LOL Cat Bible: Lectionary Readings for Sunday, August 2, 2009

Sunday, August 2, 2009

2 Samuel 11.26—12.13a
Psalm 51.1–12
Exodus 16.2–4, 9–15
Psalm 78.23–29
Ephesians 4.1–16
John 6.24–35

2 Samuel 11.26—12.13a

26 when uriahs wife herd dat her husband wuz ded, she mournd 4 him.
27 aftr teh tiem ov mournin wuz ovar, david had her brought 2 his houz, an she became his wife an bore him son. But teh ting david had dun displeasd teh lord.

Nathan Disses David
1 teh lord sent nathan 2 david. When he came 2 him, he sed, "thar wuz 2 doodz in certain town, wan rich an teh othr poor.
2 teh rich man had vry large numbr ov sheep an kattle,
3 but teh poor man had nothin except wan lil ewe lamb he had buyd. He raisd it, an it grew up wif him an his children. It shard his fud, drank frum his cup an even slept in his arms. It wuz liek daughtr 2 him.
4 "nao travelr came 2 teh rich man, but teh rich man refraind frum takin wan ov his own sheep or kattle 2 prepare meal 4 da travelr hoo had come 2 him. Instead, he took teh ewe lamb dat belongd 2 teh poor man an prepard it 4 da wan hoo had come 2 him."
5 david burnd wif angr against teh man an sed 2 nathan, "as surely as teh lord livez, teh man hoo did dis deservez 2 dye!
6 he must pai 4 dat lamb 4 tiems ovar, cuz he did such ting an had no pity."
7 den nathan sed 2 david, "u r teh man! Dis ar teh wut teh lord, teh ceilin cat ov israel, sez: i anointd u king ovar israel, an i deliverd u frum teh hand ov saul.
8 i gaev ur mastahs houz 2 u, an ur mastahs wivez into ur arms. I gaev u teh houz ov israel an judah. An if all dis had been 2 lil, i wud has given u even moar.
9 y u despize teh werd ov teh lord by doin wut iz evil in his eyez? U struck down uriah teh hittite wif teh sword an took his wife 2 be ur own. U killd him wif teh sword ov teh ammonitez.
10 nao, therefore, teh sword will nevr depart frum ur houz, cuz u despisd me an took teh wife ov uriah teh hittite 2 be ur own.
11 "dis ar teh wut teh lord sez: out ov ur own haushold im goin 2 brin calamity upon u. Before ur vry eyez im gonna taek ur wivez an giv them 2 wan hoo iz close 2 u, an he will lie wif ur wivez in broad dailight.
12 u did it in seekret, but im gonna do dis ting in broad dailight before all israel. "
13 den david sed 2 nathan, "i has sinnd against teh lord." Nathan replid, "teh lord has taken away ur sin. U r not goin 2 dye.

Psalm 51 1 Lyk WHY do u purr cuz of teh ebil, u mighty kitteh? Why do u purr all day long--teh disgrace of teh eyez of teh Ceiling Cat u is nao! 2 U tongue, it be plotting teh destructionz; it be like a sharpened kitteh claw, u who be plotting to steal teh bukkitz. 3 U luv teh pooches (EBIL, lol) an not teh kittehs (GUD, plz); fakerz an not saying teh truthz. 4 In ur kitteh haertz, u has luv for teh ebilness. O, u has a bad tongue! 5 U no Ceiling Cat be punting u down to ruin; he will use u as teh baad scratching post an he will taer u from ur litterbox an he will put u in teh lair of teh pooches! 6 Teh gud kittehs will see an be afraid! They will laff in at him, seyz, 7 "Here be teh kitteh who think he is teh l33t--too l33t for teh Ceiling Cat; he lyked his catnip better than teh Ceiling Cat! He be scratching others an getting strongerz." 8 But I be lyke a blooburry bush an I be flourishin' in teh ceiling fan of teh Ceiling Cat; I putz mah trust in Ceiling Cat's unfailing luvz an I purr his praises forevr and evr. 9 I lift up mah catnip an praizes forevr for wut u has doen for mah life! In ur name I be hoping an I will praize u in teh presence of teh holi kittehs!

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Exodus 16.2–4, 9–15

2 In teh desert teh hole cr00 startid flame war gainst Moses n Aaron.
3 Teh j00s sez 2 tehm, "t00 bad CEILING CAT din pwn us 2 deth in Egypt! Haz cheezburgrz in Egypt, but u bringed us wher no haz cheezburgrz. We is dyin 2 haz cheezburgr."
4 Tehn CEILING CAT sez 2 Moses, "Hakkkkh hakkkhh hakkk hhhhaqqqqqqq blehhhhh", for CEILING CAT did much gruming, and expelt furz and cheezburgrz frum hiz belly. He then sez "I throwz exter cheezburgrz 2 u frum ceiling." An' Moses sez, "gross--want nu cheezburgrz." An' CEILING CAT sez, "OK--Teh ppl are 2 go out each day n gather enuf Nu cheezburgrz 4 taht day. Iz test 2 c if tehy suck."

9 Tehn Moses tol Aaron, "Say 2 teh entire j00 cr00, 'Cum b4 CEILING CAT, 4 him red ur flam war n him not hapy kitteh.'"
10 While Aaron were talkin 2 teh hole j00 cr00, tehy lukd @ teh desert, n there waz teh awsomnes o CEILING CAT in a clowd. Wuz shapd like kitteh, srsly.
11 CEILING CAT was laik Moses,
12 "I herd teh flamin o teh j00s. Tell em, 'At twilight u can haz cheezburgr, n in teh morning u can haz bunz. Tehn u wil no taht I am CEILING CAT.'"
13 taht nite cheezburgrz covered teh camp, n in teh morning was a layer o dew in teh camp.
14 When teh dew were gon, lil flaks like frost on teh groun is on teh sand.
15 When teh j00s saw it, tehy sez, "Wut iz?" 4 tehy did not no wut it was. Moses sez 2 them, "It is teh bunz CEILING CAT givz u.

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Ephesians 4.1–16
No fites in Jebus tairtory

1 Uz marked wid Ceiling Cats sent. Evr bodeh noes uz totly pwnd by Him. So dun be embarasin Ceiling Cat!
2 U gotz be humble leik lil kit. No fites. No meows if u haz to wait fer stufz, or if uthr kittehs gettin on ur nerves. U gotz te act leik u don mind.
3 Even if kittehz askin fer it, dun fite, srsly.
4 All kittehs in Ceiling Cats tairtory no fites. Membr wunz u wuz out, now uz in. Same fer all Ceiling Cats kittehs.
5 We all gotz 1 Loard who pwns us wid Hiz sent.
6 We all gotz 1 Daddy, an Hez de boss uf uz.
7 But all kitteh getz cookie froom Jebus.
8 Der iz paipr sais, "When Jebus climed up teh ceiling, him carried teh kittehs, an gived teh kittehs cookie."
9 Now, if Jebus goed up teh ceiling, he gots get back downd teh floor. Dat jes commin sentz.
10 Jebus goed up an caem down, so he been boef plaisez.
11 Jebus gived sum cookies to teh ol kittehs
12 so dey kin halp de new kittehs
13 an all kittehs kin be groed up kittehs noin bout Jebus an Ceiling Cat.
14 Den weez not itteh bitteh babeh kittehs no moer, all fraid uf scairy noises nstuffs, an totly gulbal an lettin meen kittehs taik ar cheezburgers.
15 Stead, weez leik pride uf big, roarin lions wid Jebus teh King.
16 An allo Jebus kittehs luvs teh uther an halps teh uther. An each do him job, maekin de pride strong.

John 6.24–35

24 Teh kittehz see'd dat Jesus n hiz homiez wuzzint there, dey demselves got into boats n came to Capernaum lookin for Jesus.

Jebus teh breadz o lifes
25 And when teh kittehz see'd him 'cross teh sea dey sez to Him, "Dude, how'd u do dat?"
26 Jesus sed, "Kittehz! U r not lookin for meh cuz you see'd teh mrklz, but cuz u want teh chzbrgrz!
27 Don't purr for teh chzburgrz, but for teh cookies dat offer mor din 9 livez, dat teh Son of Catz givz to u. Ceiling cat sez Him goodz stuffz."
28 So dey sez to Him, "Wut we kin do dat make ceiling cat purrz?"
29 Jesus sed, "Dis b it, beleev in teh one He sent."
30 So din dey sed, "Wut mrkl u do, dat we cud beleev in u? Wut kin u do?
31 Teh momcatz n tomcatz eated cookiez in teh desert, as teh skrptur sez: 'He givz dem cookiez from teh ceiling.'"
32 So Jebus sed, "Kittehs! dat wuzn't Moses! Dat wuz ceiling cat dat givz u cookiez from teh ceiling!"
33 Teh cookiez from teh ceiling cat r dose dat comez from teh ceiling n gives even more din 9lives to teh kittehs."
34 So dey sed Him, "D00d, givz us deez cookiez! srsly!"
35 Jebus sed, "I iz deez cookiez, dose dat beleevs will neverz b witout chzbrgrz n creamz in ur saucerz.

Get ready now cuz the wild weekend is coming!

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Weekend Cat Blogging
#217 Aug 01-02 is being held by Miz Mog and Kitties at Mind of Mog

Bad Kitty Cats Festival of Chaos
Edition 106 | Aug 02, 2009
Mom Robyn and the Hotties
(submit your post here)

The Carnival of the Cats
#281 is going to Kashim & Othello and Salome on Sunday Evening
(submit your post here)

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Technorati Tags: LOL Cat Church, LOL Cat Bible, Lectionary Readings, Prayer & Praise Blog, Weekend Cat Blogging

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Geekspeak I: Gender & Vocabulary

Last week I finished reading Geekspeak: A Guide to Answering the Unanswerable, Making Sense of the Insensible, and Solving the Unsolvable — or How Life + Mathematics = Happiness. This is good summer reading because the chapters are short and comprehensible. This is Science Lite. The math is Xtra Lite. And much of the content is fun.

A database of over 100 million words was created from recordings of conversations taken by researchers in the 1990s. The researchers found out that "there are certain words that act as fingerprints, showing that a conversation is between two men, or between two women." These fingerprints are the three words most frequently used by men talking to other men or women talking to other women.

When two women speak to each other, the three words that they say most often are:
she
her
said

And when two men speak to each other, the three words that they say most often are:
fucking
er
the

Nuff said?

By the way, read chapter one, "Scrabbling for Words," to learn a quick method to determine the number of words in your personal vocabulary.
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Heat Wave

So it has rained practically all summer so far. Now the heat. It has been 90°F (32.2°C) for two days now. The humidity is simply awful. The cats won't even go outside again (they seem to only like it to be 75°F (24°C) and sunny with a soft breeze). So here is Wingnut watching the only show on TV we watch all week, relaxing in the air conditioning, surrounded by his books, video games, puzzles, and his cat. We are so tired of books and puzzles and even of the computer that I may take us to the (gasp) mall today.
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Pansy

Pansy (left, glaring) and Turnip (right)

Pansy's huge catitude is beginning to thin. She actually came to bed and slept with the other cats one morning (after I was awake of course, because she doesn't really like me). And she did bite John's toes. But still, she is becoming more sociable and talking to me when it is time to go out in the morning and come in at night. Before I took this photo, she had a smile on her face. But she saw that I was looking at her and she glared at me again. Turnip? Well, he's totally at home everywhere and with everybody now.
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Blog Hop: Favorite Kid Photo: Kayaking Wingnut

Wingnut listens to John's instructions

Wingnut follows John down the Blackwater

My grandson Wingnut and I had our first kayaking adventure two weeks ago on the Blackwater River. We paddled 3.4 miles (5.5 km) from Salisbury north and back again. Wingnut and John had a great time. I was busy photographing flowers, ducks, insects and them. What a great day!

I love these photos because Wingnut has a real talent for kayaking (which would not be possible without the swimming lessons he has every summer when he stays with me). He is fast and sure and can navigate his kayak very well. He has the most wonderful role model in John, who is patient and communicates clearly

This is the route of our trip made on Google Earth. You can click on the image to view the trip. You can also click on the KMZ file here to view it on your Google Earth.

Blackwater River, Salisbury, NH Kayak Trip
Download Google Earth here

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Turkey Families

Everywhere we go now, there are family groups of turkeys running around. Groups of mothers with the chicks are out and about. I've been taking photos while I drive, through the windshield, as I ride my bike . . . they are everywhere. But yesterday this group of two moms and about seven chicks was in our fields eating grasshoppers all afternoon. I finally got some decent (but not great photos). The chicks are about the size of chickens now. But I did see one mom after church and her chick was a tiny newborn.

The mom makes a constant, soft noise so that the chicks can know where she is and follow. It is a beautiful sound. The chicks chirp behind her all the way. One day, I accidentally prevented a chick from following its mother across the road and its distress cry was upsetting. I had stopped in the road and the chick wouldn't cross the road with me there until I backed up the car. Then it raced across and happily joined the family.

Wild Turkey Set

Technorati Tags: Meleagris gallopavo, wild turkeys
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A Wading Donkey

One morning last week, as Wingnut and I drove to swimming lessons, we passed a pasture with a couple of horses, a pond, and this wonderful forlorn donkey wading in the pond. He always looks doleful but he must have been enjoying himself. Who wouldn't be happy on a midsummer day in cool, lily-flowered water?

Eeyore wouldn't be, I guess.

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Wingnut's First Aquarium

Wingnut had his first aquarium filled with salamanders, frogs and fish from John's ponds. They let the creatures go the next day in order to prepare a more suitable aquarium to keep until Wingnut goes home. These photos are of red-spotted salamanders and the tadpole of a green frog. Wingnut, as any other 13 year old boy, was fascinated and proud of this aquarium and I look forward to them setting up the next one soon.

You can view all of the photos in Wingnut's First Aquarium Set

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Refueling

click on the photo to see a larger version on Flickr

These two planes flew over the house on Wednesday. By the time I had gathered my wits and figured out what they were doing and where they were from, they had gone far past a good photographic range. But I still managed to get this shot before they disappeared.

The smaller plane is similar in size to a 707 jetliner, and is a KC-135R, called a Stratotanker. The big plane is an Army transport plane, a C-5A Galaxy.

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LOL Cat Bible: Lectionary Readings for Sunday, July 26, 2009

Sunday, July 26, 2009

2 Samuel 11.1–15
Psalm 14
2 Kings 4.42–end
Psalm 145.10–18
Ephesians 3.14–end
John 6.1–21

2 Samuel 11.1–15
♥♥♥ David Gets a Girlfriend! ♥♥♥

1 in da sprin, at teh tiem when kings go off 2 war, david sent joab out wif teh kings doodz an teh whole israelite army. They destroyd teh ammonitez an besiegd rabbah. But david remaind in jerusalem.
2 wan evenin david got up frum his bed an walkd around on teh roof ov teh palace. Frum teh roof he saw woman bafin. Teh woman wuz vry beautiful,
3 an david sent someone 2 find out bout her. Teh man sed, "isnt dis bafsheba, teh daughtr ov eliam an teh wife ov uriah teh hittite?"
4 den david sent mesengers 2 git her. She came 2 him, an he slept wif her. (she had purifid herself frum her uncleannes.) den [a] she went bak home.
5 teh woman conceivd an sent werd 2 david, sayin, "im pregnant."
6 so david sent dis werd 2 joab: "send me uriah teh hittite." an joab sent him 2 david.
7 when uriah came 2 him, david askd him how joab wuz, how teh soldiers wuz an how teh war wuz goin.
8 den david sed 2 uriah, "go down 2 ur houz an wash ur feet." so uriah left teh palace, an gift frum teh king wuz sent aftr him.
9 but uriah slept at teh entrance 2 teh palace wif all his mastahs servants an did not go down 2 his houz.
10 when david wuz told, "uriah did not go home," he askd him, "havent u jus come frum distance? Y didnt u go home?"
11 uriah sed 2 david, "teh ark an israel an judah r stayin in tents, an mah mastah joab an mah lordz doodz r campd in da open fieldz. How cud i go 2 mah houz 2 eat an drink an lie wif mah wife? As surely as u liv, im gonna not do such ting!"
12 den david sed 2 him, "stay her wan moar dai, an 2morrow im gonna send u bak." so uriah remaind in jerusalem dat dai an teh next.
13 at davidz invitashun, he eatd an drank wif him, an david made him drunk. But in da evenin uriah went out 2 sleep on his mat among his mastahs servants; he did not go home.
14 in da mornin david wrote lettr 2 joab an sent it wif uriah.
15 in it he wrote, "put uriah in da frunt line wer teh fightin iz fiercest. Den withdraw frum him so he will be struck down an dye."

Psalm 14 1 Short bus kittehs sez "No Ceiling Cat!" Theyz bad. 2 Ceiling Cat watches you masturbate, and iz like, do u getz it? 3 Theyz still bad 4 Dont thoze bad guyz who eat teh kittehs like cheezburgers reeulize that Ceiling Cat TOTALY RULEZ?!! 5 Ceiling Cat likez us better 6 We hidez under Ceiling Cat, cuz hes like, really big. 7 When Ceiling Cat bring back teh kittehs, that Jacob dood will be preety happi, and Izrael is all liek, "Way cool!"

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2 Kings 4.42–end

42 One dayz a cat bringz lotts of cheezburgers. Elisha cat sez "Giv to profeet cats!"
43 "Wuut? Dar is not enuff" sayz teh cat. But Elish cat repeeted, "Giv eet to dem. Thar wil bee plantee."
44 And sur enuff, thar waz plantee four all teh cats, juzt az teh Ceiling Cat promized.

Psalm 145 1 I will exAlt u, mah Ceiling Cat teh Pwn 2 Evry dai I will IM u , An fwd u fr evr An evr 3 Great iz teh CEILING CAT an most worthy of kibble; his pwn nowun can haz 4 One base will fwd ur email to anoner; dey will macro of ur pwn 5 They will post of teh phishee pwn of teh Ceiling Cat, An I will downld ur pr0nz 6 They will post of teh pwn of ur awzom pr0nz, An I will post of ur winz 7 They will partaay ur lots of joy n joyness, An joyly macro of ur pwn 8 Teh Cieling Cat iz grayshus An compa - compa - neet; slow to report an rich in Friend List 9 Teh Cieling Cat iz cool to evryon; he can haz neet on all he haz not eated 10 All u haz not eated will macro u, O Ceiling Cat; ur Friends will fwd u 11 They will post of teh winz of ur base, An email of ur pwn 12 so all minz can haz be on ur Friends List, An hang at ur base 13 Your base is not b bedlong'd by anyone else, An ur chrysanthemum livz thru all madeds. (Teh Ceiling Cat iz fayfthul to all hiz threadz, An lovin to all he haz not eated)+ 14 Teh Ceiling Cat b catchin all those who haz no toastback, An liftzes those who haz teh bluz 15 All eyez look to u, An u giv them der kibblez at noon 16 U open ur paw, and givz all kittehs der cheezburger when want. 17 Teh Ceiling Cat iz admin in all hiz forumz, An neet towardz all he haz not eated 18 Teh Ceiling Cat iz near to all who IM him, An all who email him in troof 19 He fulfeelz teh desires (not in that wai, perv) of dose who feerz him; he seez der IMz An unbanz dem 20 Teh Ceiling Cat b watchin' all dose who masturbate, but all teh meanies he will eated 21 My postz will chatspk in teh prayz of teh Ceiling Cat; Let evry spambot prayz hiz holy name; for evr an evr or until teh connection diez. +Apochrypha = i think dis meenz iz extra.

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Ephesians 3.14–end

14 CeilingCat lubs ebry kitteh!
15 Srsly!
16 Him cn gib yu nawledge to makez cookie,
17 dat way kitteh cn be l33t too!
18 N him likez yu eebin if yu hab envisble err,
19 him still gibs u cookie n cheezburg n stuffs.
20 So, cuz CeilingCat is kewl,
21 yu tell ebrybody to come ovr whenevs K? thxbye!

John 6.1–21
Jebus giveh cheezburgerz to 5K

1 Afturwurdz, Jesus cross'd teh See of Gallilee.
2 lotza kittehs went too cuz dey see's teh mirikls He dun.
3 Jesus went up on teh mountn n sat dwn wit hiz homiez.
4 Teh jooz cheezberger feest wuz cominz up
5 Jesus saw lotza kittehs comin n sez to Philip, "We gonna need mor cheezbergerz!"
6 but Jesus sez dis iz test cuz he no'd wut waz comin.
7 Phillip sed, "200 daze of cheezberger makin wudn't be enuf to feed all teh kittehs even a lil bit."
8 One of teh homiez, Andrew, the brudduh o Simon Peter, sez,
9 "There iz tom-kitteh wit five cheezbergerz n two tuna; but wut good dis do?"
10 Jesus sez, "Tell them to chilax." N all teh kittehs chill'd on teh grassiez.
11 Jesus took teh cheezbergerz, sed thx to ceiling cat, and handed teh chzbrgrz to teh chillin' kittehs, also teh tuna.
12 When teh kittehs were purrin', he ses to His homiez, "Get teh leftover cheezbergerz so nuthin be waestid. kthx."
13 So Jesus' homies got teh leftovers, and fill'd twelv baskets wit leftovers dat came from teh five chzbrgrz dat wuz more din dey cud eetz.
14 When teh kittehs see teh mirikle he dun, they sez, "Dat must b teh Profit hoo come into teh wrld."
15 Jesus knowed teh kittehz wus going to come and takz Him n makz Him king, so He ran awayz

Jesus walkz on waters (kiiteh hait waters)
16 nite came and teh hommiez went dwn to teh sea,
17 thay left in a boat, goed cross teh sea to Capernaum. It wuz dark, n Jesus wuz still gonz.
18 Teh sea wuz dancin n shakin cuz teh wind wuz goin craziez!
19 Teh homiez see'd Jesus walkin on teh water! OMGWTF? Teh homiez wuz skeered!
20 Jesus sez to hiz homiez, "Don't be skeered! srsly!"
21 Teh homies told Jesus to git in teh boat, but teh boat wuz at teh shor alredy.

Get ready now cuz the wild weekend is coming!

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Technorati Tags: LOL Cat Church, LOL Cat Bible, Lectionary Readings, Prayer & Praise Blog, Weekend Cat Blogging

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Buddy's Snake

Thamnophis sirtalis

We came home one afternoon to find Buddy hopping about excitedly — because of this garter snake. The snake was trying to bite Buddy. They are not poisonous snakes but do inflict heavy vet bills, so we did not allow Buddy to harm it. I then photographed Buddy and the snake under the steps of the side door. Because the light was so poor I had to heavily adjust the shadows so that you could see them staring at each other.

You can see more, and better, photos of this snake here.

Common Garter Snake Photograph Set

Technorati Tags: common garter snake, Thamnophis sirtalis
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Summer World V: Woolly Aphids

I have seen these tiny fuzzy white balls floating around every summer of my life — but I never paid attention to them. One sentence in Heinrich's Summer World gave a name to these fascinating and beautiful creatures: "A cottony white fluff ball drifts by on feeble wing beats — it's the migrating form of the woolly alder aphid. I don't know where it's going, but it is of the summer's last generation from wingless parents."

This is my last Summer World post. I hope these have motivated you to buy this book and see the world about us more clearly.



Technorati Tags: Woolly aphid, Eriosoma
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Summer World IV: Crane Flies Dance

Crane fly (mosquito hawk) from June, 2007 in Barton, Vermont

Dancing crane flies in Wilmot, New Hampshire, June 2009

Do you remember the photograph above of two crane flies enjoying each other's company? There have been many crane flies in the house this summer. That is good; they eat many mosquitoes and with the rains all summer this year, we have many mosquitoes. But in Summer World, Bernd Heinrich gives the life of the crane fly poetry. It was the summer solstice in Maine, 2007. Heinrich explains that while June 21 is the beginning of summer for us, it is the middle of summer for many species of animals. And the day was so lovely that it was sufficient cause for dancing to celebrate the season. Heinrich's description of the crane fly dance describes exactly what happened in the beginning of summer with the crane flies in the bathroom:

Our outhouse is open at the front, and it faces deeply shaded sugar maple woods. The dancers — two or three dozen of them — each have six long, spindly legs. They jitterbug up and down and forward and back in a dark corner just under the roof, and they are worked up to a frenetic speed. Undoubtedly they are expert performers. They ought to be. They've probably been doing one or another version of their act for more than 225 million years, since the Triassic period. And indeed, their performance doesn't disappoint.

Most of the dancers are single, but several have partners to whom they are firmly attached — by their genitals. The members of a pair face in opposite directions, and when — more often than the singles — they come to rest, they dangle with one holding on to the ceiling with its front legs while the other dangles below.

Crane flies are relatives of mosquitoes. They are called crane flies because their legs are so long. Heinrich says that their bodies are 1/3 of an inch long yet their legs are three times longer (1 inch). And if you touch a leg, it could fall off. Dropping legs is a defense against predators. The sexes can be differentiated by the ends of their abdomens. A thicker, pointed abdomen is female and a thinner, blunted abdomen is a male.

The summer dance that Heinrich describes is mostly performed by the boys. Once a boy attracks a girl with his dance, they mate (my first photo) and then they stay together for hours. In his sample, Heinrich's male crane flies outnumbered females by 28:2.

I would so enjoy reading other local observations from other Summer World readers. I will have a couple more of my local observations in the days to come. Meanwhile, click on the book below and read it!



Technorati Tags: crane flies, mosquito hawk, skeeter eater
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Swimming Lessons at Tannery Pond

Wingnut, furthest on the right, shivering while listening to instruction.

We are continuing swimming lessons in New Hampshire. Wingnut and I were both sure that the water would be warmer here since we are so far south of where his lessons were in the previous summers. But of course that is not true. It is a cool summer here and the water, Wingnut says, is actually colder than Willoughby and Shadow Lakes. He is in pain (or numb?) every morning after lessons. But he's sticking it out!

The fanciest (and cleanest) beach outhouse I have ever met.
For a very brief history of Tannery Pond, click here.

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Summer World III: Ant Lions

Here in this part of New Hampshire you live in sand — beautiful, soft beach sand. John showed me, quite a few weeks ago, creatures that like to live in the sand — ant lions. You can see the indentations of each ant lion home in these photos. Above, John is tickling an ant lion sand pit in order to get the ant lion to reveal itself. Some of the pits have no inhabitants, so tickling the pit is the only way to find out if it is being lived in. The ant lion thinks that the grass leaf is an ant and jumps out of the bottom of the pit to eat the ant.

Above, John has captured an ant lion. This one was really tiny and difficult to focus on with the Canon XSi. When ants walk into an ant lion's sand pit, they can't often escape. As they crawl out of the pit, the sand keeps them sliding back down until the ant lion gobbles them up.

Ant Lions (or Antlions or Doodlebugs or Doodle Bugs)
(Genus Neuroptera, Family Myrmeleontidae)
Above you can see the tiny ant lion.
It has enormous pinchers in front.

Below: I showed the sand pits to Wingnut, who promptly began feeding ants to the ant lion. It was totally fascinating to see the capture process. We noticed that about half of the ants were able to escape the pit. But half couldn't escape and were eaten. A 50% kill rate is pretty good in Nature. It is very difficult to see the escaping ant in the photo below.

After these activities (when these photos were taken), I happened to read Summer World because Bernd Heinrich's books have taught me so much about where I live. Summer World has a great section on ant lions (pages 193-194). If you live in New England (especially northern New England) you must read this book. You should read it if you live anywhere else:

". . . ant lions . . . are slow-moving predators that catch fast ants. They do this by making pits in lose, dry sand. The pits serve as traps; the ant lions hide buried in sand at the bottom of the traps with only their sharp tonglike pincers exposed; and with these pincers they grab any ant that wanders in. If an ant then starts to scramble up the steep, slippery slope of dry sand, they throw up loose sand that starts a sandslide and brings it back down and into reach.

My Ant Lion Photo Set

Technorati Tags: Ant Lions, Antlions, Doodlebugs, Doodle Bugs, Neuroptera, Myrmeleontidae
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Summer World II: Chipmunks, Zorro and Bot Flies

We had a kill awhile back. Zorro walked in the door with a wounded chipmunk, yowling, and brought it to the bedroom where I was cleaning. It startled me so much to see such a large catch that I screeched and Zorro turned back to the dining room and let the chipmunk go. The little rodent began squealing and running, finally hiding under a buffet table. Unfortunately, it was so severely bitten by Zorro that John had to dispatch it to chipmunk heaven.

John had told me earlier this season about the problem that chipmunks have with bot flies. I had never heard of bot flies in New England before — until I read Summer World. Heinrich writes: "I have also seen bot flies on skinned mice and chipmunks in Maine; relative to the size of their hosts, one of these maggots would be as big as a woodchuck to us."

Bot flies do not bite. They deposit their eggs in the nostrils of caribou in the arctic. When the eggs hatch, they wander around inside the caribou's body and then settle in under the animal's skin as they grow to be adults. Then they pop out of the caribou's skin and drop to the ground so that they can pupate.



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LOL Cat Bible: Lectionary Readings for Sunday, July 19, 2009

Sunday, July 19, 2009
2 Samuel 7.1–14a
Psalm 89.20–37
Jeremiah 23.1–6
Psalm 23
Ephesians 2.11–end
Mark 6.30–34, 53–end

My internets have been so slow (or non-existent) that I was unable to post until today! What a bummer!

2 Samuel 7.1–14a
God's promize 2 david

1 aftr teh king wuz settld in his palace an teh lord had given him rest frum all his enemiez around him,
2 he sed 2 nathan teh profet, "her im, livin in palace ov cedar, while teh ark ov ceilin cat remains in tent."
3 nathan replid 2 teh king, "whatevr u has in mind, go ahead an do it, 4 da lord iz wif u."
4 dat nite teh werd ov teh lord came 2 nathan, sayin:
5 "go an tell mah servant david, dis ar teh wut teh lord sez: r u teh wan 2 build me houz 2 dwell in?
6 i has not dwelt in houz frum teh dai i brought teh israelitez up out ov egypt 2 dis dai. I has been movin frum place 2 place wif tent as mah dwellin.
7 wherevr i has movd wif all teh israelitez, did i evr say 2 any ov their rulers whom i commandd 2 sheferd mah peeps israel, "y has u not built me houz ov cedar?"
8 "nao den, tell mah servant david, dis ar teh wut teh lord almighty sez: i took u frum teh paschur an frum followin teh flock 2 be rulr ovar mah peeps israel.
9 i has been wif u wherevr u has gone, an i has cut off all ur enemiez frum before u. Nao im gonna mak ur naym great, liek teh namez ov teh greatest doodz ov teh earth.
10 an im gonna provide place 4 mah peeps israel an will plant them so dat they can has home ov their own an no longr be disturbd. Wickd peeps will not oppres them nomore, as they did at teh beginnin
11 an has dun evr since teh tiem i appointd leaders [a] ovar mah peeps israel. Im gonna also giv u rest frum all ur enemiez. " teh lord declarez 2 u dat teh lord him will establish houz 4 u:
12 when ur dais r ovar an u rest wif ur fathers, im gonna raize up ur offsprin 2 succed u, hoo will come frum ur own body, an im gonna establish his kingdom.
13 he iz teh wan hoo will build houz 4 mah naym, an im gonna establish teh throne ov his kingdom forevr.
14 im gonna be his fathr, an he will be mah son. When he doez wrong, im gonna punish him wif teh rod ov doodz, wif floggings inflictd by doodz.

Psalm 89 Ceiling Cat madez a dele wif teh speshul David. Srsly. 1 Oh hai Ceiling Cat iz liek meowin' at ur luvs 4 uz, an stuffs. An wif mi mouf iz tellin' mi babiez an teh kittiez next doer of ur awesomeness. 2 An ai saiz dat u luv uz kittiz all 4eva an eva. Srsly. U riliables liek teh ceiling wich rain wen it sad an getes uz all wets. 3 An u sais "Ai has madez a deals wif mai speshul pplz, Srsly, ai has toldez mai kitteh Davids: 4 Ai lookz after your kittehs and buildz tehm troehnz, an makez dem cheezeburgerz fur all teh kittehs." 5 Oh mai graet Ceiling Cat iz praising u so badz an givin u cheezeburgerz, cause u iz all liek, ai is faithful in maekin holi wuns, n stuffs. 6 An whu in teh Ceiling iz beins leik yu, noe wuns taht whu. Srsly. Noet eveh teh BerdKats, 7 Who iz fearin teh Ceiling Cat in awl him howliness an awesohmness. 8 Oh graet Ceiling Cat, whu iz awesohm leik u. We dunno, srsly. 9 Cause u iz lookin afteh teh oshuns, we iz liek sayin fanks fur teh noet wettin uz, an stuffs. 10 Wehn u iz liek pwnin Ra'hab, him was liek a skwashed cheezeburger. An u waz chasin awai all yuz emenies leik littul mices tuh ur pahw. Srsly. 11 U maeks al teh fings leik teh Ceiling an teh Urfs. An we luvs dem liek our hoomans. 12 An u maeks teh ups an douns, fur taht pplz fank u. 13 Yuz has a mietiful pahw an a hai riet awm. 14 unneath u is fahreness an out off u coems luv. Liek teh lolrus loevs his bukket. 15 Happeh iz teh kittehs u meow at.

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Jeremiah 23

1 5"BEHOLD, TEH (J)DAIS R COMIN," DECLAREZ TEH LORD,"WHEN IM GONNA RAIZE UP 4 DAVID RIGHTEOUS (K)BRANCH;AN HE WILL (L)REIGN AS KING AN ACT WISELY AN (M)DO JUSTICE AN RIGHTEOUSNES IN DA LAND.
2 6"IN HIS DAIS JUDAH WILL BE SAVD,AN (N)ISRAEL WILL DWELL SECURELY;AN DIS AR TEH HIS (O)NAYM BY WHICH HE WILL BE CALLD,TEH (P)LORD R RIGHTEOUSNES.
3 7"(Q)THEREFORE BEHOLD, TEH DAIS R COMIN," DECLAREZ TEH LORD, "WHEN THEY WILL NO LONGR SAY, AS TEH LORD LIVEZ, HOO BROUGHT UP TEH SONS OV ISRAEL FRUM TEH LAND OV EGYPT,
4 8(R)BUT, AS TEH LORD LIVEZ, HOO (S)BROUGHT UP AN LED BAK TEH DESCENDANTS OV TEH HAUSHOLD OV ISRAEL FRUM TEH NORTH LAND AN FRUM ALL TEH COUNTRIEZ WER I HAD DRIVEN THEM. DEN THEY WILL LIV ON THEIR OWN SOIL

Psalm 23 1 Ceiling Cat iz mai sheprd (which is funni if u knowz teh joek about herdin catz LOL.) He givz me evrithin I need. 2 He letz me sleeps in teh sunni spot an haz liek nice waterz r ovar thar. 3 He makez mai soul happi an maeks sure I go teh riet wai for him. Liek thru teh cat flap insted of out teh opin windo LOL. 4 I iz in teh valli of dogz, fearin no pooch, bcz Ceiling Cat iz besied me rubbin' mah ears, an it maek me so kumfy. 5 He letz me sit at teh taebl evn when peepl who duzint liek me iz watchn. He givz me a flea baff an so much gooshy fud it runz out of mai bowl LOL. 6 Niec things an luck wil chase me evrydai an I wil liv in teh Ceiling Cats houz forevr.

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Ephesians 2.11–end
Jebus maded teh kitteh door

11 Membr wunz u wuz stuck outside Ceiling Cats houz.
12 U no haz cheezburger, no haz cookie, no LOLs, an u wuz liek WTF?? Cud mai life sux smores?!!1!
13 But Jebus opended teh door an sais, "O hai keete keete! Wanna coem in mah houz?"
14 Jebus maded teh kitteh door sos kittehs cud be inside wid Him when dey wantz.
15 At first Ceiling cat wus liek, "Hey Jebus, WTF?!!! Wair all deez stinky kittehs coem from!!!" But Jebus sais, "Kittehs wid me, k?" Den Ceiling Cat wuz liek, "k."
16 Kittehs wunz wuz fraid Ceiling Cat. He wuz alwais liek, "Hey U, GTF off Mai lawn!!!" an throwded stuf.
17 Den Jebus went out to find kittehs, Dey wuz hidin in teh bushes an sum wuz kinda far. Jebus wuz liek, "Heeer kitteh, kitteh..."
18 An he tooked teh kittehs into Ceiling Cats houz.
19 First kittehs wuz liek, "Oh noes! Halp! Halp!" But Jebus petted teh kittehs an shareded sum his cheezburgers. Den kittehs wuz no fraid Ceiling Cats place ne moer.
20 Soz new kittehs met old kittehs, an all kittehs wuz gettin nice rubs frum Jebus while Ceiling Cat maded teh cookies. Wuz no fites, just purrs.
21 Srsly, Jebus and kittehs an Ceiling Cat maded happy famly.
22 Den Hovr Cat marked evrboodi wid Hiz scent.

Mark 6.30–34, 53–end
Happy Cat Feedz Lotz of Peepul

30 Teh Aposslz caem bak, an dey telld Happy Cat all teh stuff dey did an teechd.
31 An den, bcuz dere wuz too many peepul an dey wuzn't getting lunch, he wuz liek "Hay, letz go rest nao, k?"
32 An so dey went away in a boat an went were nowun wuz.
33 But lotz of peepul seez dem, an chaesd dem an got dere furst.
34 An Happy Cat seez dem, an touhght dey wuz liek sheep wifout a shephurd. An he teeched dem stuff.

53 An dey landed at soem plaice wif a funny naem.
54 An wen dey got out of teh boat, peepul wuz like "Hay, dat's Happy Cat!"
55 An dey brot sick peepul to him on teh matz.
56 An Happy Cat heeld sick peepul an stuff werever he wuz. Srsly.

Weekend Cat Blogging
#215 Jul 18-19 is being held by Othello
at Paulchens FoodBlog?! - In honor of Sher!

Bad Kitty Cats Festival of Chaos
Edition 106 | Aug 02, 2009
Mom Robyn and the Hotties
(submit your post here)

The Carnival of the Cats
is going to #279 - Meowza - Sunday Evening
(submit your post here)

Visit the Pet Prayer & Praise Blog

Kitty Limericks

My Bad Boy — Charlie Cat — July 6, 2009
Thank you all for your kind comments.

Technorati Tags: LOL Cat Church, LOL Cat Bible, Lectionary Readings, Prayer & Praise Blog, Weekend Cat Blogging

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