LOL Cat Bible: Lectionary Readings for All Saints Day, November 1, 2009

All Saints Day
November 1, 2009

Wisdom of Solomon 3:1-9 or
Isaiah 25:6-9
Psalm 24
Revelation 21:1-6a
John 11:32-44

Wisdom of Solomon 3:1-9

1 In teh nite timez in mai litterbox I be lookin fer mai kittehfrend: I sed "O hay! Whar u beez?" but no find. INVISIBLE KITTEHFREND!
2 So I was all "BRB!" and went to teh citty too find invisible kittehfrend. I sed "O hay! Whar u beez?" but no find. STILL INVISIBLE KITTEHFREND! zomg.
3 Sum watchkittehs in teh sitty sed "O hay!" so I sed "O hay thar! U seen mai invisible kittehfrend? Also, whar can I buyz cookies?"
4 OMG OMG OMG, u guyse! So affer not so long I find invisible kittehfrend! I helded him and skweezeded him and sed "I HAS A VISIBLE KITTEHFREND!" and den I brotted him 2 my momz's litterbox whar my popz sed "PENIS GO WHERE?" to my momz long tyme ago. Kinda kreepie lolz.
5 So lissen, doters o Jerusalem. BE KWIET. Don't waykez mai boykittehfrend until he dun nappin'. kthx.
6 O noez! Who dis peepin tom beez comin' frum teh willdurnez like pillerz o smoak? O hay, yu stink! U has powderz!
7 Ooo, look at hiz litterbox. Dis be Solomoncat. U gotz lotz of kittehs witchoo (threeskore 2 be eckzakt)!
8 WTF? Dey be holdin swordzes cuz dey lykz to fite and dere skurred of teh dark. lolz.
9 Solomoncat pimped hiz cherryot wif woodz from Lebanon. Mad propz.
10 So like dis how it look: silver pillerz, gold rimz, perple paint jobby. Paveded wif nuttin but lurve 4 teh doters o Jerusalem.
11 Git moovin, doters o Zion, go chek out Solomoncat wif hiz l33t krown! His momz giveded it 2 him and he wuz like "O snap, dis tight! I gots mad gladnezz."

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Psalm 24 1 Teh worldz belong 2 Ceiling Cat, N all teh cheezburgerz N all teh kittehs. 2 Ceiling Cat made ur worldz like big water bowl, N no backwash! 3 Which lolcat brave enuf 2 climb Ceiling Cat'z scratching post? Which lolcat brave enuf to piss in Ceiling Cat'z territoreh? Which lolcat cn let Ceiling Cat in teh pet-door? 4 only teh lolcat wif bestestest tongue 4 givin bathz. N no fleaz. 5 Ceiling Cat give that lolcat cheezburgerz N cookies. 6 Srsly. kthxbye. 7 Lift teh cat flap N let Ceiling Cat in. 8 Ceiling cat are serious cat. This are serious psalm. 9 Let him in ur cat flap, srsly. 10 Ceiling Cat are serious. Let him in ur cat flap. Itz cold in teh garage. Srsly. kthxbye.

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Revelation 21
A noo Jerusalem

1 This kitteh saw a new floor and a new ceiling for their wz renovations and old floor no can haz srsly. And no seaz either which is good for teh kittehz.
2 kk Ai saw a noo jerusalem come down from teh ceiling cat. Noo jerusalem look liek wedding cat
3 Ceiling Cat lives in noo jerusalem with da kittehs and dey lives with Ceiling Cat.
4 Don't cry kittehs you will not get wet we have no more seaz k!
5 Teh ceiling cat sais Ai am making thingz new srsly.
6 "Ai is front cat, Ai is back cat, ur thirsty and water u can haz!
7 If u winz u getz all teh priezes.
8 But if u beh afreid, nastei, bad bad kittehz, u goez wif Basement Cat. srsly bad sad an dark.
9 Wun uf teh sevn hovr d00dz ai wuz tellin u about sed "Ai showz u teh babi sheep's wief."
10 He showded me Jerusalem which is weerd if u thinkz about it.
11 It wuz shini.
12 Dere wuz writin on teh doorz.
13 An dere wuz twelv of dem.
14 Dere wuz namez writtin on teh wall too.
15 Teh hovr d00d hadded a stik.
16 Teh citi wuz squaer an kinda big.
17 Teh wall wuz big too.
18 An all shini.
19 Teh wall was shini too.
20 An colrfl.
21 Teh doorz n evn teh street wuz shini.
22 No tempul tho, bcz Ceiling Cat is itz tempul.
23 Itz so shini it duzint need a sun or a moon.
24 Its so shini.
25 U nevr haz to cloes teh doorz bcz it nevr getz dark LOL.
26 Evribodi will go dere. (also its shini)
27 Just teh good peeplz tho. It iz bai invitashn onli.

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John 11:32-44

32 But when Mary founded Happy Cat she was all about "You iz to laet."
33 Den Happy Cat saweded her all emo an teh Joos dat com wit her wer also emo and Happy Cat wuz very sadz and his sprit was moveded liek srsly.
34 "Wer did yu lai him?" Happy Cat askeded. "Coem here and yu can see too," dey sed bac.
35 Happy Cat wepted.
36 An teh Joos sawed dis an sed, "See! He wuvs hims too!"
37 Thn, sum ov teh ppl seyz, "Diz cat can heal blind catz, can he oso stop teh LOLRus frm goin to teh ceiling?"
38 An thn Happy Cat went to teh tomb which was dis cave, an its has stone in frnt ov teh cave.
39 Happy Cat sez, "Taek awai teh stone." Bt, Martha, LOLrus' sis sez, "DO NOT WANT! Teh cave iz teh smelli! LOLRus wuz ded 4 dais ago!"
40 Thn, Happy Cat sez, "I told u beefour! Eev u beleaf, u can see teh glory of teh Ceiling Cat."
41 So they moved teh stone. And Happy Cat looked up and sed, "Thanx fur listnin', Ceiling Cat!
42 I knows you heared me, but dese peeps hangin' round don't beleaf in me. Iz show dem."
43 He sed dese tings, den he yelleded: "Oh hai! I can has Lolrus!"
44 Den, LOLRus coem out. Hiz clothz wuz liek all ova him. An can not see. So Happy Cat sez, "Loose him an let him go nao, kthxbai."

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Driving to Connecticut

I have an irrational fear of being a passenger while driving through heavy traffic. When we went to Old Saybrook in September, John drove the truck. To keep myself busy and calm, I began to record the heavy southern New England traffic. It worked. I didn't shriek out as often. None of you will be interested in watching this long, pointless video. But it has lots of memories in it for me. Watching this, for me, is identical to riding a hellish roller coaster (which I will never do). I get the same dropping feeling in the pit of my stomach.

If you click on the times below, you will be taken to a new window in youtube. Then, click "more" on the right hand description of the video, then click the time section again that you want to see. After the video loads, you can watch just that section that you clicked.

0:00 - 1:30 The video begins in Wallingford, which is just north of New Haven. The truck windows have never been cleaned. See how close the trucks are? How fast people drive down there?

1:31- 3:33 Traffic comes to a scary, screeching halt just outside of New Haven. It's always like this. For miles. Until i-95 which takes you to New York City. Which is why it's always awful.

3:34 - 3:46 We move to the right lanes to get off of this insanity. We can use GPS to go through the city streets of New Haven to get to Anna's house.

3:47- 6:08 We exit at the police station and train station. The train station is old and pretty. The police station looks like a fortress. Traffic is just as awful but at least it isn't as dangerous. The bridges in New Haven are unique. To me. We have to cross one of them in order to get to Anna's place on Long Island Sound.

5:30 a man gets out of a car next to us because it's quicker to walk to the train station than to drive.

6:09 - 7:35 We leave Anna's place after picking up a desk that she has for Amy. We now get onto i-95 North (towards Providence) to get to Old Saybrook from New Haven. You can see New Haven Harbor and the oil tank farm at 6:10. I counted a dozen construction cranes building stuff. Somebody's economy is doing good. The road is more narrow but traffic is better. It's easier to drive the further you get from NYC.

7:35 - end We are in Old Saybrook on the road that the weekend house is on. The road is on the Sound which you can see a bit of. Then we get to the house and I tape that.



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A Weekend in Old Saybrook, Connecticut

The Girls

On a weekend in September, John, Amy and I drove down to Old Saybrook, Connecticut to spend a weekend with Anna, Aaron, Aaron's family, Marcia and Suzi (Andrew and Dan couldn't make it this time.) The weather was good half of the time. The food was great and the company wonderful. Here are my girls: Daisy is Anna and Aaron's tiny dog. Anna is taking a picture of me taking a picture of her. And behind Anna, Amy is taking off her shoes to wade in the surf. It never got warm enough to go swimming. I'm posting sunset photos of this weekend on my Photo A Day blog. In the near future there will be birds, scenery, and sea life posted.

A Weekend in Old Saybrook Set

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Zorro ♡ Turkeys

continued from Turkeys Everywhere

One afternoon as I drove up the drive of the house, I noticed the turkeys were around. I had to drive slowly so that I didn't run over any of them. As I parked, I noticed Zorro on my left. The turkeys were headed right for him and he was waiting for them! I whipped the camera out and did the best I could. I was in bright light and the birds and the cat were in shadow. I have heavily altered these photos in order to see at least Zorro's eyes in that black fur.

Zorro is just watching with no committment to attack. That was a relief!

In fact, at this point Zorro was yawning.

The first group of turkeys had walked by. I noticed that the dominant turkey never took her eyes off of the cat the whole time.

But now, the second group of turkeys is walking by Zorro. They are younger and not as vigilant. They do keep far to the left of Zorro, though.

And now, instead of yawning, Zorro is chattering as cats chatter when they see prey. I began to worry.

Then Zorro crouched to pounce. But he did nothing at all! The turkeys walked by peaceably.

They are gone now. Zorro begins to roll in the sand. I have no idea why!

The entire incident is over. From this moment on, whenever the turkeys showed up, we made sure to get Zorro in the house. We didn't want him going from chipmunk hunting to turkey hunting. Both prey are dangerous. Turkeys are especially dangerous!

By the end of September, the turkeys stopped their march about the house. We have not seen them in several weeks now. But we know they are out there. It is the mating season. If we were to go out at night into the woods we could find their nighttime roosts. But we never seem to feel like doing that. The turkeys will be back in the winter. We know that.

Zorro ♡ Turkeys Set

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Turkeys Everywhere

In August and September the turkeys were everywhere all the time. They marched in single file in a huge circle around the house. They roamed every inch of the fields and ate all the grasshoppers. They roosted in the hemlocks in the back. They took dust baths in the front and over by the ponds. Their feathers were everywhere. I took hundreds of snapshots of them in the front, in the back, out the side windows, out the bedroom windows.

Luckily the turkeys were pretty quiet. Until a boy turkey showed up. Once he got here it was very, very noisy. The turkeys began to fly around when he was here. There were squeals of delight and squawks of dismay. The cats would quietly and resignedly come inside when the turkeys were here. Or they would sit on the deck and watch them.

I was glad the cats came in with the turkeys around. I have heard bad things about turkeys and cats that are stupid enough to try to catch one or stalk one. The cats became a very reliable early warning system for turkey sightings. If they came home early the turkeys had come. We have even seen Zorro running for home as fast as he could in front of the turkeys. I stopped worrying about the cats and the turkeys, stopped my vigilant watching and relaxed.

But I couldn't relax for long . . .

to be continued

Wild Turkey Set

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Scenes from the John Hay Ecology Hike

Above: a white pine. These huge, straight trees were cut down by British forces while they colonized North America. They made masts for their ships. This ravaging of our forests was one of many irritations that led us to revolution.

Above: a geometer moth warming on a rock
There are over 1,400 geometer species in North America.

Above: the top of a tall tree. The tree has been cut in two by the woodpecker activity that you see here. Below: the rest of the tree from which this fell.


Above: an animal (probably squirrel or chipmunk) has excavated this dead tree for its lair.

Above: a hemlock tree. The difference between it and white pine is that the hemlock has small dead branches on the trunk as it rises into the forest.

Above: a midden — probably chipmunk, maybe squirrel.

Above: John and Amy have left the woods and are entering the fields of the main house.

The Main House at the Fells

Above: Mother and Child by sculptor Jack Dowd was on exhibit.

Above: Originally a stone barn at the Fells, this is now a private residence.

The John Hay Forest Ecology Trail Hike

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Tipton Kimpton Brook After the Rain

We spent the day viewing the brooks and streams after Saturday's heavy rains. This is Tipton Kimpton Brook here in town. I made a (poor) video after two batteries on the still damp Canon died. If you look closely you can see the ruins of one stone wall of an old mill that used to be on the brook a hundred and more years ago.

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Mount Sunapee over Lake Sunapee

Click on the photo to view it larger and
see through the clear lake water to the rocky lake bottom.

On the hike at the Fells, you come to this beautiful view of Mount Sunapee on the other side of Lake Sunapee. Wikipedia has a great article on this lake. It is a glacial lake and the name comes from the Native American word "Soo-Nipi or 'Wild Goose Waters' for the many geese that passed over the lake during migration." The Sugar River, which we visited a couple of posts back at Wendall Marsh Dam, begins at Lake Sunapee.


View Sunapee Region in a larger map

The John Hay Forest Ecology Trail Hike

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The Fells: Split Boulder

In early September, Amelia, John and I hiked in the Fells in Newbury. We actually had to pay for this hike! But there were a few new photographs to take and I had never been to the Fells. Here you see a boulder that has been split, over the eons, by ice. You can see how the two pieces of rock fit together.

The John Hay Forest Ecology Trail Hike

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Thomas Shahan Bug Macros

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LOL Cat Bible: Lectionary Readings for Sunday, October 25, 2009

Sunday, October 25, 2009

Job 42:1-6, 10-17 or
Jeremiah 31:7-9
Psalm 34:1-8, (19-22) or
Psalm 126
Hebrews 7:23-28
Mark 10:46-52

Job 42:1-6, 10-17

1 All deh big army guyz liek Johanan nd Jezaniah went up to Jeremiah
2 n they was all liek plz plz tell Ceiling Cat we iz so sorry
3 n we do watevr he sez now ok.
4 Jeremiah tol them all ok I talk to Ceiling Cat now
5 n they say we promis we all gonna do what he sez now
6 evn if we dont undrstnd y he sez it.

10 nd he says u can liv here hes cool wit it
11 nd if you live here dont wry about teh bad kittehz in Babylon, Ceiling Cat keepz them away
12 nd itll be so cool.
13 But if u don't wanna live here nd yu r all screw Ceiling Cat dis place sux
14 nd you run away to Egypt wit teh pyrmids n mummiez n stuff
15 Ceiling Cat wont like that
16 nd he gonna tell the kittehz in Babylon wer u went to n also u get no food
17 so stay here n dont go to Egypt kthx.

Psalm 34 1 I r always talkins of Ceiling Cat I r always say good tings. 2 My soul r brag 'bout Ceiling Cat Let teh poor kittehs hear n be happies. 3 Lets rave 'bout Ceiling Cat lets prase his kewl name togedder. 4 I meowed for Ceiling Cat an he answred me He r save me from teh scary tings. 5 Teh kittehs dat trust him is happy cats Dey nevar hav shameful face. 6 Dis poor kitteh called HALP! An Ceiling Cat heerded him, He savded teh poor kitteh. 7 Teh Wingcat of teh Ceiling Cat is neer teh kittehs dat is respektful of him, an halps dem. 8 Taste n u will see, dis Ceiling Cat has a flavr. Cheezburgrs for teh kitteh dat seeks him. 9 Repekt teh Ceiling Cat, u good kittehs Cuz respektful kittehs get all de good tings. 10 Teh big cats is gettinz weak n hungries But kittehs who findz Ceiling Cat can has cheezburgrs. 11 Come to me, babby kittehs I r goins teech u to respekt Ceiling Cat 12 U kittehs dat luv life an r wants to haz 9 lives 13 Say no evil - mak shur cat have ur tongue! An never tell lies n stuff. 14 Point ur tail at evil and do lotsa good tings look for peece n chase it liek a maus. 15 Ceiling Cat is watchin teh good kittehs An his ears is listenins for dere cries. 16 Ceiling Cat not look at kittehs dat do evil tings He r delete dem from teh memory of teh urfs. 17 Teh good kittehs meow, and Ceiling Cat heers dem. He are savins dem from teh sad tings. 18 Ceiling Cat r cuddlin teh kittehs whose harts is broked An he r rescuins kittehs wit crushded spirits. 19 A good kitteh may havs lotsa trubbles but Ceiling Cat r goin to halp him. 20 Ceiling Cat r garding call teh kitteh's bonez Te kitteh r not have breakded bonez. 21 Evil r goinz to kill teh bad kittehs Teh enemiez of all good kittehs r goins to be uthanized. 22 Ceiling Cat freez his kitteh d00ds; No kitteh dat trusts in him is goinz to be doomd.

Psalm 126 Sing sawng uv ascents 1 When teh Ceiling Cat bringz us bak to teh Lolmountain, we were lik kittehs who dreem. 2 Our moufs were lik filld wit cheezbugerz an stuffz. Srsy! We wuz happeh! 3 Teh Ceiling Cat roxorz us and we beez happeh! 4 Give us many cheezburgerz dat are ours! 5 Doz who give veggiez can reep cheezburgers. 6 Wen we go out cryen and stuffz wit cheezburger seeds, we comez bak wit lotz of happeh cheezburgers! Awsome!!

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Hebrews 7
Melchizedek Bestest Cheeseburgers Has

1 Dis melchizedek wuz da king ov salem an priist ov da ceiling cat. Him said to abraham: "Oh hai, yu pwns dem other kingz. Yu can has cheezburgerz."
2 Therfoer abraham giev him ten presents ov da loot. Him name be king ov justiz. Him be king ov peece too.
3 Him has no dad an mum an kittehs. Him has no birtdai an liev forewer. His liek teh Son of Ceiling Cat. Him is priest for everah.
4 He iz teh bestest!! Even teh funder abraham giveh him tax.
5 Dem kitteh ov levi baking cookies an stuff, must take tax ov teh pepol, even demz brothers ar kittehs ov abraham.
6 But melchizedek iznt one ov dem. Him take tax and giev cheeseburger to abraham as promissing.
7 Cheeseburger iz better tehn monny.
8 Taking monney and die iz stupid. But liev iz best a lot.
9 See! Becaus ov abraham iz paid tax, levi also iz taxed.10 Him wuz in him dad when him meet melchizedek.

Mark 10:46-52
Happy Cat heels blaind begga

46 an dem caem to Jericho. But den, wehn HappyCat leeves town wif hiz deesipulz, an tehres alot uv peepul folloing dem (coz their famus u knoe), look hai, tehres blind begga sits bai teh road. Him calld Bartimaios, son of Timaios.
47 Wen him heard Happy wakls bai, him liek: "Happy Cat, pleez i can has cheezburger!"
48 All teh kittehs wuz liek shush! be qwuiet! srsly! but him yelled lauder: "Happy Cat, pleez i can has cheezburger!"
49 Den Happy Cat stops an sez: "kawl him here." An dey were liek: "dunt feer, him kawls u. go tehre."
50 den he throwes his cloath awai an comez to Happy Cat.
51 "So wut u wantz me to do?" Happy Cat asked. Teh blaind sez: "Pleez, i can has cheezburger?"
52 an den Happy Cat saiz: "u can has ur cheezburger." An teh blaind iz awl liek OMG!!!1! srsly!!! i can has see! i has a happy! an him walkt togethar wif Happpy Cat.

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Cold River Quartz

In the Cold River, in Alstead, is this beautiful white quartz boulder. Seemingly everyone knows of this boulder but I can't find a reference to it historically or geologically anywhere on the internet. I did find a photo of it at coldriver.org but there was no specific discussion of it. It is a stunning sight when you drive down the road by the river.



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