Third Sunday after EpiphanyIsaiah 9:1-4
Psalm 27:1, 4-9
(Ps. 27:1)
1 Corinthians 1:10-18
Matthew 4:12-23
These are the verses of today's lectionary readings that have been translated:
Of David.
1 Oh, hai! CEILING CAT is my cheezburgr.
who i iz scard of?
CEILING CAT is my kitteh bed—
who i iz scard of ffs?
2 Wen skript kidehs DOS me
to nok me offline
when trols n lusers atak me w/ teh BFG,
tehy wil trip on it.
3 If a crew raid me,
I not chikn;
even if tehy stole my bike,
i stil rulz!
4 One thing I askz 4, O CEILING CAT, plz,
this is what I luk 4. Ready?:
cheezburgrz
evry dai, srsly,
yumy laik CEILING CAT's beleh fuz
cuz cheezburgrz bring me closer 2 u kthx.
5 For wehn Brian Peppers cums 4 me
CEILING CAT keepz me sayf;
he hidez me in his tabby-nacle
n putz me on top of book shelf.
6 Then i iz lookz down on nmes
above the nmes taht suround me;
at his tabby-nacle I will sacrifice a mouse w00t!;
I will sing "We Are teh Champyons" 4 CEILING CAT.
7 Hear me meow, O CEILING CAT,
DO NOT WANT u 2 pwn me. Hit me up on mesenger plz.
8 I getz feelin i sposed 2 fynd ur fuz face r sumptin,
Ur fuz face, CEILING CAT, I luks 4.
9 No hydz ur fuz face frm me plz,
no get pised of @ me plz;
cuz u hav helpd me ffs.
no putz me on ignor list,
O CEILING CAT.
10 Even if mom n dad kill filter me,
CEILING CAT wil readz al my emailz.
11 Teach me skilz, O CEILING CAT;
show me how 2 pwn
skript kidehs.
12 Do not giv tehm r00t on my servr,
cuz tehy sez tehy pwn me already ffs,
ther breath stinkz of hot pokets n diet pepsi.
13 Im shur:
I wil seez teh fuzy beleh of CEILING CAT
b4 I diez.
14 Wait for CEILING CAT;
hez comin srsly
wait for CEILING CAT kthx bai.
1 Corinthians 1:10-18
Divisions in the Ceiling Cat Clubz10 Evribodi get along plz?
11 bcz Chloe telled on u! OMG u r fightin!
12 I iz tryin sai: one d00d sez "me follaz Paul"; differnt d00d sez "me follaz Apollos"; third sez "me follaz Cephas"; An sum othr d00d "me follaz Christ!" Srsly WTFBBQ!
13 Christ iznt in bite-size chunx! Is Paul on cross for u? NO! U wuz givn bath for Paul? NO and also OMG waterz!
14 I iz glad I not gived u bath! (xcept Crispus An Gaius)
15 so nobodi can sez anybodi gotted bath in mai namez (xcept Crispus An Gaius).
16 (OK I gived Stephanas An his families bath. N maybi some1 else, I forgets.)
17 enniwai Christ didn't sended me to giv u bath! He sended me 4 telling you good newses about Ceiling Cat! An I duz not do that wif smart human wordz! Bcz that meanz Christ's cross haz no powerz! oh noes!!!
Ceiling Cat iz Smartr than U
18 Msg 4m cross 2 teh dyin: i iz just silly. msg 4m cross 2 us who iz being savedz: i iz the powr of Ceiling Cat!
Matthew 4:12-23
Jesuz begunz 2 preech, amirite?
12 Wen Jesus founded out dat John wuz in prison he made tracks fr Galile
13 An staid in Capernaum at teh c-side bt he dint tak his bukkit an spayd.
14 Cuz teh wize Esaias sed
15 “In all teh base, laik Zabulon n Nepthalim n teh c n Jordan (yeh even KT Prys) n Galilee.
16 Jesus will turn on teh liteswitch fr teh kittenz dat iz sittin in teh dark."
17 Dat iz wen Jesus strted 2 tell teh kittenz, “repent cuz teh kngdom of heaven am at hand btw.”
The callin of teh frist desipels
18 Den Jesus bumpded into 2 broz hoo wuz fisherzmen n wuz called Simon AKA Peter n Andrew AKA Lil’ Bro
19 N Jesus sed, “Comes wit me n u can b manfisherz.”
20 N cuz Jesus am teh 1337, dey wuz laik, “kthx.”
21 N den Jesus met James n John, hoo wuz chillin on a bote wit dair pops, hoo wuz Zebedee frm teh Magic Roundabout.
22 N dey also went wit Jesus.
Jesuz heels teh sIckly
23 Jesus tuk hs crew roun Galilee, teechin in teh tmples n preechin teh gospel n heelin teh sick.
moar funny pictures
HALP!
We hope to have many other Holy Kitties featured this year.
Please e-mail your photo to me at meeyauw[at]gmaildotcom
with the subject "Holy Kitties."
Board the Friday Ark at The Modulator (submit your post here)Weekend Cat Blogging #138 Jan 26-27
The Tuxie Cats at Tuxedo Gang Hideout
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post in the comments for the weekend roundup)
Bad Kitty Cats Festival of Chaos at
Pet & The Bengal Brats at Pet’s Garden Blog
Optional Theme - Feathers Or Birds
(submit your post here)
The Carnival of the Cats #202 is going to
Bad Kitty Cats Sunday Evening
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Trying to read this cat bible, I start to understand more and more and that makes me laugh so much ! I read the bible once just like a book but now I have to say I read it with pleasure it is too funny.
ReplyDeleteI just scrolled a bit through your blog and the landscape pictures are gorgious, although I don't like snow !