meeyauw: LOL Cat Bible: Lectionary Readings for Sunday, January 23, 2011

Sunday, January 23, 2011

LOL Cat Bible: Lectionary Readings for Sunday, January 23, 2011

Sunday, January 23, 2011

Isaiah 9:1-4
Psalm 27:1, 4-9
1 Corinthians 1:10-18
Matthew 4:12-23

Isaiah 9:1-4

1 Mai proffercy, let me show you it. Iz gonna be awright. Fr Galileliliee anyways.
2 Cats that iz in dark haz evn bettah nihgt vizhun than befoar.
3 Cookies an cheezburgrs everywhrs!
4 Midian no can haz cheezburgrs.

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Psalm 27

Of David.

1 Oh, hai! CEILING CAT is my cheezburgr.
   who i iz scard of?
   CEILING CAT is my kitteh bed—
   who i iz scard of ffs?

2 Wen skript kidehs DOS me
   to nok me offline
   when trols n lusers atak me w/ teh BFG,
   tehy wil trip on it.

3 If a crew raid me,
   I not chikn;
   even if tehy stole my bike,
   i stil rulz!

4 One thing I askz 4, O CEILING CAT, plz,
   this is what I luk 4. Ready?:
   cheezburgrz
   evry dai, srsly,
   yumy laik CEILING CAT's beleh fuz
   cuz cheezburgrz bring me closer 2 u kthx.

5 For wehn Brian Peppers cums 4 me
   CEILING CAT keepz me sayf;
   he hidez me in his tabby-nacle
   n putz me on top of book shelf.

6 Then i iz lookz down on nmes
   above the nmes taht suround me;
   at his tabby-nacle I will sacrifice a mouse w00t!;
   I will sing "We Are teh Champyons" 4 CEILING CAT.

7 Hear me meow, O CEILING CAT,
DO NOT WANT u 2 pwn me. Hit me up on mesenger plz.

8 I getz feelin i sposed 2 fynd ur fuz face r sumptin,
Ur fuz face, CEILING CAT, I luks 4.

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1 Corinthians 1:10-18

KITTEHS FIGHTED IN TEH BOX
10 I saiz, and happy cat sai hai, taht u muzt be cuddly an not fight an stufz.
11 For members of Chloe’s household have made it clear to me, my brothers and sisters, 14 that there are quarrels 15 among you.
12 Now I mean this, that 16 each of you is saying, “I am with Paul,” or “I am with Apollos,” or “I am with Cephas,” or “I am with Christ.”
13 Is Christ divided? Paul wasn’t crucified for you, was he? 17 Or were you in fact baptized in the name of Paul? 18
14 I thank God 19 that I did not baptize any of you except Crispus and Gaius,
15 so that no one can say that you were baptized in my name!
16 (I also baptized the household of Stephanus. Otherwise, I do not remember whether I baptized anyone else.)
17 For Christ did not send me to baptize, but to preach the gospel – and not with clever speech, so that the cross of Christ would not become useless. 20 The Message of the Cross
18 For the message about the cross is foolishness to those who are perishing, but to us who are being saved it is the power of God

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Matthew 4:12-23

Happy Cat begunz 2 preech, amirite?
12 Wen Happy Cat founded out dat John Baftis wuz in cat jail he made tracks fr Galaly
13 An staid in Caper-Num by the waters bt he dint tak his bukkit an spayd.
14 Cuz teh wize Ass-Eyess sayd
15 “In all teh base, laik Zabalon n Nefarim n teh c n Jortan (yeh even KT Prys) n Galaly.
16 Happy Cat will turn on teh liteswitch fr teh kittenz dat iz sittin in teh dark."
17 Dat iz wen Happy Cat strted 2 tell teh kittenz, “say yur sory fer bean bad kittehs cuz teh Cat Heaven am at hand btw. srsly.”

Teh callin of teh frist helper cats
18 Den Happy Cat bumpded into 2 kitlins uv same mudder hoo wuz cathcin fish n wuz called Siming AKA Peeter n Antroo AKA L'il Kitlin
19 N Happy Cat sayd, “Comes wit me n u can catch pplz.”
20 N cuz Happy Cat am teh 1337, dey wuz laik, “kthx.”
21 N den Happy Cat met Janes n udder John, hoo wuz vaedy reraxin on a bote wit dair tomcats, hoo wuz Zebedee frm teh Magic Roundabout.
22 N dey also went wit Happy Cat.

Happy Cat heels teh sit
23 Happy Cat tuk hs crew roun Galaly, teechin in teh Ceiling Cat prace n sayn teh Good Mews n heelin teh sit.

Weekend Cat Events

Weekend Cat Blogging
#294 Jan 22-23 Billy Sweetfeets Gingersnap
(see the week’s host to enter your WCB post in the comments for the weekend roundup)

The Carnival of the Cats
#358 – Nikita Cat
(submit your post here)

Ree-purrted by KC

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