOOM

see more Funny Graphs

For Amelia & John

Mythbusters is here.

_/\_/\_

Yup, I Do Need CSS Help

Remember last week when I hollered "Help!" and then said "Never mind!"? Well it turns out that I do need help. Above is a screen shot of this blog as seen in Google Chrome, Safari, Camino, Firefox and Flock on both a PC and a Mac (as applicable). The left and right gutters should be the same size (small) and the right sidebar should be left justified. I don't know what I have done to the blog template and if you could help me figure it out, I'll be indebted to you!

Below is a screen shot of the blog as seen on Internet Explorer 8 — and the blog page is just right. It is also right in IE6. But in any other browser I have tested, whether Mac or PC, the blog is rendered wrong. Can you help?


Please leave a comment or email me (on the top of the right sidebar). If you don't know, ask somebody who might!

UPDATE: I looked at Firefox on a PC when this post loaded and it looks correct. Last night and this morning it was wrong. So what's going on here? One moment it's good, the next moment it's bad.

_/\_/\_

Great Internet Mersenne Prime Search

Some of you long time readers may remember way back in August of 2007 when I tried to run GIMPS on my new MacBook. That didn't work out because I never spent the time I needed to spend on figuring out the installation and setup for the Mac. But if you click on the user summary link above, you will hopefully see my newly established GIMPS account. I'm back on the search for a Mersenne prime number after a break of 10 years (which was the last time I had unlimited access to a PC but I got caught and had to stop running the program).

From the graphic here you see that Mersenne primes are in the form of (2^p)-1. Pick any number for p. Use that as the exponent for 2. Then subtract 1 from the product. If the difference is prime, the prime is called a Mersenne prime.

Read more at Mersenne Primes: History, Theorems and Lists, maintained by Chris K. Caldwell.

This has all happened because of my new Dell PC. I'm still a MacAddict but have added this machine (a gift from John) to ease my photography problems. And while I'm at it, I can do other stuff, like GIMPS, that I couldn't do on a Mac.

I'm going to re-submerge myself in more caffeine and smoke now . . .

_/\_/\_

Campground Road - Route 11 Bike Loop

One of our favorite bike rides is the Campground Road Loop. We leave the house and get to Campground Road and go north until Route 4A. Above, you see Wingnut riding up Route 4A. This was just after he flew out of Camppground Road onto Route 4A in front of the only car on the whole road, nearly getting killed, and nearly killing me with a heart attack so badly that I dropped my bike. I rested until my heart rate got to normal levels and took this photo of him.

I made this little map on Google Earth. I wanted to make a tour for you but I couldn't load a demo Google Earth tour to see what a tour is. Sooner or later I will learn how. But you can use the ruler tool on Google Earth to see how many miles you have traveled. You can also do it on Google Maps (which has a better tool that follows the roads).

On Route 4A we travel east until Route 11. This is a wonderful stretch of rolling hills and a great downhill run (which, if you don't know what you are doing, can be dangerous). I only hit 21 mph on the downhill. Yup, I was chicken. Anyhow, the directions of my new speedometer/odometer are too tiny for me to read so I don't have my elapsed time.
I stopped at the intersection of Route 4A and 11 to take photos of the Cilleyville Bog Covered Bridge. Above, you see Wingnut riding up to it. This bridge was built in 1887. It is New Hampshire's Covered Bridge #16. I don't know, yet, what the 16 refers to.

If you want to see a better photo of this bridge, click here.

Below you see the view of Ragged Mountain from the Scilleyville Bridge on Rt 11 in the east. Ragged Mountain has hiking and skiing trails. And golf. Another all-year resort.

Finally, here is one of my favorite photos this summer of Wingnut on the bridge with his bike. The bike actually belonged to John's son but I got it all tuned up in town for Wingnut to use this summer. It's his first full-size bike.
This is a great short loop ride. It is 4.26 miles (6.9 km), with views of mountains, quiet roads, rolling terrain and an historic covered bridge. The next time I ride it and I have my camera fixed (more about that story in a future post) I'll show you the scenery that I completely failed to shoot this day.

Bike Loop: Campground Rd-Rt 4A-Rt 11 Set on Flickr

Technorati Tags: Cilleyville Bog Bridge covered bridge New Hampshire Ragged Mountain Del.icio.us Tags: Cilleyville Bog Bridge covered bridge New Hampshire Ragged Mountain Flickr Tags: Cilleyville Bog Bridge covered bridge New Hampshire Ragged Mountain Furl Tags: Cilleyville Bog Bridge covered bridge New Hampshire Ragged Mountain
_/\_/\_

No CSS Help Is Needed (I Think)

A commenter on my CSS Help Needed post said that in IE6 the blog looks fine. I sprinted across the room to look at the blog on John's PC. He uses IE8. And sure enough, the blog looked fine. I remembered then that I had increased the point size on my Macintosh browsers because they were hard to read on the small laptop screen. The way blogs are designed, they use the room as coded from left to right on the window. If the blog runs out of room, the last column on the right gets weird. And that is, apparently, what has happened. Yes, I am embarrassed to have publicly displayed my disorganized memory.

My only concern now is that I don't think, but can't remember, that I ever changed the point size on Camino and it is behaving exactly as Flock and Safari behave (big gutter, center justified text). I need to find those sites that show you how your blog looks on different platforms and browsers. Now — where are those links . . . . .
_/\_/\_

Morey's Pond: A Natural History Adventure

In the middle of July we hiked around Morey Pond in Andover (elevation 1329 ft (405 m)) and saw many things that taught Wingnut about natural history. I thought this post would be an opportunity for you to see how we three explore nature together. All links are either to wikipedia.org articles that you can use for more information, to other posts on my blogs, or to photos on Flickr. If you click on a photo, you will open a new page to the Morey's Pond Set I created on Flickr for this hike. From that new page you may choose to view a larger image. Our greatest source of information is John, the most learned naturalist I have ever met. When none of us know a thing, or when we want to learn more, we search the Internet. Often, we find details in my photographs that we need to investigate more, also. Each hike, bike ride or kayaking trip is full of wonder, beauty and learning.

Geography

The first three photographs are scenic views of Mount Kearsarge as seen from the pond trail. Kearsarge has a fascinating history and geology. Kearsarge is classified as a monadnock mountain and can therefore be seen from numerous places in this area.



Morey Pond (or Morey's Pond) is listed in extremely brief mentions on the web as a reservoir for Andover, NH. There is a dam at the opposite end of the remote parking area. When we were at the dam, I turned around and photographed this outlet of the pond that runs to the dam (below). Beavers are re-engineering the human dam to better serve their own needs.

PLANTS: The plant life is typical for this area.

Above: Blue fruit of Lily of the Valley (Convallaria majalis).

These blueberries are the reason we went to Morey Pond: to see how the crop was this summer. In Vermont the blueberry farm was smaller than the acreage of wild blueberry bushes here! There are both low and high bush berries on the pond. They had just begun to ripen and we planned to return for picking. But because of construction in the house, two heat waves, grief from the cats, and other things, we never did.

Above: Blue Flag (Iris versicolor) is one of my favorite wildflowers.

Above: I haven't yet identified this mushroom (I could simply holler across the room and ask John but I haven't!).

Above: Cinnamon Fern (Osmunda cinnamomea)

Animal Life

Above: John and I saw this bird scat on a shoulder high branch with dead branches above it. Some carnivorous bird (but not an owl), such as a hawk or eagle, left this here while perched above waiting for prey.

Above and below: evidence of beaver (Castor canadensis). Above you see John standing while waiting for Wingnut to tie his shoe. We are near a tree that was not quite felled by beaver last winter. How do we know that they chewed it in the winter? The cut is high above the ground at just the height that the snow pack would be. A beaver can not climb a tree to cut it down and are not big enough to chew it at this height. The weathering of the cuts on the wood also tell us it was a few months ago that it was chewed. Below you see a closer shot of the tooth marks on the tree.

Above: the human dam as the beavers re-design it. I choose this shot because of the water effects that I got (after two years of trying) in the camera.

Above: halfway between the parking area and the dam is this underground beaver lodge on an outlet (or beaver canal) of the pond. I don't see too many lodges built under the bank of a stream, so this was a treat. I wanted to poke around inside it but was too nervous to try. Who knows who lived there still?

Above: a woodpecker tree. Used for food and nesting but I don't know by what species. Nobody was in residence this season. This was probably made by a pileated woodpecker (Dryocopus pileatus).

Above: a Red-spotted Newt (Notophthalmus viridescens viridescens) that I almost stepped on.

Above: A Green Frog (Rana clamitans melanota)

Morey's Pond Set

Finally, below you will find links to the blogs, photos and links of other people on Delicious, Technorati, Furl (now Diigo) and Flickr. These are excellent resources for any person interested in natural history. Often an amateur naturalist will have a clearer description or a better photo than a professionally created guide book.. Compulsive bloggers, like myself, will take the time to research what we post and to correctly tag every single post and photograph with the scientific and common names of plants and animals. I have organized my Flickr sets into collections of wildflowers, birds, insects, and more to make it easier for people to browse and perhaps identify a creature or plant from outdoors. Click here to see my collections.

Take advantage of our efforts for you and use us as a resource. We've learned a phenomenal amount about genus, species, origins of names and common misidentifications. On your next outing, take a close look around to see what you can find!

Technorati Tags: Green Frog Rana clamitans melanota Pileated Woodpecker Dryocopus pileatus Red-spotted Newt Notophthalmus viridescens viridescens beaver Castor canadensis Cinnamon Fern Osmunda cinnamomea Blue Flag Iris versicolor blueberries Lily of the Valley Convallaria majalis Mount Kearsarge Morey Pond Andover New Hampshire

Del.icio.us Tags: Green Frog Rana clamitans melanota Pileated Woodpecker Dryocopus pileatus Red-spotted Newt Notophthalmus viridescens viridescens beaver Castor canadensis Cinnamon Fern Osmunda cinnamomea Blue Flag Iris versicolor blueberries Lily of the Valley Convallaria majalis Mount Kearsarge Morey Pond Andover New Hampshire

Flickr Tags: Green Frog Rana clamitans melanota Pileated Woodpecker Dryocopus pileatus Red-spotted Newt Notophthalmus viridescens viridescens beaver Castor canadensis Cinnamon Fern Osmunda cinnamomea Blue Flag Iris versicolor blueberries Lily of the Valley Convallaria majalis Mount Kearsarge Morey Pond Andover New Hampshire

Furl Tags: Green Frog Rana clamitans melanota Pileated Woodpecker Dryocopus pileatus Red-spotted Newt Notophthalmus viridescens viridescens beaver Castor canadensis Cinnamon Fern Osmunda cinnamomea Blue Flag Iris versicolor blueberries Lily of the Valley Convallaria majalis Mount Kearsarge Morey Pond Andover New Hampshire
_/\_/\_

Turnip's Last Photos

At the very end of July very early in the morning, Zorro brought another mouse into the house. Of course, the mouse was alive. Zorro dropped his prey as soon as I praised him and Possum and Turnip promptly claimed it. They tried to put it in my purse. When I said no, they tried to take it to bed to give to John but I said no again. Here is Turnip trying to find a spot in the house where he can enjoy the mouse. As soon as the mouse died all the cats went outside for more.

Within 36 hours, Turnip walked all the way out to the road and was hit.

_/\_/\_

Wingnut's American Toad

Bufo americanus americanus

Wingnut caught this American Toad back in July. He has learned how to observe and safely capture creatures for study without harming them (although I am sure that the Nature Conservancy or the National Wildlife Federation would consider it wildlife harrassment). Wingnut does real good for a city kid! You can see all of our American Toad photos in the American Toad Set. This was taken with my old Kodak Z710 Zoom camera which I seem to have since lost.
_/\_/\_

CSS Help Needed

If anyone knows how to repair my blog template here, could you please email me (use the e-mail button on the right sidebar)? The gutter between the middle and right sidebar used to be the same width as between the left and middle sidebar. Also, none of the text in the right sidebar should be center justified.

I know that awhile back I was messing with the template code but I am pretty sure that I discarded and did not save any changes. For all I know, Google has been messing with stuff again (like they did with the pic sizing codes).

I know that if given enough time I could solve this. But perhaps I would make it worse, too. So if you could tell me what to do to fix this, I would be eternally grateful! Thank you.

_/\_/\_

Before & After

There is a lot of construction going on here at home. John is rennovating a large room into offices for us both. Wingnut and I moved our painting projects into the area, also. I had bought an old iron bed in Barton years ago but never refinished it. Above, you see it with one half of the first coat of paint on it. Below you see a chair and chest of drawers that we repainted for the small guest room that Wingnut is using this summer.

The house is still chaotic and horribly dusty from the sawdust. The only things I have unpacked are my kitchen things, a few books, my clothes and my computer and cameras. But when the rennovations are done and I am unpacked it will be a beautiful home.

Below you see the finished guest room. There is still work to be done (I need the proper curtains, some wall plates and wall hangings, lamp, rug). I am very proud of this iron bed! Buddy, of course, jumped right up when the camera came out. He makes a great addition to the room.

Buddy, who has been in love with Wingnut since they met years and years ago when Wingnut was tiny, was just in heaven when Wingnut joined us in the finished bedroom. I confess to being a bit jealous of their relationship because my Buddy isn't mine for two months every year when Wingnut is with us!

This work was done in July but I simply have not had the heart to stay up to date with the blogs because of our sad losses of Charlie and Turnip. But I think I will begin to catch up now.

_/\_/\_

LOL Cat Bible: Lectionary Readings for Sunday, August 23, 2009

Sunday, August 23, 2009

1 Kings 8.[1, 6, 10–11] 22–30, 41–43
Psalm 84
Joshua 24.1,2a, 14–18
Psalm 34.15–end
Ephesians 6.10–20
John 6.56–69

1 Kings 8.[1, 6, 10–11] 22–30, 41–43
Solomon bringz teh ark an stuffs to Ceiling Cat's hause

1 Solomon getted elderz of Israel an all hedz of tribez, chiefs ov dads ov kittehs of Isreal, so dey bring ark ov covenant of Ceiling Cat frm city of David.
6 An priests bringed teh ark into teh oracle of teh hause (most holi plase!) undr cherub wings.
10 When preists were com out ov holi plase, ther was cloud. But not fart cloud, LOLZ. Wuz not smelly.
11 Teh preists no could minister ther becaus of cloud. OMG! Teh glory of Ceiling Cat filled teh hause!!1!
22 An Solomon stood at ark wif teh kittehs an he puts his paws in teh air.
23 Then Solomon sed, "Ceiling Cat, ther iz no kitteh liek u in teh ceiling, or in da urfs. U keeps covenant an mercee wif servents that luv u cuz ur totalee kewl.
24 You stays wif my dad an talks wif him an fulfilled stuff wif him.
25 So plz Ceiling Cat, my dad can has help to keep good kittehs on throne?
26 Plz to has veriffcaton? Thx.
27 Da urfs no can contain Ceiling Cat. Teh holi hause not big, eithr. WOW OMG Ceiling Cat IZ HUGE!!!1!
28 I makes you a prayer an I hope u lieks it:
29 Plz to watch hause day n night an teh plase wif my name wher servant makes u a prayer.
30 An lissen to servants when tey pray toward teh hause an forgiv them, plz to has.
41 An about weird doods from othr plases that lov u an wanna liv in Israel:
42 (They will heer about u) When he prais toward teh hous,
43 Heers it, an kitteh can has what kitteh wants.

Psalm 84 1 Ceiling Cat haz teh bestestest ov houzez, O yeah. 2 I wantz 2 curl up in teh houz of teh Ceiling Cat and can haz cheezburgr. 3 Teh birdiez, teh swallowz An teh sparrowz who makez teh baybee chickeez I laiks 2 chase An eat, we haz all napped in teh houz of teh Ceiling Cat. 4 Hai Ceiling Cat, the kittehs in ur houz say kthx for making teh cheezburgrz alwaiz. 5 Hai Ceiling Cat, teh kittehs cldn’t chazez teh birdiez widdout u. 6 Teh Ceiling Cat alwaiz makz teh litter box cleen 4 teh kittehs. 7 An we climbz treez hai 2 see teh Ceiling Cat. 8 O yeah Ceiling Cat, we luv u. An dat Jacob dood laiks u 2, so lissen, eh? 9 Lookit Ceiling Cat, lookit ma tail. 10 I can haz ly in ur houz onlee 4 1day, itz bettr’n mastubatin out in teh tentz all teh time. 11 Cuz u givez cookiez An cheezburgrz An keepz teh dogz away from teh kittehs dat laiks u An walkz on 4 pawz bhind u. 12 Dey dat laiks teh Ceiling Cat will alwaiz have cheezburgrz An nap in ur houz. kthx bai.

see more Lolcats and funny pictures

Joshua 24.1,2a, 14–18
Rahab an der Spiez

1 Joshua sentz 2 spiezecats frm Shittim an sed “Chex0r out teh lands speshly JericoCat lawlz!”. They went 2 teh landz n steyed in HookerKitty hoose.
2 Teh Kingzor herd of teh spiezecats an tolded teh guardz:
14 Teh speizekats sez "K! U doan tel an wheel protexx U n yr Famabalies"
15 So she bryng out looong peece uv string, nawt fur play wit, but 2 climb down wall uv citi.
16 She tellz dem to run way an hyde. Tehn wayt 3 daze bein hidden an den tehy wil B saef.
17 Teh 3 spiez sez "Wee wil keep promiss,
18 butt wen ar armi cums heer, U will lett uz no wer U liv an yor famablies wil B in yr hows. Srsly.

Psalm 34 1 I r always talkins of Ceiling Cat I r always say good tings. 2 My soul r brag 'bout Ceiling Cat Let teh poor kittehs hear n be happies. 3 Lets rave 'bout Ceiling Cat lets prase his kewl name togedder. 4 I meowed for Ceiling Cat an he answred me He r save me from teh scary tings. 5 Teh kittehs dat trust him is happy cats Dey nevar hav shameful face. 6 Dis poor kitteh called HALP! An Ceiling Cat heerded him, He savded teh poor kitteh. 7 Teh Wingcat of teh Ceiling Cat is neer teh kittehs dat is respektful of him, an halps dem. 8 Taste n u will see, dis Ceiling Cat has a flavr. Cheezburgrs for teh kitteh dat seeks him. 9 Repekt teh Ceiling Cat, u good kittehs Cuz respektful kittehs get all de good tings. 10 Teh big cats is gettinz weak n hungries But kittehs who findz Ceiling Cat can has cheezburgrs. 11 Come to me, babby kittehs I r goins teech u to respekt Ceiling Cat 12 U kittehs dat luv life an r wants to haz 9 lives 13 Say no evil - mak shur cat have ur tongue! An never tell lies n stuff. 14 Point ur tail at evil and do lotsa good tings look for peece n chase it liek a maus. 15 Ceiling Cat is watchin teh good kittehs An his ears is listenins for dere cries. 16 Ceiling Cat not look at kittehs dat do evil tings He r delete dem from teh memory of teh urfs. 17 Teh good kittehs meow, and Ceiling Cat heers dem. He are savins dem from teh sad tings. 18 Ceiling Cat r cuddlin teh kittehs whose harts is broked An he r rescuins kittehs wit crushded spirits. 19 A good kitteh may havs lotsa trubbles but Ceiling Cat r goin to halp him. 20 Ceiling Cat r garding call teh kitteh's bonez Te kitteh r not have breakded bonez. 21 Evil r goinz to kill teh bad kittehs Teh enemiez of all good kittehs r goins to be uthanized. 22 Ceiling Cat freez his kitteh d00ds; No kitteh dat trusts in him is goinz to be doomd.

see more Lolcats and funny pictures

Ephesians 6.10–20
Ceiling Cat: Teh Armurz

10 Ceiling Cat will maek yu strong.
11 Put on teh armurz Ceiling Cat givez yu, so yu pwn Basement Cat.
12 We not pwn otehr normul kittehs, but Basement Cat nd his invisibul kittehs.
13 Maek shur yu not forget any of teh armur. That wai yu will pwn.
14 There is teh belt of teh trueness and teh body armur of teh gud.
15 Teh armur shoes iz maed of teh FAQ, so yu can has brainz.
16 Dun forget teh sheeld! It savs yur laif frum teh firy arows.
17 Helmet is made of saves, and teh sword is of teh Hovrcat.
18 Prey 2 teh Ceiling Cat all teh timez. Not fall asleep or forget to preyz!
19 Whiel yur at it, preyz 4 me 2. Ask Ceiling Cat givez me teh brains to unnerstand teh plan.
20 I is in chains. Prey lots!

John 6.56–69

56 Dose dat eat mai flesh n drinkz mai bloodz staiz wit meh n meh wit him.
57 Just as teh Ceiling Cat sint meh n I haz lifz becuz of ceiling cat, so duz dose hoo feedz on meh wud haz lifz becuz of meh.
58 Dis is teh cookiez dat comz down from teh ceiling. Not like momcat and tomcat hoo eatz n dize, dose hoo eatz dis cooki livz forever.
59 Dis was all sed at teh synagogue at Capernaum.

Teh mani homiez o Jebus
60 Teh homiez wuz dare and sed, "WTF? Dis iz diffrnt! Hoo kin hang?"
61 Jebus noo his homiez wuz hissing 'bout dis. He sez, "Homiez! Dis ain't new!
62 Wut if u see'd teh Son of Catz rize up to teh ceiling?
63 It iz teh ghostcat givz lifz, teh flesh don't mattrz! Teh wrds I sed iz sprit n lifz.
64 But dare r kittehz dat don't beleev." Jesus noo dat the kittiez dat didn't beleev wud betryz him.
65 He sez, "Dis b wy I sez nun kin comz to me lest ceiling cat sez so."
66 Lotza kittehs scatz n didn't comz bak.
67 Jebus sed to hiz homiez, "Do u wantz to scatz?"
68 Simon Peter sed to Him, "D00d, wherz we go? U iz teh cookiez of lifz.
69 We beleevz u iz teh wun Ceiling cat sez is goodz stuffz. srsly."

Weekend Cat Blogging
#220 Aug 22-23 is being held by Salome
at Paulchens FoodBlog?!

Bad Kitty Cats Festival of Chaos
Edition 107 | Sep 06, 2009
Kashim & Othello and Salome
(submit your post here)

The Carnival of the Cats
#284 is going to Mind of Mog Sunday Evening
(submit your post here)

Ree-purrted by KC

News from Ceiling Cat!

August 18th, 2009
Working on a not so secret project.
You can pre-order now and everything! Spread the word. What will your Aunt think of it? As always you can chat with Ceiling Cat right on his twitter.

Visit the Pet Prayer & Praise Blog

Thank you all — again— for your words of comfort when we lost Turnip.
We have not been able to blog much, but are beginning to think about it.

Kitty Limericks

Technorati Tags: LOL Cat Church, LOL Cat Bible, Lectionary Readings, Prayer & Praise Blog, Weekend Cat Blogging

_/\_/\_